“I'm a traitor."
“I'm a coward."
“And yeah, I'm a kid too!"
"But you know what I'm not? Someone's who is going to let any of that hold me back when it comes to doing the right thing in the end."
A former member of what was to be the "blueprint" design of future Kirigakure team structure turned Chuunin after the hidden village's first chuunin exams, and one of the resident Jinchuuriki. This proverbial rising star would later participate in the Bloody Mist Tournament. Although he would claim no victories in the event after facing challenging opponents from foreign lands, Shippodoku Keiji & Iwata Michiko, the Moto would recover and continue his shinobu career, walking the middle ground whereas his former teammates were either promoted or fell behind in terms of rank for a time.
Old resentments, doubts, and paranoia would later drive Yoshi off this path, away from the young woman his Kirryu instincts marked as "mate", Shimizu Kiji, and the only steady home in the young man's life. At some point after an escort mission to the Land of Lightning, Yoshi failed to return the Land of Water, a fugitive at heart, and someday soon, in title.
Although born in the Land of Earth, Kiyoshi was raised most of his life upon the road as a member of one of the Kirryu's clan's traveling troupe. And while by luck his family managed to avoid the worst of shinobi conflicts plus a few catastrophic natural disasters, when the offer came for the Kirryu clan to officially join Konohagakure during its formation, Yoshi's parents were among the few who could not ignore the call of the road. Thus, once their farewell were said those that still longed for the road and wished to test the limits of their luck followed through with their desires. As time went by the demands to improve their craft through ninjutsu led them almost unerringly towards other shinobi villages.
At first they obtained their desire through observation and trade of information, then with further progression of time the increasingly turned to outright thievery of scrolls from shinobi and merchants alike during their performance. As a result, Yoshi spent much of his child hood more so on the road or out in the wild, alone and distant from his peers out of fear of their alliance abruptly changing should they discover his parents past. Only the love he shared with his parents and their nurturing of his gift for the less warlike aspects of ninjutsu kept the darkness in his heart at bay. Sadly, it still remained only a matter of time before the darkness gnawed away at too much of the child.
In seeing this, Yoshi’s parents came to a decision to try and turn over a new leaf after making their way into the Land of Lightning. Unbeknownst to the parents, Yoshi had also come to a decision as well that would ultimately change his life for the better and in some cases for the worst.
Due to their own notoriety rendering it difficult to go by land to reach their destination, the Yoshida's — one of many family surnames they chose to use for a cover — chose to place their life in the hands of an old friend Yoshi's father. Although this friend was a considerable good sailor with a competent crew, the storm that overtook them turned out to beyond their capabilities to handle without another disaster striking. Namely the disappearance of young Kiyoshi following the foolish choice to escape his parents combined grip and head top side to try and help. Miraculously, aside from Yoshi disappearing during the storm everyone else as well as the ship was relatively alright. As soon as the crew recovered the Yoshida family demanded a search. No trace of Yoshi was discovered before it became time for the ship to finally be directed to the nearest known harbor.
Meanwhile on an island just a few miles north of the Land of Water's main island chain, Yoshi awakens upon its beaches, waterlogged, uncertain, and alone. Paralysis caused by a mixture of despair and self-pity kept him frozen upon that spot for hours on end. In time by digging deep the young Kirryu managed to force his six year old body to search along the beach front for any sign of his parents, if not someone that could possible point the way. His search is all but fruitless until he made a peculiar discovery. At the mouth of a cave shaped roughly like the head of a beast, Yoshi found a kid – fair haired and scrawny — sleeping with a giant scroll for a pillow.
After a bit of misunderstanding about the kid's condition and the ethics behind prodding things with sticks, the fair haired child introduced himself as Akio Moto, the best darn fisherman, chef, and surfer in the world! Yoshi did not believe him at all. Still, Akio’s easy going demeanor put him at ease enough to sit down and talk with him before sleep inevitably claimed him. For a week straight Yoshi devoted his time to following Akio around as his assistant, even though at times the elder kid treated him like an annoying kid brother rather than the responsible young adult Kiyoshi tried to be. Truth be told, Yoshi reasoning behind sticking with Akio through thick and thin was mainly to keep his mind off of despair. Plus a promise was made that once Akio’s elder siblings returned to the island Yoshi would be at least given a ride back to the mainland.
In this time the duo gradually grew to truly trust one another. Kiyoshi also vaguely began understand the real reason behind Akio's being there. He learned that Akio had come to the island for the sake of making it his final resting place. Devastated, Yoshi demanded Akio if there was anything that could be done. As a reply Akio only asked that he did one thing for him…
It was not for another two month before Yoshi finally arrives at the gates of Kirigakure. With him is Akio's brothers Souta and Susumu. Their immediate request was to see the Mizukage regarding the Gobi. Over the course of the next few days the circumstances of Akio's disappearance – Two years prior Yoshi’s arrival — his dying wish, and Yoshi's new role as the jinchuuriki of Gobi was explained and discussed. During which time Yoshi was placed under protective custody and kept separated from the Moto brothers until a decision was finally cast. Yoshi would not, as suggested by Akio, have the five tails removed from his being for the sake of the traditional approaches regarding bijuu placement. He would also luckily remain in the familiar custody of the Moto brothers. There were however strict conditions such as Yoshi's temporary enrollment in Kirgakure's ninja academy…
His enrollment into the academy would be only temporary and intended only to help bring the boy up to speed with his peers in terms of history, kirigakure's protocols, and other similar subject. Martial training would be left up to his brothers. Later on, and with his less than stellar official graduation from the academy, boundary restriction was lessened to the Land of Water in general, and ONLY so long as he remained under supervision.
As advantageous as the concessions and restrictions could be, Yoshi did not pass through his sole year at the academy unscathed. Children can be cruel; especially undergoing tutelage in Kirigakure. His foreign' born status, seeming unwillingness to defend himself, and quick recover from injuries allowing no room for him to be excused to recover made him the perfect the target for many within those hallowed halls. Physically and mentally, Yoshi was pushed to the brink by his peers and even his teachers under the guise that their lessons were for the sake of getting the young Kirryu better acclimated to life in Kirigakure. As a result of this treatment Yoshi grew that much more isolated, and kept at a disadvantage when it came to advancing his understanding of ninjutsu and genjutsu.
Stubborn and unwilling to shuffle his burden off on his new brothers, Yoshi did not once complain, nor alert those that seemed to care for him about the situation. He learned by observation that such attempts would result in more trouble than worthwhile at the end in any case. So, stoically, he endured until a point was crossed in the form of a surprisingly elaborate set-up to embarrass him in front of all within the academy. From then on he devoted himself to learning how to return their ‘lessons’ in kind.
Over time he singled out those he could 'break' with little to no consequence, and do so without hesitation as 'taught' by his peers. Unfortunately, a particularly near fatal incident eventually reinforced the previous notion for Yoshi to undergo special one-on-one training on top of his academy training. While the exact details of the incident remains sketchy to the general populace at large, the rumors were enough to allow some small measure of relief from open reticule in the future. At the tender age of nine, roughly a year after being sent to the academy in the first place, Yoshi was finally free from the prison known as Kirigakure's academy, a genin with an uncertain future and poor reputation.
Around a year after Kiyoshi graduated from Kirigakure's Academy Kiyoshi, Yuriko, and Sei are put together to form team blueprint with then jounin Okumo Meruin as team lead. They were to be an experiment of sorts, as well as the shining example of what Kirigakure shinobi should aspire to become someday. A few months later, the team was almost destroyed by the actions of one man. Moto Kiyoshi, Kaguya Yuriko, Tokamou Hissomu, and Okumo Sei were targeted by a rogue Okumo seeking to experiment with aging seals. What should've sealed their fate, instead yielded an unexpected results. The four genin would age at an accelerated rate, but ultimately the flawed seal would terminate after they reached a certain age, leaving its victims hail and healthy so long as no further tampering with the seal was implemented. While they recovered from the seals initial marking, the rogue was later and unofficially brought to justice by the then Yondaime Mizukage, Okumo Meruin.
Later, those of team blueprint would be given the chance to have the seal removed earlier by a master fuinjutsuist, traveling medic, and as select few knew, Jinchuuriki of the seven tailed dragonfly-beetle, Nikumari Mushi. Those that opted to undergo the procedure would not escape the curse seal's effect untouched, but in fact be rapidly aged to the point the seal would have eventually terminated. Although told the risks and given time to think about it, Sei and Yoshi were the only ones to undergo the procedure, and as luck and Mushi's experience would have it, the duo are freed from the curse seal. It is only after conversing with Yuriko later did Yoshi fully understood what was traded away; his childhood, for good. He adapted to the best of his ability as only a Kirryu can, maturing rapidly in exchange for gradually losing pieces of his old identity.
No longer content with simply keeping the Five-Tailed Beast's main stomping grounds from being incidentally stumbled upon by those that may threaten to capture or allure the beast to their cause, Iwagakure's first Tsuchikage sought to finally bring the beast to heel upon hearing news of Hasiramako's campaign. A campaign that promised to put the great shinobi villages on even ground in terms of power revolving around that of the legendary tailed beasts. While the underlying reasons behind this abrupt rush to tame the beast remains a mystery, a small team along with that of the future Tsuchikage would seek out the creature for the sake of Iwagakure's future position in the world.
Their journey would take them to the far northwestern sector of the Land of Earth, already infamous for its seemingly ever changing landscape and seismic activities. As with most domains that such beast tend to call home, the land had a certain mystic to it that has kept all but the most unfortunate from treading upon what was essentially, sacred ground. During the very moment the Tsuchikage and his team stepped foot upon the great Five Tailed Dolphin-Horse's territory, a great stretch of land surrounded on all sides by virtually impassible mountains, the landscape as they knew it seemed to reject their very presence. Crevices opened up to try and swallow them, rock avalanches threatened to bury them, and small mountains sprouted from the earth like fast growing grass. Some of these disasters were but both tests and warnings set forth by the beast to try and dissuade those who may disturb its peace. The rest, natural but overwhelming phenomenon of the region that has been the key behind keeping humans from settling the land before the beast's arrival. When but only one member of the team had perished and still the Tsuchikage and his remaining cohorts still persisted with their trespass, Kokuo chose to comfort from the grove at the epicenter of the expansive valley and see to it that the challenge — the death wish they so proved to have would be granted personally, as demanded by honor and respect in their tenaciousness.
What should have been a decisive victory in a matter of minutes from the five tailed beast perspective, dragged on for hours on end. In time, neither it's unbreakable horns, unbending spirit, and seemingly invulnerable hide could not save it from being contained by the Tsuchikage and his team's, most of which consisted of Kamizuru, forbidden technique — Majestic Honey Well. It is at that point that things took a turn for the worse. The previously thought dead member of the team absconded with the sacred treasure that contained the beast, and utilized hidden tunnels beneath the Kokuo's main water lake to escape from the exhausted members of the seal team. Needlessly to say, though the Tsuchikage would later reluctantly accept Hashiramako's peace gesture in the form of another beast, the man who ran away with Iwagakure's most prized possession and its weapon would be hounded almost relentlessly.
The Moto brothers would later be deceived into accepting the thief's supposed cure all technique in hopes of saving their youngest brother Akio's life from a terminal disease, only to learn a few months later that the boy was made a Jinchuuriki. As for the thief, whatever hope he had on retrieving the bijuu at his leisure after losing his pursuers first was denied by the very same hunters putting an end to him, permanently. Unfortunately for Iwagakure, the original container for the tailed beast was all that could be recovered due to the thief leaving behind no clues regarding the bijuu's whereabouts.
Note on background: Information in the tabs "Yoshi's Origins", "Stolen Time", and "Bijuu History", is all stuff that only those mentioned within the entries would possibly be familiar with, but no one else, unless they actually investigate the information. Information in "Academy Dayz" would be information known to those in Kirigakure, but likely no where else unless investigated. If you wish to ICly learn information from one of these segments, you will need to acquire that information from Yoshi himself.
Yoshi life has not been easy to say the least, though compared to some in similar shoes, the ride could be still considered better by a long shot. He grew up on the road with nothing to call his own except what was picked and would not burden him, and that which was given by his parents. As traveling performers that diverged from the rest of their Kirryu kinsmen, and relatively unremarkable performers at that, the gifts were far and few. That being said, he grew up appreciative of the few and less tangible; such as the love of his parents and freedom to explore within reason.
Much of Yoshi's life has been spent isolated in one form or another, leading to stunted social skills. He learned over time to cope with this weakness, though he remains an often reserved and cautious fellow with a blunt way of speaking. Naturally this makes him a little difficult to get close to; especially given his past. Those that do however are rewarded with kind and fiercely protective soul, willing to lend an ear or aid in carrying the burdens of others.
On the other hand, those who would think to make an enemy out of him should beware. While not nearly as quick to anger or spite as he once was before his growth was accelerated, Yoshi does retain a breaking point; despite what his outward patience may imply. Once breached, he can be relentless, unforgiving, and savage in his endeavors to punish the one that has pushed him so far. Even more so in cases in which someone he cares about is threatened.
Then, there are moments in which Yoshi exhibits these traits, but dumb down to the level of a beast more than man. Such moments are rare and far between, but noteworthy because of the fact they are when he is at his most dangerous. And thus, best avoided for the sake of one's personal safety.
__Kokuō seems to be a quiet and reserved individual. Though it does not speak much, Kokuō uses the rather old-fashioned "watakushi" (私) when referring to itself, causing it to come across as very polite. Though one of the more prideful of the bijuu nine, Kokuo is a pacifist, choosing often silence or blatant ignorance of any who wound said pride unless pushed beyond a certain point. What aggression the Bijuu shows outside these circumstances seems to be displayed when challenged openly, hinting at some respect towards those that embrace honor over the typical deceit so readily taken up to obtain victory. While Kokuo and Yoshi have grown close enough for more of the Bijuu's true nature to be revealed, there remains some lingering resentment towards humans in general regarding the beast's original capture that continues to put the duo at odds at times. An issue that at times is made worse by the duo's pride and stubbornness.
|Likes||Yakitori, Solitude, Open Spaces, Blacksmithing|
|Dislikes||Being a burden, Fish, Humid Climates|
|Hobbies||Drawing, Swimming, Face Painting, Fishing|
|Strengths||Stubborn, Pragmatic, Slow to Anger, Protective|
|Weaknesses||Overly-Protective, Impatience, Bull-headed, Paranoid|
The before you stands at roughly six feet tall, deep tan in complexion, and bearing an athletic build that scarcely does the man's strength real justice. Long and slightly curly dark brown hair adorns his scalp, framing an an angular face with moss-green bangs. His hair extends further along the sides of his face and above the lips into a thin, scruffy mess. The skin covering up to half an inch beneath his mud brown eyes is vermillion, further enhancing in some ways the world weary upon an otherwise handsome mug. As if self aware of this fact, it is not uncommon for one to see this individual wearing shades or hidden beneath the shadows of a hooded upper body wear. Perhaps even both should the mood strike him.
With but a few exceptions, this man's attire is loose and simplistic in nature. Worn about his torso is a faded indigo kimono shirt that's left open to expose the top of bandages wrapped about the man's abdomen. A simple band of rope holds up tattered faded indigo pants that don't quite reach his ankles. A single split straw sandals otherwise bare feet, and carried almost always is a medicine box that nearly dwarfs his torso. It is past this point that the otherwise simple farmer or down-on-one's-luck merchant falls away. A thick, rich blue scarf coils about the neck, obscuring at times the lower half of his face, and drapping a several inches past the shoulder blades from one end. The second and perhaps more distinguishing aspect of the man before you is a sizeable weapon strapped to his form; typically a classical zanbato or nodachi.
Kiyoshi is born.
Kiyoshi is introduced to the world of shinobi through his parents traveling performance.
Meets the Moto Family.
Becomes the host for five-tailed demon, Kokuo.
Officially gains genin rank.
Gains his first friend, Kaguya Yuriko.
Apprenticed to Okumo Meruin.
Makes contact with the Gobi, unleashes a portion of its power.
Gains his first rival, Okumo Sei.
Meets Hissori, Mushi, & Isra.
Gains an Seal that accelerates the aging process.
Becomes student under Isra.
Joins team Blueprint; consisting of Yuriko, Meruin, Sei.
Mastery over the Gobi achieved.
Team Blueprint disbanded.
Officially gains Chuunin Rank.
Leaves Kirigakure for good under false pretenses.
Dismissed from Iwagakure's service to avert potential war.
Killed by Kirigakure forces; Kokuo returned.
Before Yoshi came in contact with the Moto brothers he had never once underwent formal training as a shinobi. Instead, the basics up to that point — such as substitution and the rope escape technique — were learned through observation and experience whenever he aided his parents in their performances. The Moto brothers further built upon this foundation to the point that by the time Yoshi entered the academy he was proficient enough to hold his own alongside his peers. Unfortunately, as Jinchuuriki of the five tailed demon as well as virtually an outsider due to being a foreigner, Yoshi has had a difficult time advancing beyond what is expected of an academy level student. His refusal to bring his ill treatment to either the higher officials or his brothers only hampered him in terms of learning to hone his understanding of ninjutsu and genjutsu.
Yoshi is naturally too stubborn to accept aid easily and thus pressed on by improving his mind and body through means less constricted by reliance on others. Plus, he is natural a spiteful and selfish individual, and as such, would not allow others to interfere in matters he took personal. This attitude led to a more developed physique compared to his peers, as well as a greater insight about the world at large. As a host of the five tails bijuu Yoshi’s durability and stamina is also greater than the average shinobi. This, coupled with his bijuu’s seeming compatibility due to high regeneration led, drives him onward down paths that best benefit from what is inherit. Namely Taijutsu, and perhaps the more risky through a wide variety of weapons.
In time, Yoshi's heart inevitable opened up to the point in which someone outside of the Moto family could be considered a friend, and in spite of attempts to keep such bonds tenuous at best, the young man's potential grew even further.
Yoshi’s knowledge about Ninjutsu is limited due in part to a preference for the physical arts. As a result, he knows of few techniques, and fewer still that do not inherently come with being a Jinchuuriki. Any and all ninjutsu he does know have been picked up over time for the sake of closing up a weakness in regards to range, or the possible elimination of his Jinchuuriki abilities.
Through self-study and the teachings of his mentor Isra, Yoshi has learned to utilize some seals, though currently for the sole purpose of storing weapons and supplies. Under the brief guiding hand of Akane, and by observing some of his former fellow Kiri shinobi, Yoshi has gained a grasp of his element affinities, fire and water.
|D||Bijuu Chakra Tail Swipe||Instinct|
|D||Bijuu Chakra Strike||Instinct|
|D||Improved Henge||Combat Experience|
|C||Bijuu Chakra Grapple||Instinct|
|B||Bijuu Branching Arms||Combat Adaption|
|A||Bijuu Sonic Catastrophe||Instinct|
Yoshi is divided evenly between hand-to-hand combat, and the use of weapons far too large to be wield by a normal person without some sort of enhancement. In the latter's case, he does so without any such enhancement or struggles as a result. Although the majority of his training in regards to weapons have mainly involved the use of swords, seeing as how his mentor is none other than the seven swordsman Isra Uzumaki, Kiyoshi has adapted what practices he could so that they remain present regardless of what weapons he chooses to wield. It adds a certain predictability to his methods, but his speed and roughly self-taught means of fighting removes the weakness.
The same self-taught adaptions to the foundations is present in his hand-to-hand skills. The academy and further training under Meruin has honed him to the point the man has grown comfortable enough to flow from known to the unknown without much trouble, and endure pain in all its myriad flavors without flinching. He has also gone as far as to begin incorporate the advantages of being a jinchuuriki into his fighting style, inventing the signature technique "Absolute Progress" in time.
As far as preferred method of fighting, taijutsu – armed or otherwise – is preferred. Intimidation and disabling his opponent(s) is a first priority by his book. While he has long since gotten over his qualms about killing, it remains personal preference of avoid needless death.
|D||Stealth II||Combat Experience|
|C||Sweeping Strike||Combat Experience|
|C||Perception III||Combat Experience|
|C||Advanced Stealth||Combat Experience|
|C||Physical III||Combat Experience|
|B||Absolute Progress||Combat Adaption|
|D||Weapon Block II||Self-Taught|
|D||Dodge II||Combat Experience|
|D||Perception II||Combat Experience|
|C||Weapon Block III||Combat Experience|
|C||What You Will||Combat Experience|
|C||Self Inflict II||Combat Adaption|
|B||Tempered Desires||Combat Experience|
|B||Uncanny Defense||Combat Experience|
|B||Bladed Self Inflict||Combat Experience|
Genjutsu is by far Yoshi’s WORST subject. While he does not necessarily lack the aptitude to pick up on techniques aligned with this style, without prior experience and early attempts to keep him blind to it, Yoshi simply does not know enough about it in order to employ it; only how shrug it off through sheer will power or pain.
Cures & Heals
Yoshi is not a medic, nor should he EVER be mistaken for one. That is unless one counts being able to break someones limbs in two as a medical talent. In which case, Yoshi is a certifiable surgeon. The demon within is another matter entirely,for so long as it remains within the former shinobi, its regenerative abilities benefit the boy as well. In time, the Kirryu went on to master the Bijuu's Chakra to the point of being able to even purge contaminants.
As Kokuō's jinchūriki, Yoshi is granted a significant amount of chakra and stamina from the beast. Mastery over the chakra produced by the beast has also granted the shinobi free reign over accessing the many varied tail variations of the Bijuu; included taking on the form of the Bijuu itself. This success is the result of his training under Okumo, Meruin, and the then sven-tailed Jinchuuriki, Mushi. Unlike other jinchūriki, Yoshi's corrupted bloodline has also gave birth to hybrid physical forms, blending the two natural advantages of beast and man while also removing some disadvantages.
Although control has been established, the five-tailed host is not completely resistant to entering such transformed states should sufficient emotional stress overwhelm reason. It is simply a great deal more difficult, and dominance over the power can be reasserted over the course of most battles.
|Kirryu Yoshi||Father||Kiyoshi loved his parents dearly, but there gradual descent towards the path of common criminals, along with the need to keep quiet or else severe consequences would be felt, put a great deal of strain on their relationship. His relationship with his father in particular typically involved a lot of head butting — figuratively and literally — over taking unnecessary risks among other minor disagreements.|
|Maki Kokoro||Mother||Kiyoshi relationship with his mother was fairly better than the one he had with his father. While she did push him to act outside his comfort zone it was always with a gentle hand. Though at times she did manipulate him through words visual examples…|
|Akio||Aniki||Akio was as much as Kiyoshi's elder brother figure as he was his savior. His passing and the new found burden on his shoulder that came with his death is something that still troubles the young Kirryu. It is with a heavy heart Kiyoshi presses on for both of their sake.|
|Souta & Surumu||Guardians & Brothers||Kiyoshi still does not fully understand his elder brothers peculiar antics, obsession over close contact, or even why they so quickly accepted him into their family after what had happened to their real brother. Even so, they remain the only people he can trust in Kiri, so he tolerates there little quirks to the best of their ability. Plus, even he has to admit (to himself) that an illusion still beats an outright lack of a connection with those closest to him.|
|Okumo Meruin||Ex-Master||Kiyoshi a great deal of respect and a healthy dose of fear of the man, but remains steadfast in his belief that the Okumo may only be little more fit for the title of Mizukage than his predecessor. He is, however, mindful of the fact that his view is tainted by feelings of resentment, both justified and not.|
|Uzumaki Isra||Mentor||Yoshi has learned much while training under this individual. She is even in fact one of the few that have helped the Kirryu opened up over the years. There are some things that remain he has yet to fully understand about her beyond concern regarding her place in Kirigakure, and now it seems he never will…|
|Feari||Ex-Seven Swordsman||This individual has been found odd by Kiyoshi's standards, but in a good way. Mostly. The man projects an admirable sense of style to say the least. Yoshi grieved as others in Kirigakure have grieved for the loss of this shinobi.|
|Kaguya Yuuka||Clan Elder||Kiyoshi no longer holds onto any delusions regarding this woman. Although he will always respect her for a number of reasons, he will no longer risk making the same again. She is a clan elder, the mother of a former friend, but no more than that.|
|Kaguya Yuriko||Former Friend||A childhood friend that Yoshi may have ultimately let down by making a decision that would drive a wedge forever between them. Whatever hope for reconciliation between them is a factor unknown to Yoshi.|
|Nikimaru Mushi||Onee-chan||Yoshi has come to learn more about the woman after she last visited the Land of Water, and less at the same time. All in all, he has a certain respect for her, even though at times she aggravates the mess out of him with her libations.|
|Kirigakure||Bane||Now that Kiyoshi has broken away from the village, it is only a matter of time before every tie left to the village becomes a toxic that may crush what remains of the young man's spirit.|
|Sunagakure||Potential Trouble||They are allied with his bane, and are thus consider a concern at the least, and an outright threat at the most should news of his 'disappearance' reach their ears.|
|Eremi||Mr. Mysterious||The man who would threaten an entire village for a single wrong, and more than willing to make good on a promise by his demeanor. Kiyoshi knows not the name of this individual, or what to do with certainty about him. The only thing for certain is that he /will/ have to confront him again at some great cost.|
|Shimizu Kiji||Ex||They have grown past the disorienting friend stage, and our now so much more to each other. While there remains a few issues in their relationship due to the past. Kiji was once his heart; a treasure at times taken for granted.Now she remains only as a source of fear, guilt, and pain bound to lead to his destruction.|
Breaking Point - Unknown
Its done. When they find out what actually happened, they'll never forgive me for it. But I couldn't stay in that place any longer. I had thought I could get past all the little things that always irked me about Kirigakure, or downright made him hate it at times. But obviously, I thought wrong. The thing is I don't really know for sure what was it that really was the final straw.
I'd be lying if I said that she had nothing to do with it. Kiji. I knew it was going to happen eventually, but I didn't want to believe it. I… underestimated just how self-sacrificing she can get. Choice? Hah! Don't make me laugh Sei. You knew from the start I bet what she would do for her "new" kinsman. How far she would go, if ever a time came for some grand dream of the clan to be realized.
Or maybe I was just being paranoid. Maybe if I said or did something, she wouldn't have been so quick to just… offer up pieces of herself as if its no big deal. Its never really a big deal if it grows back, right? Its too late for maybes though, and honestly even if I had tried to do something about it, would it have been the right thing? Guess will never know.
That's it for now. I need move on before anyone has a chance to catch up. After facing the punishment Tsiro-sama can dish out, I'm not looking forward to facing any Hunter Nin anytime soon.
Lost in the Rough - Unknown
Its been nearly two weeks since the disappearing act. I still don't know where it is exactly I want to go, only that to stop moving for too long is gonna get me killed. Even if those armored guys — samurai, I think they were called — were willing to overlook my presence for now, there's no telling how long it will be before they catch wind of what I am.
Maybe they even already know, and are just waiting for the chance to make a profit off of selling me to the next hunter to reach their lands. It may be a bit of a stretch given the reputation these guys have for being honorable, but that doesn't mean they'll just let me lie low forever here. No. I'll be gone by the morning. Kokuo just gave me an idea for a place we might be able to lay low for a while longer, provided the previous tsuchikage did not ever get around to telling his successor where it is.
A place Kokuo used to call "Home".
Homecoming… Sort of - Unknown
So, turns out that this place Kokuo called home is a lot further away than I expected. I knew the Land of Earth was large and everything, but I guess I kind of got my hopes up for some secret short cut to be available only to us. You know, because of — Nevermind, its not important.
On the plus side, I have had plenty of time practicing my henge no jutsu. It came in handy finding us work, and a ride through some of the territory. Tough as my feet are, it a sharp rock angled just right still hurts like no tomorrow. Best to avoid leaving a blood trail on top of things. But I'm getting way off topic.
We were starting to run low on supplies when we came across this merchant, you see. For the life of me, I can't keep his name locked in this thick skull of mines. I'd ask him right now, but judging by how much the pots and pans are rattling, the old guy is pretty much dead to the world right now. He saw me in my henged form, and… I guess he felt sorry for me. Supplies weren't the only things run down about us — me. I had to shed a lot of weight in order to make sure the trail stayed as cold as possible. It probably won't make much of a difference in the end, but it wasn't as if I wanted to go around wearing a big ol sign over my head that said 'Ninja here! Get you free ninja! May or may not be a fugitive!' I may not be as smart as some folk, but even I have enough common sense not to do that.
Not enough to ditch my old forehead protector of course, but then I still haven't decided what I really want to do with it. You can't just throw away your past, so why bother trying, right?
Moving On - Unknown
There isn't much to talk about today. Nothing I want to write about anyways, I mean. Only thing really to note is that I decided to take a risk by heading down south into the Land of Wind. Things were beginning to look unstable in the Land of Earth, and I rather not get caught up in it. I hope those kids do alright though; even the haughty one. The path of the shinobi isn't an easy one to walk.
Still, its a big risk. Sunagakure & Kirigakure are still allies as far as I know, which can only spell trouble for me if the latter decided to spread the word about my 'disappearance'. There's Arika-imoto-chan to worry about too. She's just the type to run off without a word if I tell her what happened, or blab about my being about if she slips up and gets cornered. But oi, I might be able to get some news about Kirigakure out of it in exchange. Maybe if pass along a few things before I have to move on again.
By the Kami, I'm getting tired…
Remembering - Unknown
When aniki took me aside that day, I already knew that whatever it was was gonna have something to do with the secret he had kept from me since I first found him in that cave, half-dead (though he never admitted) and ready to kick the bucket. Never once in my wildest dreams did I believe the secret to be as big as what he told me — showed me that day. Seriously? I was terrified so much I think I even wet my pants for the first time. But once I saw the look in his eyes, the same one that i've had to deal with whenever I looked in the mirror before the accident, I knew then and there that it was time.
Time to stop pretending.
Time to stop trying to crying.
Time to really man-up.
So, I told the truth right then and there. Its terrifying what aniki could become. It'd scare just about anyone that looked upon him at that moment. But still, he's aniki thru and thru, and I didn't give a rat's behind bout anything else, 'cept seeing my brother go back to being his goofy old self again. And for a time things were going good. Heck, I'd even say great. We fished, swam, collected whatever random stuff floated in, and all kinds of stuff. But then his elder brothers arrived to take him elsewhere. Me too of course, on account that Aniki vouched for me 'nd, well, they all are nice like that. At least that's what they told me later, but we never made it off that island right away. You see, Aniki was sick. He's been that way just about all his life really. That still didn't stop those kiri folks from putting that thing inside of him. Something about his chakra being compatiable and some other such nonsense. Honestly if I'd met them I'd of…. Well, I don't know what I would've done. Jus know that I would've not stand there while they forced some demon down my gullet to keep it locked up. And THEN expect ME to tap into its power and manipulate it like some kind of super weapon!
But that all don't — didn't matter at the time. Aniki was tired. Tired of living his life hanging on the borders between this world and the next. And tho he never said it aloud, we all knew he was tired of being a burden on us. We never thought of him as one! But still…
Sometimes, I wish I had'na been there. Sometimes I just wished I drowned. That way his brothers would not have agreed to accepting Aniki's wishes. Then again, can it be said they would've suffered more? I just don't really know. What I do know is that Aniki was gonna need someone to take his place before he kicked the bucket. Somebody he could trust to carry the burden and wouldn't just buckle under pressure. With how impulsive I sometimes tend to be its a miracle they — my brothers let me take over. Then again, its not like they had a lot of time, plus the 'host' needed to be someone whose chakra network was still fresh. Or some such nonsense.
Long story short, Aniki died. I took his place. Souta-oniisan and Surumu-niisan accepted me into their family. And now I live in Kirigakure just willing the time away until those same higher officials that forced Aniki to play jailer manage to mold me into the thing they wanted Aniki to become: a weapon.
Dream or Nightmare - Unknown
There's nothing in this world that I would love more than to stop all of this. To stop noticing, and thinking, and just being me sometimes. It ain't right. I'm just a kid 'nd the only thing that pops into my head is the type of stuff that nobody else goes through my age. Definetly not no other kids who can just coast past the messed up stuff like it ain't nothing. Guess that's what its like though when you have real parents, 'nd not just a couple of brothers who have to deal with a promise I -know- they don't wanna keep.
It's happened for the first time last night. The dreams Aniki warned me about I mean. It had to happen sooner or later, but I guess I didn't help things by trying so hard an not be me. To stop wondering, planning, and preparing to either chase my new sensei away, Okumo Meruin, or just let things be until we actually got through a training session together. Stress 'nd — (OOC Note: Kiyoshi seems to go off on a tangent based on what can be seen inscribed beyond the blacked out portions of the next few lines.)
There's something familiar about the place the dream took me. There's no light except from candles and braziers, each bearing white flames. The way everything is lined up, the walls, the windows — all of it reminds me of some ancient castle. Everything except one stairway made out of stone. From there I here a voice, echoing off the walls that made up the passage at even intervals. At first I need to strain myself just to find out what's it saying. After awhile though it gets pretty clear. Something down there calls my name. Its scary. I try to block out the voice after realizing this. Sadly, it only gets worser and worser until I finally can't stand it anymore. Or maybe I got fed up cowering in fear of the monster that took my Aniki away? The one I swore to rid this world of. I'm not sure. I just know I begin to descend.
Hope not though, cuz I'd like to get some actual sleep tonight…
Yuriko-chan - Unknown
I met this little Kaguya girl a few weeks ago and I just don't know what to make of her. One minute she reminds me of all those bubbly little kids, ya know, before they enter the academy. The next, she's like some wise old woman smoking a pipe
Sei-teme - Unknown
First Official Mission - Unknown
My first mission outside of the village wasn't what I'd expected. Technically, its not even an official one but Meruin still gave myself and this Touketsu, Renario or something a chance to participate. I gotta say I didn't think he had it in him to bend the rules like that. Then again, he probably saw the mission as a way to test us in a less controlled environment. The context of the mission certainly bespoke of something along those lines.
Dream Again - Unknown
Everything. I remember it all now. I mean, not exactly everything but enough to paint a picture. Not very great picture though. A couple of things are still foggy to me, like, why that place looked like it did and who built it and things like that. That… thing commented on it at some point I think. Something about the castle being a reflection of my psyche. I laughed at him for it and told him I ain't that grim. At least I think I laughed. But that's kind of besides the point of what I'm trying to get out of my head before I go stir crazy.
The moment my foot touched the first step a candle — burning with that same eerie white flame — lit up along the walls of the stairway. It almost made me flinch. Almost. But I kept on walking down. Hours felt like they were flying by as I walked. It would've been fine cuz I like to taking walks to clear my head sometimes. The thing is, no end ever seemed in sight. So yeah, I got a little scared after awhile. Not scared enough to go back (which I couldn't anyway on account of the steps behind me dropping off into nothing), but just generally freaked out alright. Guess that's what 'it' was waiting for to try and shake me up, because right as I'm considering just going trying to go back, there's this light seems to magically pop on ahead. Well, alright, not just magical but I ain't gonna get into that now.
As quietly as possible, I tread down the remaining steps and step into this huge room. Huge is putting it mildly though, because you can't even see the ceiling or the walls outside of the light of the candles from the steps and… the braziers encircling what looks like a giant pool close to the center. There columns scattered about to, but those aren't all that important. What WAS important was the pool. Again, don't ask me how I knew that that was where the voice, the feeling… the WHATEVER was coming from cuz it kind of shut up after the weird, magickey light at the end of the stairway popped up.
Anyways, I approached, openly. No point wasting time trying to tread softly at this point. The monster already knew I was in there. "Finally, Geki." It dared to say with disdain and still it remained out of sight. I held my head high and picked up the pace until I reached the edge of the pool. I vaguely recalled the flames in the braziers brightening when I passed their circle, but at the time I figured it was just one last desperate attempt at the beast trying to scare me.
They were the 'fix' the seal masters at Mizukage's command set in place to try and fix the damage inflicted by the beasts attempt to free itself during the transfer. He — 'It' whispered this a few days after I sucked it up and told my brothers about these dreams. I doubt the demon tells the truth. But I cannot deny everything that was exchanged between us. The fact that he now openly whispers in my ears renders it difficult to -not- consider. But I'm getting off track again.
The Truth - Unknown
Everything I ever wanted since taking big brother Akio's place was at my finger tips. And I blew it. Just. Like. That. I'm not sure who I hate more, me, Akio, or Mushi. I wanna blame the demon lodged in my chest… it's all I wanna do right now if it'll make it easier. But… that ain't my way. It ain't gonna be my way anymore I mean. None of us had a choice in the matter when it came to the ties that bound us, least of all the demon. Now, don't get me wrong. This doesn't mean I suddenly like it or anything. Just that I'm gonna try and be more understanding. A little. What with us being stuck until I die and what not. Freaking sucks is what it does. Which reminds me…
I'm gonna need to tell Yuriko-chan the truth, won't I?
Confrontation - Unknown
(OOC Note: Much of the pages in which this entry was written on was waterdamaged, warping the page. In addition to this, much of the words were scratched out or partially erase. The following is an excerpts of what all can be honestly made out of the mess.)
It just ain't fair. None of it is.
Why did it have to be this way?!
She'll never forgive me for this. None of them will.
What choice did I have?! He… What does Hissori really know!? A monster! Hah. Whatever the heck >he< is doesn't even come close to what I am. Not by a long shot!
Nightmare it is then… - Unknown
I'm glad to be aware of the beast prowling about in my head, but hearing when I don't want to on top of having it pry into my dreams is just… very aggravating. You'd think by now it would've found other things to do instead of bothering me with cryptic nonsense, non-words, and insults, but of course, that ain't the case at all. I'm starting to wish I took up the offer from Mushi-senpai. Just a bit.
Too late now though. Sort of. Something about that is gonna have to change and soon if I'm ever gonna be able to work on more important things. Like getting back at Sei for an example!
Anyways, All I know is that I want at least one night of sleep without having to deal with him busting in on my dreams, so that's what I'm gonna try to do now. If not, somebody is gonna have a busted snout tonight.
The Mini Team Meet Hide - Unknown
What I expected from our first official team meeting was for some glaring at Sei, Meruin-sensei giving us some type of test, and, ya know, a run down of what's expected of us once the test… if we passed anyways. You know, the usual stuff, right? But of course I just ain't that luck. Not entirely… sorta. I mean, it was nice to find out that Sei-teme could be brought low n'all. I just wished I had a hand in that personally.
Anyways, Meruin-sensei has gone too far now. Seriously, who the heck gives kids 100,000 ryo, and then expect them to spend it on raising and running a business!? What the heck does he think we are? Rich, Arrogant, and pumpous Merchant kids with tight butt parents? No. But that still didn't stop him from putting that on the table as if its a normal thing. I don't care if the seal on us is gonna make us age faster. You just… It's just ain't right or fair. But I guess he's trying to make it a point that life just ain't fair.
As if me and Yuriko-chan didn't already know that…
No Zen - Unknown
Meditate sensei-says. More like relax on this boiling pot of water as I hypnotize you into reliving a nightmare! Though reliving ain't quite right. It was more… I don't know. Like paranoia giving a solid form. At least, that is what I sensed while — Point is, unless >that< is the only way I'm gonna be able to master this power inside of me, I ain't doing that crap again! I ain't — I won't — I can't!
But who am I kidding? At this point Meruin-sensei can ask any old ridiculous thing he wanted the team to do and the higher-ups won't do crap about it.
Freaking Fudge Monocles.
The Plan - Unknown
Step 1) Find the perfect stashing place for sweets.
Step 2) Make sure I ain't followed to said places.
Step 3) Switch Step 1 and 2 somehow.
Step 4) Figure out a way for me and Yuriko-chan to pass whatever tests Meruin-sensei may cook up to make sure we haven't been cheating on our new diet.
Step 5) Figure out just what the heck kind of business I'm supposed to be making out of this 95,000 ryo.
Step 6) Look into anti-arachnid stuff. Just inc ase.
Step 7) Spite Meruin-sensei.
Step 8) Out do Sei with my company.
Step 9) Work Sleep in there somewhere, like now for instance.
Step 10) Make a shorter list!
Step 11) Remember to find out if Souta-onii-chan is gonna be able to take me to the festival at the end of the month. Some type of warrior dance thing If I remember right.
Cloud Walkers - Unknown
It turns out they weren't kidding about Kumo invading the Land of Water. They exaggerated a little, but that's about it. Can't say I ain't impressed with who they sent, or at least, the one guy that I did meet that was apart of the entourage. Huge fellow. Not as big as that one Kaguya I saw, but he ain't a small fry either. He had that feel, ya know? But there was something off about him too. Not necessarily the bad kind off I mean. Just off. If I didn't know any better I'd say he's got same issue as the Kaguya have though. He certainly ain't built like he wouldn't hesitate to scrape if given the chance, though, at the same time… I dunno. But I'm gonna be keep a close eye on these visitors.
A very, close eye.
Stain - Unknown
(Note: The page on which this entry rest seems to have a lot of dark red splotches and smudges about it. For those perceptive enough it is obviously blood. Also, the words inscribed are darker than the other print, presenting the possiblity of a different ink or harder press upon the page.)
I don't understand. I just don't get it. No matter how many times I clean my hands I can still see it. On my hands and on my feet and on my chest and in my hair. I can't stand it. I can't stand the smell of it! There's a word for this. I read it in a book once. That clinical crap doesn't even cover the half of it though.
It's gotta be alright.
Organization - Unknown
Can't say that I'm all that happy I'm all too thrilled about this business crap, but ain't nothing new. But you know, I'm still suprised it went through. I would think the Mizukage would've had something against this whole kids building organizations. Or at least Souta-oniisan. But no. Then again, I don't think even he took me serious. Can' blame him either.
Who am I kiding? I just know I'm gonna need to leave chopper at home on reporting day.
Escape Plans.. Or Not? - Unknown
She practically handed me the keys to pursuing her, or even taking care of the threat that promised to take her away from kiri for good. But should I really carry out what my heart is yearning for? I know that if I were to do so, Meruin-sensei would make good on that unspoken promise between us. And what would Yuriko-chan think of me should I get caught before even accomplishing anything?
My chest grows tight just thinking about all this and more. I need more time to clear my head. Maybe if I confront Meruin-sensei about it things can be different? Its not as if Kirigakure can just ignore the threat. Then again, knowing him, he'd be more interested in saving me as a last resort than trusting me enough to not behave reckless.
Either way, I won't be able to focus properly tonight to do one thing or the other, so I'll leave things be tonight. But tomorrow, I must make a decision.
Test #01 - Unknown
Until these personal test are over the focus of these entries shall be devoted towards the observations of my most recent transformation. Although transformation would be putting it mildly.
In anycase, to start I went with the most simple of test that also coincided with hopefully ensuring that Onee-chan will not incure the wrath of the Mizukage. As to expected, although strong for my age before, my strength has increased in proportion to my size. Case-in-point being my ability to both carry and remove several of the destroyed palm trees from Onee-chan episode, whereas my original stature would allow one at most, and even then, at the cost of decreased maneuverability.
This new stature remains unyieldy to a degree. Although I no longer strike my head against the top of door frames, or trip over the smaller folk that tend to flood the streets at certain hours, I find myself taken by surprise when altering my course rapidly. Essentially what happens is an underestimation of just how quickly my body can actually/cover distance, and at times, how readily this body is capable of shifting its balance.
In short, I believe that the notion of investigating more open spaces in the future should not just simply be idly entertained. There is more as well that should be noted on the physical side, but for the time being such things will be left in account mentally.
Test #02 - Unknown
There is not much that can be said about this particular point of view without an undue amount of assumptions potentially blinding me from reaching a solid assessment. What I shall dare to believe is thus; I am more at peace with myself then I was before.
Test #03 - Unknown
This last test — assessment has followed a more significant series of events outside a controlled test area. In other words, missions of note.
I have become more territorial and protective.
I despise the smell of snakes.
I am no longer troubled by thoughts of killing for pleasure, or in general for that matter.
Although only a single tail is accessible to me without an emotional trigger, I have found myself capable of maintain my sense-of-self should I enter two tailed state, pending on increased stress.
The smell of Kirigakure as a whole does not bother me anymore.
I no longer feel the need to hide my face behind a gas mask/re-breather.
Now, dinner time.
Who I Am Meant to Be - Unknown
I don't know why I was so determined to not see the truth. Leave it to Yuriko-chan to show my stubborn butt the way. Still, she's not right about everything. While I'll grudgingly admit that some things have changed, I know for a fact that not enough has to warrant me not wanting to remain her friend. Or maybe there's something else that I'm missing?
Doubtful. Even so, I can only come up with so much on my own. I have my next day off in a week or so roughly, so I'll see if I can schedule some type of meeting with Yuuka-sama. 'Course I'm really grasping at straws I probably shouldn't be tugging at, and honestly, I don't care.
New Technique - Unknown
[[collapsible show="+Edge of Reason" hide="-Close Entry"]]
I don't know why I thought things were the way there were. All I know is I feel like an idiot for thinking Yuuka-sama thought of me like a son, almost, instead of just some kid that hanged out with Yuriko sometimes. But I know better now, and at least my last meeting with her wasn't a complete let down.
Not that it still doesn't qualify as one. I just wish I knew before. It might not have changed my decision or anything with the seal and all, but at least it probably wouldn't have hurt as bad. But that's just how life works out though, huh?
Meaning Something - Unknown
I know it was wrong, selfish, and all kinds of messed up, but I just couldn't take it anymore. Just for a little while I didn't want to think anymore. And I'm not sure if this makes it worse or not, but this is Kiji-chan we're talking about. The weird boy who turned out to be a girl, kissed me out of the blue when I went to visit her at the hospital, and later – point is, no matter how much I love Kiji-chan, (yeah, I said it..), I shouldn't have done what I – I shouldn't have just let it happen.
But it did… thrice. And it's not that I'm trying to say that I regret it now. Just that it all could've been handled better or… something? I don't even know what I'm trying to write here aside from things having gotten very complicated, stressful, and kind of exhausting; especially when stacked on top of Meruin-sensei being too busy to get 'that' out of the way. And that's not even taking to account my last meeting with Yuuka-sama as well.
I just really… need to lay down for awhile.
The Incident - Unknown
It's been nearly a month since I even thought about it. Things got pretty busy kind of fast, you see, so there's that. Don't change the fact that I've been kind've putting this off for far too long. It'd probably be better to just talk it out with someone, but this… what happened is just not the thing I'm willing to come out about. Not yet.
Anyways… I finally remember it all started with Sei sending me some sort of missive about… something. I /think/ it had something to do with Kiji-chan. Which makes sense. Sort of. At least from the whole having harmed a comrade during a mission. Sometimes I still wonder why I wasn't immediately imprisoned for what happened. Accident or not, I still almost killed her.
But that's is an issue I'm not ready to get into tonight.
I endured… and I fought him off, for awhile. But then, Sei triggered something. Music that wasn't music, clawing at mind, trying to peel me back. I had to stop the music. It had to stop. I stopped caring about how or even the why, I just needed it to stop. And it did…
Every now I get the feeling of my skin peeling away and my blood boiling to the surface before mixing with this other force, a living forge in a every sense of the word. It existence wasn't meant to be contained, but it's been squished into some weak container regardless. I can't explain fully how I know this, I just… know. All I felt and all I sensed after it took over was pain and darkness, smothering everything that was me.
For the first time (and I hope only time), I wished for death. I guess that wish snapped something inside of me, because the next thing I knew I could feel the ground beneath my feet, my hands, everything still felt like it was on fire, but I didn't care. I was me again… somewhere still dark if not for the pool of light some ways ahead. A red light. I remember needing to get to the light and taking that first step towards it; but afterwards, nothing. I woke up some hours or I think a day later washed up at my the entrance of my hideout. Kiji-chan was there and..
Meruin found me a day later on the cliff face trying to recollect what happened in my head. Not that I really needed to to figure out what happened. Nobody must've gotten hurt or he was just in a good mood. Either way, he didn't punish me in the way I thought he would regarding the incident. He just pretty much offered to help me take the reigns back. I agreed. But the thing is… I'm not sure if its what I really want…
Re-cycle - Unknown
I swear, it's like a never-ending circle with Yuriko nowadays no matter what we're doing. One day things seem fine (mostly), and the next everything just gets flipped on its head. It's frustrating sometimes, but… refreshing, kind of. Weird too. All I know is that getting back at me for that whole henge thing kind of even things up between us… Though she did leave kind of quickly after I tried to apologize about not understanding her look on instinct.
Meet with the Shark Man - Unknown
It has been a while since I've had time to do this. Probably, a little too long. Kidding. Life has been pretty hectic for this past couple of months. Ever since this group called the 'The Silence' announced themselves to the world at large, it's been one thing after the other. I could go on and on about them and what they've done, but not tonight. Tonight I want to write about something just a little more light-hearten.
Specifically, the Seven Swords. I can't remember what started me on this path of trying to find out more about the legendary blades and the people behind them, though I'm pretty sure its somewhere on the other pages. But if I were to guess off the top of my head now, it probably had something to do with Yuuka-san in the beginning. Probably some silly way of trying to find out more without it all coming out all weird and stuff. It was stupid in hindsight. 'specially considering how… Alright, enough with getting off topic so much.
I met the wielder of Samehada today. He is… weird, yet cool at the same time. He caught me off guard at first by knowing my name, though I guess it shouldn't have been that big of surprise. Having the person wielding a blade that eats chakra know about the village other big 'weapons' makes sense. I think so at least. Though perhaps I jump the gun a little and made a bunch of assumptions. Kind of too late now to worry now, eh?
More importantly, the most important thing I learned from this encounter (besides Ishino stepping down and a bit more insight into Mushi's banishment) is that it is apparently better to believe in destiny over coincidences. I’m not entirely sure I want to agree with that yet, but it is something to keep in mind when the next time run into someone somewhere and someday.
Brother Ruminations - Unknown
Currently, I am having a hard time figuring out which is more embarrassing. The fact that it took my brothers so long to have the talk talk, or the fact they bothered at all after their first crack at it. Either way, there amendment has scarred me for life. Seriously. I could probably think of at least twelve better ways they could’ve gone about this whole thing without it being nowhere near as embarrassing, and this being /before/ me and Kiji-chan crossed that line.
(OOC Note: The next few lines appear to have undergone some form of water damage, and thus are illegiable).
Note to self: Don’t think of ‘that’ stuff while writing. Also… find out more why drooling and ‘that’ are associated. Later. Much, much later. But as I was saying earlier, my brothers are twenty kinds of crazy. I expected what had happened out of Surumu-oniichan, but for Souta-oniichan to not only agree but also join in – that image really won’t leave my head. I am, however, glad that there won’t be another one like that any time soon, and that my time – my being with Kiji is out in the open officially. The looks they be giving me feels sometimes now still feels kind of weird. Maybe they didn’t expect it out of me at all. Which, I guess I can agree with it, grudgingly. Either way, Surumu-oniichan called it a really good bonding experience and said that we should have these family meetings more often. Oh. And that I should make sure to bring Kiji and Yuriko-chan sometime.
I don’t understand why, but for some reason the idea of being in the same room as all four of them fills me with this sort of bad feeling…
Da Business - Unknown
Seems the time to step into the light and take over the Moto Alliance (or something like that?) is fast approach. I’m not looking forward to it, to say the least. Nor can I understand why both Souta-oniisan and Surumu-oniichan think it is such a good idea for me to officially take over when things have – as far as I have been aware – going so well so far under Surumu-oniichan’s care. It is my hope that Meruin-sensei has not had a hand in this decision, but likewise, the idea can’t be ruled out as well.
Regardless of what the case may be, the idea of running my own organization does not sit well with me. I’ve barely obtained a grasp on the concept of what it means to be a man, and only recently have I exercised my understanding of it. So frankly, I do not believe that I am even close to ready. But… circumstances make the man. While I do fear the responsibilities – minor though they are so long as things remain stable amongst the business involved – they were mines originally from the beginning. Granted, this would not be the case if not for Meruin-sensei’s… influence. Nevertheless, the fault remains my, as well as the consequences of those actions.
But still, so bothersome.
Mushi - Unknown
There isn’t a chance in hell that Meruin-sensei will agree to it yet, but I don’t believe I can put this off for much longer. Now that I have control, er, not control but more like now that me and the five tails are seeing things more on an even level now, it is time that I’ve gone and seek out the other Jinchuuriki. Most importantly, I must find Mushi-oneechan. It’d be like her not to tell me much if anything at all about why she was exiled from the Land of Water, but still, I have to find out.
After all, it isn’t fair that she left before our deal was complete. There’s still much I need to learn from her. Plus, Surumu-oniichan has been driving me crazy about the ‘babe’ I brought home that one time, so it’d save me a bunch of time trying to convince him that he should look elsewhere for a date.
Unluckiness - Unknown
I used to think I had bad luck until I met Kiji. The life of a shinobi is not a quiet and peaceful one typically, even that much I understand now. But to be kidnapped technically thrice now is like, ultra bad luck or something. Against it, I feel helpless. Each time I could do no more than be with her after the fact, not protecting her as I should be. I'm not stupid. I know there are things in life that no one can control. Doesn't mean I have to like it, or sit back and let it keep happening.
The Edge - Unknown
Souta-oniisan praised me on my swordsmanship today for the first time. I can't agree. Its still shoddy in places, and sometimes it feels as if relying on my past techniques is a mistake. Haven't I got strong enough to start, I dunno, experimenting a little? If I'm gonna be a better swordsman, or heck, become a seven swordsman myself one day, then it has to start happening sooner rather than later.
Regret - Unknown
There in the Land of Lightning. It took some time, but Surumu-oniisan's contacts finally got back to him with the word. I still can't believe that their practically a boat trip or two away. Though I guess what I really can't believe is that they haven't found out about me yet. I want to believe it was because of how bad the storm was. I can barely remember that time myself, and I know I hadn't ever used my Kekkei Genkai before it, but… Was it so bad that they even thought that wouldn't be enough? Or did they just take the easy way out like they did before? If so, I don't want to have anything to do with those people. Never again. I don't care what my brothers might think of me taking the easy way out myself.
The Beast - Unknown
The call has been getting louder as of late, clouding my thoughts, and making it impossible to do even the simpliest things right. Souta-oniisan suggested a trip to the Bloody Marshes without weapons would fix me right up. I'm still reeling from that. I haven't heard him crack a joke since I first met him on the beach. That isn't to say he doesn't got a sense of humor, but it just isn't like him. If it was Surumu-oniisan, sure, but Souta-oniisan? I would have a easier time believing that I'm a girl with some really crazy mad science type of origin going on then that.
I'd even sooner challenge Yuriko-chan to a spar, then believe it. But either way, it isn't a /bad/ suggestion, but it can't be the only one as well. And what if I run into some other Kiri-nin while I'm all not me? And how the heck am I gonna get Meruin-sensei approval for it? He's been so busy as of late, not even his own team has been able to see him. Granted, we ain't much of a team as of late, but the point still stands!
Surumu-oniisan tried to be slick by mentioned my getting off my butt, and trying to get a hold of my parents in regards to this problem despite knowing how I still felt about them. And given how hard its getting to ignore the call, I'm… tempted. Like, very tempted. Too tempted for it to be normal it feels. Sometimes, I even find myself seated at my and Yuriko-chan favorite spot, just staring off in the direction of the main land, imagining myself running through the trees, and feeling so exhilarated, free, and not so alone.
Girls - Unknown
Girls are weird. I know I've said this before, but after what happened between Kiji & Yuriko, well, it really sunk in I guess. Its not a bad thing; complicated, but not bad. It does kind of make me wonder how I wound up involved with them in the first place. Its not that I didn't expect to at some point without becoming a monk (Fat chance of that happening), but still…
Progress Report - Unknown
This morning some real progress was made in the Ninjutsu department. Took me awhile, but I've finally managed to improve my transformation technique to where I can keep it up during spars. Only problem is that I can't risk taking too many hits before it breaks. Still, its better than what I've managed in the past.
On another note, though Kokuo refuses to admit to it, I've been getting these flashes of inspiration whenever I use my chakra cloak. Do's and Don'ts that have made it easier to manipulate it. There's a lot of work left to go before I reach Mushi-oneechan's level. A /whole/ lot! I've been thinking — well, I considered it before, but now I really want to see if Meruin-sensei will allow me to try and seek out the other Jinchuuriki. I'll need to come up with a really good excuse, but I know it'll be worth it. It has to be…
Isra's Resignation - Unknown
I still do not know for sure if I had any business giving out the kind of advice I did. Some would take what was said as me trying to live through her, or some other nonsense like that. Honestly, I just really don't believe Isra-sensei would be doing anyone any good with her so knee deep in funk town. At the same time, I didn't really think she'd take it. Despite how I look and seem at times, I'm still just a kid on the inside. There's plenty of stuff I'm not familiar with, things I'm uncomfortable with, and things I probably won't make the most mature choice about. But still, I /am/ thankful that she does value my council, if only a little. For the first time in a long while, it made me feel as if was plainly useful.
Tsiro - 12/03/11 A.F.
Dinner did not go down well this evening. My stomach is still a mess after having a bone flower drill plowed through it, not that I should be surprised. I sort of asked for it by not running away while I had the chance, or better yet, just by not having ran around in fully cloaked in broad daylight. I would've been punished for it later, sure, but it may have very well been a better fate then being tested by Tsiro-san. Anything would've been better than it.
Progenitor - Unknown
Peace had been all that I wanted. No more looks. No more rejection. Just peace. Being around Kiji usually filled me up with it, so of course I followed her scent trail without thinking. But it wasn't her I found. Not even close at the end. The thing is, I should've feel terrible about what happened regardless of how things went down, not the opposite. I guess… this is me now. Its not that I ever saw myself as noble or anything. But better? Different? I don't know. I /do/ know that I can't hold on to my doubts, and that Kiji is depending on me.
I won't let her down again.
Backlash - Unknown
There just so many things to do, and so little time to do them lately. If I'm not on a mission or running errands, then I'm training somewhere. The last time I had a moment to breathe, I realized a couple things. First, people watching even while henge isn't quite as entertaining anymore. I can't entirely shake the feel of being watched back, even though I should be used to it now. Then, there's the fact that my fingers have gotten so rough and weird that painting is nearly impossible to do without tripping up in the process. And let's not forget the fact that the canvases aren't lining up like they used to, festival or no festival.
But its not all bad for the most part. Recently, Kokuo has taken an interest in helping me training with his chakra. I guess he finally got over those last two incidents. Or maybe its because of them he's helping me. Either way, the training, though stressful, has been pretty fun and rewarding. It takes a lot of concentration though to manipulate his chakra like he and Mushi-neechan taught me, but I'm getting there. I can at least form these like hands from them, and then hold stuff up or push them away. Haven't quite gotten down the part about not breaking them yet, but its still progress! Plus, I've also been starting to feel less edgy lately too. The 'call' is still there, but I've been able to either tune it our or give in to it without going completely crazy with it. I did wind up laid up at home for a few days however when I screwed up testing out this like.. hybrid form. Surumu-niisan I was lucky I he had been nearby, otherwise I might've wound up in a wheelchair. Permanently. The thought almost put me off of trying again, but Kokuo got insistent about it for some reason. I think in a way he felt what I feel whenever the merge goes right, so you can't fault him for wanting to stretch his legs. I just hope the next time it doesn't cost me my own ones.
Challenge - Unknown
What the heck were you thinking brain?! Me? Spar with Yuriko?! That's almost as bad as me getting a hug from Sei, or worst yet, ASKING for it. Alright, maybe not even that extreme, but I'm still getting used to the idea of sparring with Kiji every now and then. Though the thing is, we haven't been able to do that lately. A part of me has been too scared to. She's been under enough stress with her training with Sorako, and she doesn't need me adding more. Ironically, if she finds out that I've accepted Yuriko as my sparring partner for the upcoming exam, she may flip out anyways. Stupid, stupid, STUPID BRAIN!
Exam Entrance - Unknown
I didn't care much for the idea of joining the exams personally. What would be the point? Even if I do succeed in getting promoted, all it will do is add more pressure on me than I need. But either way, I wasn't getting out of it. Meruin-sensei, Yuriko-chan, SEI, Naoya-san, Tsiro.. -sensei, Isra-sensei… Kiji… Just thinking about what they might say or think hurts something fierce. Yet, to go along with it just because I'm worried about what others may think doesn't feel right as well. Which, I know, is kinda of a weird thing for me to have a problem with now when most of my life has been spent doing everything I can to meet the expectation of others or just plain ol' help out when I can. You know, so that I won't feel like such a burden.
But it is how I feel, and its better to accept that, then trying to hide away from it like I've done with a lot of things. What I haven't quite figured out is what I'm gonna do for the entrance into the exams. I've heard about Kiji, Yuriko, and Naoya's entrances. How they've basically been one up one another with killing bad men. In a way, I'm tempted to try and do the same, though not quite in the same way. I've been able to push out my head most of things I've had to do as a shinobi. Going so far as to hunt someone — several people down just to enter some contest is going a step too far. There's just gotta be another way around all this. Maybe there's something I'm missing?
Primal - Unknown
I'm back again. Mostly. My head still feels a little weird. Thinking is difficult. Staring at this paper is too. I know there's nothing behind or around me, but its hard not looking. I'm so alert I can hear my brothers downstairs. I've always been able to. Its just hasn't been this sharp. I can tell one of them is excited without even needing to hear his voice. Something about his scent, and… something else. I feel as if even if I had not known them so well, I could tell where he is, what he's doing, how he's accomplishing whatever it is he's trying to do, how long he has been there, /what/ his next move will be. I also can measure how easy or difficult it will be to creep up on him and take him down. To feel his life blood leave him as I pin him down and wait for the end to come. Then…
I almost do not stop myself in time. I need air. Fresh air. I need to be around other people. A good amount. Too many for me to get away with an easy kill. Too few to overwhelm my senses. Industry. Mercantile. Some place very civilized. I need to be away from the quiet. As far away as I can get from the call, and the memories, and the needs of a beast.
Kazumi & Rokubi - Unknown
Its been awhile since I last sat down to write anything. Haven’t really felt up to it lately, in all honesty, but I’m back again with quite a story. You see, a little while back I met the other Jinchuuriki of Kirigakure. It took me longer than it should’ve to figure it out though, which I’m still reeling over. That, and the fact that Kazumi’s Bijuu just came right out and blabbed about it. I guess he ain’t under any obligations per se to keep things quiet. Given how Kazumi acts, I ain’t entirely surprised. I’d say the dude has it rougher than most.
I can’t protect him. I don’t even know what to do, but… I wanna help him as much as I can. Weird, I know, but we Jinchuuriki gotta stick together. Right?
Completion & Remembering - Unknown
Turns out, that still wasn't exactly enough. The Ape-Prime were no joke. Perhaps if I had entered that new form at full strength things might've been different, but according to Kokuo-san, not exactly for the best. You see, nothing like what happened has ever been done before, and neither of us really had any control over what happened. It was like, all our rawest instincts to fight and survive had complete run of things, and with that much power behind my – its finger tips, I… I can’t even imagine what would’ve happened if I was closer to Kirigakure and someone came across me.
Disturbing awakenings - Unknown
Something – One beckons us. All of us. If I wasn't still wired from my last nightmare, I might've put it off as nothing more than just that. A nightmare. But nope, folks were way too freaked out for it be just something happening to me. There was really no way to tell if listening to the voice was some sort of test or just another attempt on one of the other genin to thin out the herd. Either way, I didn't listen to it, and went straight back to sleep. If the proctors ask me about it later, well, I think I have a few good excuses up my sleeves
Future & Present - Unknown
He wouldn't stop no matter what I did. Clean hit, lucky it, and he’d /still/ get back up and keep coming. Kokuo-san and that.. other “one” were right. I shouldn’t have engaged him again. It was dumb and downright suicidal. Don’t change the fact that I still had to try. I mean, how hard could it be? I’m fighting myself. At most I expected it to take a long time just because of how tough I am. But this guy? No, no, no. We’re talking a man out to end it within seconds. I barely lasted five minutes against myself. Er, well, not myself myself, but something that looked kind of like me. That is if I was basically some walking zombie out to kill whatever got within weapons reach of me.
I learned more than one lesson that day.. dream.. thing. I can’t lower my guard in the future, or at least, I can’t let Kirigakure break me. Not that I was going to, but fighting that ‘thing’ really drove it home. If I falter even once from now on, I won’t be me anymore. I’ll just be this thing waiting for orders, living for no other purpose then to do as requested. Alone, and wanted for no other purpose, because the things I lived for are all gone. At least… that’s what I saw when I looked into his eyes.
It's Been Awhile - Unknown
My head is really killing me right now, so there's not much of a chance that everything that needs to get put down will make it. Tough as a nut that I am, even I have limits to my endurance. Suppose the most important things are these:
Survived the Chuunin Exams, and found myself promoted. Go figure.
Entered the Steel Soul Tourney, though I can't say I did all too well.
Kokuo and I are still not exactly friends, but with Meruin's assistance, putting that last incident behind us might be possible now.
And oh yeah, the very people that are supposed to be Kiji's family had the nerve to go a step too far.
There's just so much more that I got to say. That I want to for once, in fact, but that's about all I can manage today. Maybe some other time I won't feel like stabbing myself in the brain just to put an end to this headache.
A Wild Yuriko Appears - Unknown
Yuriko has been away from the village for a long time. Too long, in fact, though at the time I tried not to think about it too heavily. There's been a lot going on. That's not really a good enough excuse, nor should I be trying to make any up. I think… real friends don't do that.
It took me awhile to track her down, but I lucked out somehow. Or my instincts have gotten sharper. Either way, she was in the Black Forest section of the Bloody Marshes taking care of something. Honestly, I still don't fully understand it myself. What she said was happening however kind of reminded me of what happened to me the last time I was in the Blood Marshes, only more… drawn out. If I hadn't made the mistake I made back then I probably would've at least been able to work through it with her, or at least better understand the feeling. But that's not the case, so I'm not going to dwell on it too much.
I left her with a change of clothes (which led to another argument that I'm not going to get into), and a promise. One that I have no intention of letting it broken. Not this time. Even if it only helps things a little, I owe her that much at least.
First Breath - 6-7-13
With Akane's assistance and Kokuo's help, signs of improvement are starting to show more and more now. It's gotten to the point I don't even need to worry about going to either of them to keep up the practice itself, though I think it'll be awhile before all I'm doing is breathing smoke. Maybe taking a step back and learning some proper ninjutsu is in order? Can't exactly hurt at this point.
Kiji the Okumo… - 6-13-13
Where do I even begin? The beginning would be nice, but getting riled up any further is bound to lead to a lot of things in this room finding themselves in places they have no business being. Like in a wall, maybe, or even in the next skull of an Okumo I come across.
Yes, I know I'm letting the situation get way too under my skin. How can I not!? Without so much as giving me a real, honest warning at least, Sei, Kiji, Naoya, and probably even Yuriko went behind my back and had Kiji adopted into the Okumo Clan for protection against any future moves by the Shimizu. Again, don't get me wrong. I know it isn't even my place to complain about this, and I /know/ its the best possible move now (and possibly forever) for her overall. The Okumo aren't exactly the most normal of families, and it isn't as if they didn't practically raise her anyways.
Despite knowing all of this, why does my chest still hurt? Why do I still feel so angry? They even went as far as to help me get a crack at anyone that step out of line with Kiji in the future. None of what they've done has been out of spite, and…
I'm done. I can't do this tonight.
Kiyoshi's Thoughts & Notes
"There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of things to hope for these days. Even so, I ain't exactly just gonna lie down and give up. Corpses tend to be greater burdens then kids are. Know what I mean?"
Even if he doesn't seem like the sharpest tool in the shed at times — especially given how easily he forgets peoples name — Kiyoshi is attentive in his own little way. He is a thinker and generally mellow by nature, so he can typically be trusted to be the cool head in otherwise hostile situations. There are of course exceptions…
Kiyoshi's Thoughts & Notes
"You want our best? Fine. But only one of us is going to live to regret it."
This song is the embodiment of the point being reached in which all other paths — self-deceptions of the ego — have been forsaken; leaving only the one in which Kiyoshi must acknowledge the demon within as more than just a prisoner.
Kiyoshi's Thoughts & Notes
"Look what you've done… Now my blood is boiling."
A song that's self-explanatory.
Kiyoshi's Thoughts & Notes
"Ready or Not…"
A song to represent the more aggressive Kirryu instincts taking over.
Kiyoshi's Thoughts & Notes
"If only things would stay this simple…"
Self-explanatory song. Also, Kudos to Yuriko for finding it.
Kiyoshi's Thoughts & Notes
"If they want me on their side, then they can have me. But I won't be broken to fit their ideals. I'm Kirryu Yoshi, and I won't let my brother down by letting any one of them do to me what they did to him."