"Go'en ahead 'nd get back up. I dare ya!"
|Birthplace||Land of Water|
|Birthdate||January 1st, - 6 B.F.|
|Areas of Expertise||Taijutsu, Scouting, Teaching|
|Ninja Position||Head Instructor|
|Academy Grad. Age||11|
|Chuunin Prom. Age||12|
|Caretaker/Sensei||Ren no Tsuki|
Rise is a martial artist — a fighter at her core, and a powerful one in her own right. Whereas most of her origin is a fragmented mystery even to her, at present she remains infamous as Kumogakure most temperamental, obstinate, and (in some circles) most terrifying shinobi. Despite most of her short comings, Rise rarely fails to pull her act together whenever it counts.
Amano Cho was born in Fukuharu, a village on a relatively small, unnamed island towards the southern-eastern end of the Land of Water, and if not for a few seconds, she would have been a member of the main family. Instead, her sister would have that honor, while she fell under the Branch family as tradition dictated. She was a wild child, ever seeking new things to get in to while bearing a strong will to overcome any obstacle in her path. Though the latter was a desirable trait to a degree, its raw state could not be tolerated by the rest of the clan. Her training commenced at the age of five, a year earlier than what was considered the normal standards by the clan.
Besides the usual courses expected for a shinobi in training, she was also expected to endure clans rigorous mental and physical conditioning regiment in addition to severe disciple and drilling. In essence, members of the branch family were trained in much the same way as the Touketsu, but with a few variances. Once unmade, the trainee would then be built up to serve an individual within the main family. By the end five years she was expected to be blindingly loyal, capable of serving whatever needs or desires asked of her by her charge, and if by some misfortune fail at the task, keep herself safe long enough for the "rebirth" process to complete itself.
Several generations ago, the founders of the clan sought after immortality. The fruits of their labor resulted in a series of seals that would transfer one's consciousness into another bearing the correct seal formula upon their back over a short period of time in the event of death. Overtime the formula was refined to the point that only the main branch family truly benefited from the seals. When combined with training each member of the branch family was expected to undergo at an early age, either the consciousness of the main branch family member would take over completely, or only knowledge in possession of the branch member would be transferred over without whatever potential emotional or psyche related baggage accompanying it.
It would be three years before her mind became pliable enough to undergo the sealing ceremony with her sister, Eiko, her charge. Before the ceremony could be properly completed, the compound in which the Amano came under attack from both within and without. Those that retained a strong enough spark of independence — such as their mother, Hiroko — had allied themselves with Kirigakure for a coup de tat. Although the confusion provided the means to save one of her daughters, the other along with their father escaped, though not without a parting gift. The seal was completed and activated. Using her limited understanding of the seal formula and the aid of one of the Kirigakure shinobi, Hiroko was able to have Cho's life spared. Unfortunately, the process was not fully halted in time, and yielded an unexpected result. With one child lost to her, and another doomed to suffer a blending of minds that may or may not have resulted in a more dire consequences in the long run, Hiroko had Cho's memories manipulated one last time before leaving her in the care of her closest ally within Kirigakure's forces.
Cho would later awaken in the Land of Fire remembering enough snippets to conclude that she was alone in the world after having avenged her parents, but without any idea as to her own name. The only survivor of her clan coerced into accompanying a 'mercenary' by the name of Ren no Tsuki. Without much hesitation, Cho chose to go by the name 'Rise Shirokiri' to continually remind her of her desire to never allow herself to be vulnerable again.
Due to the remnants of the last war breaking out in her homeland, Rise gained her first insight of the horrors of hatred at the age of eight. It's cost: Her parents life and the lose of a good portion of her childhood in exchange for a temporary partial release of the first Chakra Gate through the use of limited training from her parents in the ninja art and desperation (The same which nearly destroyed her body). The immediate result was her first kill of one who was apart of the group that ended her parents life before succumbing to exhaustion. When next she awoken Rise was already on the back of a Ronin, going by he name of Ren, who joined the battle under orders of one who would later become the first Mizukage ,but left midway out of both compassion and curiosity of seeing one so young using the gates. As soon as she recovered, rise repeatedly attempted to escape from the him to begin her search of attaining power so that she may never be forced to sit helplessly or fall so easily.
Unluckily yet luckily for her, Ren refused to allow her to blindly seek out her hearts greatest wish, but instead under his tutelage she would gain the next best thing…how to control and harness what she already had.
In time however, the Ronin finally settled in the newly developing Kumogakure and enlisted them into Kumo's militia to obtain a margin of protection from his previous employer along with advancing her training under a more structured environment. However, after spending so much time only around only one person after her parents death, Rise could only see her peers as nothing but either useless sheep that needed to be cuddled or cut down before they eventually failed in the future. At least in her own opinion. And inevitably when these opinions were voiced in frustration, the already critical attitude of her teachers openly had for her on account of her newness to the country, only grew towards malevolence. Thus in response to their subtle and indirect attempts at making her time in the academy harder than what it needed to be, Rise pushed herself to excel in spite of them while wearing a “mask” of the 'bratty brute' to hide true feelings. Even from her caretaker.
During her time spent in the academy, Rise learned to best compensate for her weakness when it came to Ninjutsu and Genjutsu (Most of the problem because of her naturally erratic chakra), She began developing a Taijutsu style that would best emulate it. In this instance, the destructive dance known as Capoeira, that thrived within her; and with near constant training improved her knack for Taijutsu and stamina reserves to keep it going. It is also her personal preference and through the lack of any basic training in the ninja arts prior to entering the academy that rise pushes away any thoughts of mastering the basic Ninjutsu unless/until its necessary to graduate from the academy.
Due to Rise's own increasing irritability with fluctuating sensei's native to Kumo, lack of genuine progress, and overall frustrations of being approved for little more than D-rank missions on account of her lacking an official team to be a part of, the young Shirokiri was eventually approached by her caretaker to undergo a series of training trips, officially labeled as a special b-rank mission, in other lands. It is during the first leg of her trip to Fuuma Valley that she met one Shippodoku, Keiji. A genin from Sunagakure who would later become Rise's training partner of sorts. Although it still took convincing her guardian to take a detour first. Before even the first half of the training trip could conclude word about the first ever 'worldwide' promotion exams prompted her return to Kumogakure to learn more. Even after acquiring the details and completing the written portion of the exams Rise remained hesitant in actually turning it in. Prior experience with the world ninja competition the year before left her still unconvinced that her current skill level would be enough. Ren's insistence that she use the chuunin exams as another way to gather more experience eventually lead to the young Shirokiri sending in the letter. As luck would have it, Rise was one of a few shinobi from Kumogakure selected to participate in the survival round of the promotion exams.
An unfortunate but nevertheless secondary result of her late admission quickly became clear in the form of preparation for the survival portion of the exam being restricted to whatever could be managed in route to Sunagakure. Out of stubbornness, pride, and spite Rise chose to endure this round alone instead of agreeing to team-up with a former bully. She remained true to this path even once it was announced the objective of the exams was to obtain a scroll from another person inside while being locked within a network of caverns and tunnels along other examinees hoping to be promoted for a few days with nothing except what was inside the caverns and brought in beforehand to 'rely' on. Although Rise never lost her scroll the trials faced within Shuuren caverns forced her to accept defeat once more at the hands Kaguya Kibushi, ward off an odd pair of Konoha shinobi, Mizuru and Naoki, and ultimately begin the process of re-learning to endure and adapt to unfamiliar situations. Despite the cost requiring that she swallowed her pride and ignore instinctual distrust in others. In following through with the later, Rise was able to obtain her second scroll by assisting Eremi in defeating Goro, a giant sentient cavern spider that had been devouring (scroll and all) examines.
After this event Rise bid farewell to Eremi after both obtained a scroll from the over-sized critter before it slinked away to nurse its wounds, then returned to one of the entrances of Shuuren Cavern to wait out the rest of the exams. Impatience and the need to satisfy her body's desires eventually drove Rise to explore nearby tunnels. In doing so several new faces, Hitoshi Taniguchi, Yuuka Kaguya, and Sabaku no Hana, as well as Keiji Shippodoku's familiar form, all of which were more willing to talk over needless bloodshed at the time; especially since they had all already gained their own second scroll. Success with Eremi did not eliminate Rise's distrust in others. Thus she did not linger for very long.
Even upon finally leaving the survival round of the promotion exams and being given some time to rest in peace, Rise strived to improve as much as possible before the third part of the exams began; a straight-forward tournament style round that revealed the return of the barriers implemented during the World Ninja Competition. Unfortunately, Rise was defeated during the first round in a one-sided fight against none other than Sabaku no Hana. Despite this setback she persevered in waiting out the results for the chuunin exams by finally giving her body time to recover. In time Rise even challenged Eremi along with Naru to an exhibition match during the wait. However, a mix-up in delivering the challenge ultimately lead to a one on one taijutsu match-up that lead to Rise's resolve being renewed once more and a promise being made.
During the following day the final announcements for the promotion exams revealed Rise’s promotion…
Note on background: Information in the tabs "Origins" is all stuff that only those mentioned within the entries would possibly be familiar with, but no one else, unless they actually investigate the information. Information in "Rise's Beginnings" & "Chuunin Exams" would be information known to those in Kumogakure, but likely no where else unless investigated. If you wish to ICly learn information from one of these segments, you will need to acquire that information from Rise herself.
In the past Rise proved to be antisocial and potentially suicidal martial artist because of her sometimes extremist methods of training and protecting herself. Within two years of being an active Kumogakure shinobi the vast majority of animosity and nurtured outside of the village's walls is refocused purely onto non-living targets that would assist in her becoming a better, more reliable shinobi. Naturally, a few of her old traits still remained. Such as her stubbornness when it comes to all forms of her confrontation, blunt way of speaking and only a “mild” lack of respect for authority figures unless earned in her eyes. She is also strong-willed and determined, not one to lose or give up in a fight easily. The unfortunate side effects of the life style she grew up with before coming to Kumogakure still remain, and in the form an attitude that suppressed her more peace-minded ideals.
With the exception of a few pranks throughout the village and 'incidentally' gaining the reputation for being a berserker she never actively sought rising in the ranks or attention. Her main goal ever since being found by her foster father was to remain loyal to the path that would make her strong enough to not require the help of others. However, following her promotion to chuunin after the first ever worldwide promotion exams, Rise's lone wolf mentality was suppressed for the sake of proving herself worthy of the position and guiding others. In this way she could assuage the guilt born from obtaining a position others for so long have worked hard at obtaining.
|Key Traits||Intuitive, Protective, Stubborn, Loner|
|Likes||Fighting, Muscles, Intense training regimes, cramped spaces|
|Dislikes||Politics (heavily), Self, Asking for help, Fear|
|Favorite Food||Yagi-oni Burgers|
|Sense of Humor||Aggressive, Morbid|
|Pastimes||Training, Hiking, Hunting, Gambling, Thrill Seeking|
- Lightning Bruiser
- Muscles Are Meaningless
- Action Girl
- Cute Bruiser
- Neutral Good
|Eyes||Heterochromatic (LE: Red, RE: Forest Green|
|Hair||Black w/t Blue Streaks|
|Body||Muscular; 5'3" tall, 132lbs|
|Upper Body Clothing||Camouflage Jacket, sleeveless black shirt, ninja-mesh undershirt|
|Lower Body Clothing||Tapered, black pants|
|Feet||Black sandals w/t slightly raised heels|
|Equipment||Combat Knife, soldier pills, basic shinobi equipment, head guard (not usually worn)|
|Tattoos||Archaic symbol inscribed towards the center of shoulder plates|
Rise stands before you at an astonishing 5'3" for a child her age with ghostly pale white skin tone virtually blemish free except along her back, forearms, and knuckles. Her right arm and right side of her face is also marred, though her current choice of style typically keeps such hidden. Years spent pushing her body to the limit has left the flesh upon it looking scarred and torn despite given time enough to heal. The same could be said of the severe burn scars overlapping most of her right arm, right side of her neck, back, and portions of the right half of her face, giving it all a waxy appearance.
There's also a strange, archaic, circular kanji seems branded more than tattooed onto the same space much Rise's shoulder plates occupy. Her hair is smooth and black yet naturally streaked midnight blue, and is cut in such a way to just be barely shoulder length while roughly framing the girl's well rounded face. Hetero-chromatic eyes (Left Eye: Forest Green, Right Eye: Blood Red) lie partially shadowed beneath roughly cut bangs, and never seem to linger on one object or another for long, hinting at heightened levels of paranoia in the girl, if not a predisposition for tracking fast paced movements. Her teeth is the last most notable feature on Rise, for like many of those who dwell in the Land of Water, they bear in shape a resemblance to that of a shark's own.
In regards to Rise's typical wardrobe and accessories, Rise has turned to wearing a double layer of clothing. Most likely if speculated by another, to hide a body comprised of clearly defined muscles hidden initially beneath only by a snug nin-mesh anti-slash armor top overlapped by sleeveless, black shirt, and white fighters gauze wrapped from just below elbows all the way down to her knuckles. A cloud camo, long sleeve jacket with dark brown fur lining the collar and a hood. Simple black pants tapered down close to the ankles covers her legs. A back pouch with all her ninja needs (though in shorter supply compared to most shinobi) is strapped to a dark grey leather belt. A black clothed headband announcing her loyalty to Kumogakure is loosely tied around her neck, and black ninja sandals with slightly raised heel adorn her feet. Aside from the basic shinobi weapons kept within her back pouch, Rise also sports three separate types of knives on her person. A combat knife kept sheathed and strapped to her left side on her belt, her father's hunting knife on the opposing side, and an almost needle thin knife secreted away within a hidden compartment in Rise's shoes.
|Raili||Sensei #3||I think I'mma gonna like this new sensei they slapped me with this time. She's kinda funny, a bit weird looking, over-dramatic, stubborn, in your face type of…. Ya know what I'll stop there cuz I think I'm goin down a road I don even wanna think about!|
|Mitsuomi||Unknown||I don really know anything bout this guy 'cept the fact that I think Hoii-kun is his student and uh… he's really, really, REALLY buff. Plus a couple of otha stuff that I don really trust since their rumors n'all. The bad kind.|
|Maia||Sensei #1||Although she's the first person to ever really bother to even try to help me get better at bein a shinobi, I still don known much bout Maia-sensei. And at this rate I may never really get the chance to too, cuz I heard 's run off somewhere. I, could be wrong?|
|Setsiro||Sensei #2||There's not a whole lot I can say about Setsiro-sama 'cept… I dunno, I really wish she hadn't run off to. Cuz, she's a really cool teacher.|
|Ogosokamaru||Nidaime Raikage||Can't say I liked this new kage, but he has my respect at least. He didn't take my crap from the get go and — tho' I loathe to admit it — gave me more than just a little to think about for awhile. Thing is, that little bit might've mean us parting on a bad note or worse for good. But now that Hiei's in charge? Hmm… Maybe things will change. Maybe they won't.|
|Hiei||Sandaime Raikage||I gotta say this guy sure can go from zero to sixty pretty darn quickly. And they call /me/ wild! Still, he did have his reasons and it ain't like I helped matters much that one time and all. Ugh… n' ewayz, as far as peeps I wish to surpass one day, he's at the top of my list as far as Kumo folk go. Don't change the fact that he could probably take a chill pill every once in awhile. At least that's what I thought at first, but now that he's the new Raikage, its seems as if he's mellowed out a bit. Weird…|
|Michiko||Kage Kage||A swear, sometimes this girl is just such a busy body! I know its practically her job 'n all being the 'Head Ninja' (among other things), yet she just so dang frustrating at times! I still hate her a little for what she 'nd the old man did to me too, but… I know she was just trying to help. Can't remember where she got this "friend" nonsense though, which might explain a few things. N-not that I don't like the sentiment that badly, but…|
|Hoiishime||Friend||He is a monk. His overly friendly. And… a vewy good 'nd understanding punching bag. <3~ Still mad at him for up and disappearing on me though.|
|Hiroyasu||Bothersome Ally||I don't like this guy all that much. I mean, there are those times that I do and those times were I'm like 'meh', but most of the time, grrr! He's like a bald, male, logic bound amani! Oh kami-sama, gonna have to scrub my brain after that one! And also figure out how to stop myself from mistaking him for Hoiishime all those times too…|
|Nariko||Ally||She's a nice girl 'n all, but for the time being, I'm gonna have to keep her at arms length if even that. I already managed to get on one infamous Yotsuki's bad side, so no need get on another by being me… Not that I can really tell which me this 'me' is anymore…|
|Naru||Friend/Rival||It's been ages since we last met and fought, but I still see her as a rival. If she's anything like Tsiro-san tho' — which from what I've heard its more than likely — it'll be a long while yet before I can stand toe to toe with her again. Mmm… In fact, I think I'll hold off on any reunions till I can. Nothing says rekindling like a life-or-death spar!! Heheh.. heh…|
|Ren||Otou-sama||I owe him a lot, rather I like it or not. And… and though I appreciate er'rething his done for me, I can't help but believe my path lies elsewhere. Maybe someday he'll understand or maybe its too soon to go thinking these things when there's still a lot I could and have learned from him but… I can't sit on my hands forever. That's just now how I am or how he knows me to be. I just hope that whatever happens, he'll be alright…|
|Kynshin||Ex||"I took one of the best things to happen in my life… and threw it away. He won't ever forgive me, ore at least I hope he doesn't. What I did was beyond wrong, so even if he did… I can't forgive myself. I won't… not ever. But I guess if were to be more honest, I hate myself too much to try or think of doing so. This is what I thought for a long time, but seeing him… This whole love buisness sucks."|
|Miyo||Friend||She's weird and entertaining all at once. She's also, next to Amani that is, the only one I can call purely my friend and nothing more. Well, I mean, there's technically more here and there, but I can't go down that route. 'specially not with how I am now.|
|Takeda||Kage-kun||This guy kinda reminds me of Keiji-kun sometimes. Only, you know, friendlier and less focused on big dreams. If he talked more he probably wouldn't be such a bad guy to hang around without worrying bout certain things. Just, overall this guy is okay I guess. I haven't seen him around lately though, which is… kind of worrying. c_c|
|Amani||Best Friend?||All I know is that its nice having someone just as wild as me causing havoc wherever we go… though I sometimes I can't help but wonder if that is really something that make people friends. She's also now 'officially' my superior too so… *grumbles*|
|Akane||Kindred||"It is almost scary how much alike we are, yet different in so many other ways. Which is why it was prolly for the best we went are separate ways. N-not that I'm say'n I don't see her as a friend no more. Just that.. well…"|
|Hiroshi||Something Else||"I don't think about him nearly as much as I used to, but I haven't forgotten the impact he's made on my life. In a way, he's the one of the few things keep'n me sane as of late, his words reminding me every time I'm feel'n low how I should pick myself back up again. Doesn't always help mind'ju, but its better than nothing at all."|
|Eremi||Lion-baka/Sensei?||I want to blame er'rething on'im. I really do. But it ain't that easy… or won't be for me at least. He's put up with my sxxx and even went on to help me out with my own issues. But what do I do? I played the fickle cat for one, then the cowardly bxxx afterwards. And now… I just hope that /when/ we meet again, I'll be able to make up for it all at this point. Its about the only thing I can honestly say that I'm really hopeful for these days.|
|Arashi||Mr. Friendly||"So annoying, and not in a good way. I mean, why the heck does he have to remind me of /him/ of all people. Its not as if he's even interested in me like that! But, he's always going out of his way to be understanding and er'reting. I… I don't get it.|
|Yori||The Tacticiain||He's an alright kid, if a little green. And yeah, I know, that ain't much of a compliment, and I might be channeling my "inner rage" over another upstart basically leaving me in the dust. So sue me! Because seriously, where were these guys when I was growing up!? Just out of the freaking wood work, and just… *grumbles*|
|Sekisetsu||Arch Rival||And here I thought the girls back at the academy were malicious and bratty, but this girl REALLY took the cake AND the backery along with it! Still, it's been so long since we last met that even /I/ can't help but worry that all those wars between Kiri and Konoha might've — still! Even if something /did/ happen, it ain't like we won't see each other again. One way or another…|
|Tsiro||Peerless Rival||Calling this guy my rival is kind of a joke. He hardly acknowledged me except the one time, and after losing so quickly after last time… I don't want to say I give up. Even now I just want to for once — JUST ONCE kick his teeth in, and make him come chasing me. N-not like that! Or… I… Ugghh! I hate this guy!|
|Kibushi||Nemesis||There's not much I even know about this man except that he's beaten me, effortless and thoroughly despite EVERYTHING I tried during the war against Kiri and Konoha second coming…. If I ever see him, If I ever get the chance too… I'm gonna return the favor.|
|Hittokage & Co.||Nemesis||"Sometimes… I can still hear its whispers in the back of my mind, clawing for my attention whenever things get too quiet, or while I'm asleep. So yeah, if I ever do get another shot at this thing I'm gonna show him just how much I appreciate that.."|
|Eiko||Nemesis||"I have nothing to say about her. Period."|
Age 8: Rise has her first near death experience at the expense of her parent's lives.
Age 8: Rise comes under the protection and care of wandering mercenary and begins training in the arts of shinobi.
Age 9: Rise and her sensei/father figure enlist under kumogakure's militia for a more stable life style.
Age 11: Rise graduates from the academy.
Age 12: Rise is promoted to Chuunin and becomes the official team leader of Team Four; consisting of Amani and Takeda Yamayuki.
Age 14: Rise participates in the Jounin Promotion Exams.
Age 15: Rise disbands Team Four and retires officially from Kumogakure.
Age 15: Rise undergoes Chakra Gate training under the nuke-nin, Satonezu Eremi.
Age 16: Rise returns to Kumogakure as a shinobi under genin probation.
Age 17: Rise aided in reclaiming Tea Country for the entity known as the Hittokage.
Age 18: Rise aided in the defeat of 'The Silence' and one of the groups masterminds, "Yuuma".
Age 20: Promoted to Chuunin Academy Instructor.
Age 22: Promoted to Head Instructor.
Date with the Doctor - Unknown
It didn't work out, not that I had much hope for it. Things just don't work out that easily for me. Not that I didn't appreciate Kenta's (can't believe I forgot about this guy) efforts, and its not that we didn't get any clues on what to do next. And now, we have to figure out how were gonna get a hold of my — her mother. Kirigakure and Kumogakure aren't exactly enemies at the moment, but I doubt they'll let just look around their lands all willy nilly. Heck, they'll probably even 'suggest' having their own experts take a look at the so called problem.
If there's one thing I know, it is that I'm /not/ letting those bastards touch me again. While I may have accepted being crippled for life, it doesn't change the fact that they pretty much flubbed the operation in the first place. But what do I know? Maybe there was something else to it. Like, I don't know, those 'upgrades' otou-baka mentioned might've interfered with the operation, I guess. Either way, I ain't taking chances, and… honestly, I don't want to run into 'him' again.
So, I cried - Unknown
Can't freaking believe I did it again. What is wrong with me!? Is it just that dang difficult for me to keep it together? It wasn't even that big of a deal! They didn't need to see that side of me. I don't need or /want/ their pity! I just —
I'm so tired of all this. I really am. After all this time, I just don't want to deal with any of this anymore. Everything I am — Everything I was — all of it has either been stripped from me, or proven to be just another an illusion. So, I'm done. I'm not breaking down like that again. Noone will ever see me cry again, or try to look for another way. Cho can have this — her body back. Even if she doesn't want it anymore.
Field Trip - Unknown
When Michiko said we were gonna get help from this Kenta guy, I didn't exactly expect her to have us go on a field trip to Konoha. I mean, I know that's where he lives and all, but couldn't he just as easily have come to Kumogakure. Well, maybe not that. If he is any good at whatever it is he does, then I guess he's a pretty hot item in his village.
This doesn't make me feel any more comfortable with the idea of going through all this, because I know he can't just be doing this out of the kindness of his heart. Leafers may have the tendency to be soft, but that don't mean they ain't capable of being opportunistic, ya know? But why am I even complaining? Soon, this will be all over for me if were lucky enough.
Maybe I'll even get to see Eremi again…
No luck - Unknown
Looks like its back to Kumogakure with Michiko and the gang. Offiicially, anyways, though that's not why I bothered writing tonight. A little while ago I met this kid, Daichi, I think it was. Seems he is Eremi's new student! At least that's pretty much the impression I got out of our meeting, not that he didn't confirm it anyways. The kid is… still very much a kid, so saying he's got potential or any of that other nonsense might be jumping the gun a little. Still, If there's even a chance that — I'm getting off track again. Long story short, he was supposed to get into contact with Eremi for him. So, either he forgot, or Eremi decided to avoid me.
I guess regardless of what the case might be, it looks like that's another thing I'm gonna have to live with not being able to fix.
Decisions, Decisions - Unknown
Lately there's been a lot on my mind, what with Goh-sensei's offer, Exams supposedly start'n up, 'nd a whole mess of other crap that I don't even wanna get into right now! SO, even if it means admitting that Otou-baka was right bout stuff like this — not that i'm sure bout this kinda stuff still — I'm gonna start take'n this more seriously for now. Now before I get all off topic again I'll get to the point of this whole thing.
Around a month ago this weird pickled veggie salesman showed up in Kumogakure to sale his wares. Naturally I did'n believe a word he said becuz really, what kinda of sane merchant actually travels around sell'n stuff like that? Last I check, neither sunagakure NOR konohagakure had anything like that goin on so, yeah, its only natural to be suspicious of someone like that. Since I was already in a bit of trouble after another incident with get'n rid of some bully goats (which I'll get to later if I feel like it) I couldn't outright do anything about him. I DID on the other hand keep an eye on him while he was stay'n in the village still. Though I have to admit, that slippery salesman managed to get away a few times so I can't say for sure if he was really up to somethin bad or not truth be told. And without evidence, well…
That stuff still ain't really important though so I'll just move on now by saying, writing, what-ever (e.e) that after giving up the spy gig I started to hang around the beaches closest to the docks where boats sometime had to sail off to the Land of Water, and by extension, Kirigakure, all becuz I figured that's where he'd be head'n next. Plus, being there, or should I say here ;) helps me think sometimes. Clear all that other junk out for a while. I mostly ended up spending whatever free-time I had here think'n bout an offer he made when he got lost after our second direct meeting. Somethin bout being sala-blooded and traveling the world as his apprentice, unbound to any place. Kinda like how things was until Otou-sabaka decided to have us move to Kumogakure.
I really just dunno.
Jounin Exams Pt.1 - Unknown
I still can’t believe I decided to chicken out of travel’n with Goh-sensei by taking the upcoming Jounin Exams. I mean, it wasn’t like he wasn’t plan’n on head’n to Kiri in the first place and it’s not like I’m gonna get my shot at that Kaguya again this way either. Am I really that scared about hitting the road again? Without Otou-san? As if! In fact, I think when my body automatically leaped upon that messenger and practically strangled him about find out more about the exams it knew that we needed one last test, once and for all, to find out rather or not leave Kumo for good without dragging Goh-sensei down. PLUS, I wanna see if I can kick that Kaguya’s face in –without- get’n a lecture about it later. X3 With that all aside though all I got left to put down is this: Written Tests Suck. They suck, they suck, they suck, they suck, they SUCK!!!
Jounin Exams Pt.2 - Unknown
Okay, even I gotta admit that my answers to those silly questions that gave us weren’t exactly the best and I probably should’ve just resigned as soon as the courier let me know the good news. I didn’t of course cuz that would be a stupid thing to do. PLUS it’d give me more time to really think about my little training issues and whatnot. Although in hindsight it would have probably been better to have just agreed and been gone instead of trying to work out all these reminders, WHILE trying to stay alive during the survival portion of the exams. But whatever, I’ll manage it all somehow.
Jounin Examps Pt.3 - Unknown
So, here I am, laying in a hospital bed again with nothing else to do except to try and not claw my own eyes out of boredom. Not that I could mind ya thanks to a certain red headed demon I met, but still, not like the option is there either. But I'm get'n a little carried again ain't I? Well, to start while I've managed to survive (which I'm putting mildly by the way) the first few days of the second portion of the exams, it didn't come without a price. Heck, right on the first day (or was it the second? Kinda hard to remember now..) I took a chance with exploring this one cave with a river flow'n out of its mouth. Ya know, cuz I figured if nothing else it'd make a good ambush point if someone tried to poison the water like that last jackass did last year. But n'eway, there I was, wondering into the cave with a torch in hand (still gotta thank otou-san now that I think about) when I spotted something strange ahead. Naturally I'm think'n if ain't that one guy then its probably more those monsters they released last year! So yeah, trusty but-not-so-rusty was out in a flash in my free hand just incase the thing decided to charge me. As things turned out however it was just one of the otha jounin exam participants who called himself Daichi. No, wait, it was Dai-SUke. 'nd after a bit of small talk bout the weather and what not (kidding o'course) he either challenged me for my scroll or just asked me. Kinda fuzzy on the details truth be told, but oi, whad'ja es'pect? Everything after that happened after that was so fast (and more interesting by the way!) that its hard to think about anything else before that ya know? I mean, what can ya say is more likely to pop out: small talk with some random leafer or getting broiled by a four tailed monkey demon thing?
Anyone dumb enough to say that the former would'a stand out aught to get their head checked. Immediatly! Anyway Crap, pain meds are starting to fade again so I'll have to finish this later.
Jounin Examps Pt.4 - Unknown
By the time I finally recovered, the exams were all but over at that point. Did'n me I did'n keep up the hunt for the scrolls or even thought bout quit'n. Would'n be able to look at myself in the mirror if i'd done that. Not that I do that all that often n'ewayz cuz, ya know, then I'd end up running that risk of act'n like those bimbos back home! 'nd I ain't for that! That all aside though, as soon as I recovered I snuck out before Goh-sensei or the doc could catch me awake. It would have been too risky otherwise. Although my reason being for one was waaaay different then the other 'nd a take too long to 'splain right now. Maybe next time?
More importantly I'm gonna admit here (since I dang sure I ain't gonna admit this to any outloud) that I need my eyes checked… And anger managment. NOT that thingz won't work out if I went with out both for the rest of my life, cuz c'mon, even I ain't weak enough to keep goin the way I am without picking up a few things to help me manage things betta. Manage myself. AND while I'm not gonna 'splain this late (as I said before), ya know, this whole thing to Goh-sensei (though he'd probably figure out eventually n'ewayz) I kinda figured travel'n with him might just put me on the right path to learning how to manage 'things' betta. If not? Then, well, oh well. At least I bothered to try reather than get stuck in the past.
Jounin Examps Pt.5 - Unknown
So yeah, I just realized I did'n go into all that much details bout what happened before the second round of the promo exams started (which I somehow managed to get in), so that's what I'll be goin into here. I guess. I mean it'll be betta if I do that now n'ewayz while its still kinda fresh in my head. And as a bonus it'll probably help me tune out those Kaguya's lecture. Annoying, Arrogant, Bi- Right, gotta focus. Long story short, after having near 80% (more or less) of my body roasted while in the grip of a monkey demon in human skin, THEN end up stuck in some kind of makeshift hospital within the exam area one scroll less than before, needless to say I needed to vent pretty bad. Real bad. The kind of bad where ya make the mistake of seeing and treating an 'ol sparring partner as, well, the source of badness that needed stomping out something fierce and without restraint. Fuuta did'n deserved that. Not a bit. And yeah, with my head clearer I do feel kind of bad bout; especially since from I recall about the amount of blood around plus the once sweet but now bitter sound of bones fracturing, things really did get out of hand for an attempt at capturing another scroll.
Jounin Examps Pt.6 - Unknown
It was unprofessional, immature, and probably screwed up any chances of me get'n promoted. Not that I probably already did'n sabotage myself enough after how I acted during the whole first round of the final half of the promo exam, AND not to mention FAILING to nab another scroll before the time limit was up on the middle half. Even so, there was no way in hell I was gonna be able to focus n'ewayz after Goh-sensei passed out in the middle of referring MY match against Ema. Or Era? Whatever! Point is I should've just asked that we postponed the damn thing in the first place but… BAH! Not gonna go there. Not now and probably not for a long time too. I'm just gonna say that before I close this thing up for the night is I don't regret running out of the arena like that and throwing away what might be my last shot at proving that I ain't just some reckless, hyperactive, hot-headed little squirt to those back at home.
Return to Kumo - Unknown
But kenny on the otherhand actually wanted to talk about… me. And I ain't talk'n bout surface 'n shallow stuff like 'oh, nice hair' or 'look'n fine baby' or 'Ya little b. Nope. I'm talk'n bout the deeper stuff. Specifically about my hang up with Kumogakure somehow (probably leading off the "wierd" look I gave him) and why I left. When it comes to personal stuff like that I'dove normally just got up 'n walked away or brushed it off with something vague, throw in a glare, and then from there things would be done. But this guy was persistant. Not in annoying way, but still… stubborn bout wanting to know more. I think at most — and this is just for a split second — I wanted to clock him one for digging more into the whys and how of this here Shirokiri Rise. Once that second pass however I did'n feel any of that. Just suprised and I'll admit even confused; 'specially cuz of how understanding he was about it all. I just don't understand why though. I can't understand it. But I was — am just too curious to just brush these odd feelings about this fella out of my mind. So yeah, maybe I will regret rushing into agreeing with letting him join me and Goh-sensei (should he agree) on our journey, but until then I don't care. I don't like feeling so unstable like this. Not without knowing why first.
All Caught Up - Unknown
These past few months have been the best ones of my entire life. Sure, there's been a lot of ups and downs along the way, and yeah, I kind of signed up for it all by leaving Kumogakure. Don't mean I can't regret… Nor are any of my regrets good excuses to abandon this path. 'specially not after so much progress I've made under Goh-sensei! Everyday of training with Goh feels like my goal is that much closer. At the same time it feels like I can't be any further away from it.
What I Am - Unknown
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Why the hell did I do that!? I mean, I know WHY I did it, I just wished I didn't. Kyn-kun did not deserve that. He didn't deserve having me go ape shit on him in what was s'pose to be just a spar. I freaking hate myself for it.
Plenty of Time - Unknown
Soren really knows how to show a girl a good time. At least that's what I'd like to say, but MAN, what a bunch of messed up stuff he dragged me and Kyn too. Well, not dragged per say but close enough in my book. I ain't really complaining though cuz I got what I wanted out of the whole thing. What it is you may be thinking? Why an adventure of course! Aside from the stuff me and Kynshin got into after returning to Kumogakure there ain't be much of anything going on in the way of life or death excitement, ya know?
I'm… a terrible girlfriend though, ain't I? Here I am about to go on and on about the death defying puzzles, epic battles between spirits and stalwart… stalwart?… whatever! What I was trying to convey is that maybe I really ain't all that into normal stuff like that. Maybe it was all just me latching on to something new and exciting?
I still need more time to think…
Out For Good - Unknown
I finally figured out what I got to do; and honestly, I can't say I feel all that great about it. In fact, I feel freaking terrible bout it. But, their ain't no turning back for me now. Never really is for a gal like me. Nevertheless, I am glad I had that heart to heart with Kyn-kun before I left… Among a few other things that I won't get into just yet. ;3
Anyways… While I did agree with Kyn — AND was being honest too — that I'd like to settle back down in Kumogakure again, there's still a few things left out there that honestly have to be done on my own. Can't say I got an exact plan for those more special things per say. So, I figured I start with the most simple one, a distraction really since the rumors aren't likely to be true. I'm gonna head back to the Land of Fire and see if I can dispel these rumors about an old friend of mines. The odds aren't exactly with me; especially not after what happened the last time I met this friend. I gotta — I'm gonna hope for the best too, and if need be do what I can to help for a bit. Then… I gotta get back to my own journey, and hopefully back to Kynshin again.
Freaking Pathetic. I'm just so — (OOC Note: The rest from this point was scratched out several times to the point of being illegible. The only thing discernible from the mess is a small line regarding a letter being left to Kynshin.)
Useless - Unknown
First off I would like to say that either bounty hunting got real easy, or Eremi-kun isn't very good at hiding, and thus didn't really try all that hard. Probably the second option. Definitely the second one now that I think about it, though he had his reasons. Can't say that I agree with those reasons, not entirely n'ewayz, but it ain't like I got a choice on the matter. So, I'm gonna stick by his side for awhile till he works things out. 'nd maybe, I'll be able to figure out those other things myself.
How Things Really Are - Unknown
Eremi is out like a light now so now's the best chance I got to write this. Kinda wish I hadn't compromised my principles just to get to this sooner; but, I couldn't keep this pinned in much longer. 'What'cha talk'n bout Rise-chan?' you may be wondering Diary-san. Truth is, I no longer know I'm even on this journey anymore. I mean, I know 'nd it ain't like I'm think'n of going back home for awhile yet. I just don't really know know, ya know? Guess I should really try to explain things though to try and get a better perspective on it all, huh?
Well for starters, I know for a fact that one of main reasons I resigned from active duty was because Kumogakure just wasn't cutting it anymore. I got stronger just like my otou-san said I would, sure, but the thing that drove me all those years had started to fade. Without it I can still fight if I need to. But without it I lost reason. I can't just /fight/ without a reason. Not anymore. If I try I start to… regress, or something like that. It's hard to explain but it's like I stop being Rise and become an animal. A monster. I remember back when I first started out I didn't give a rat's ass bout how I ended up so long as I had the power to fight. The power to never again be helpless like I was on 'that' day. Almost wish things would've stayed that way. But then, where would I be? Dead probably in a couple years without a purpose. Though I guess technically after that point it wouldn't matter.
Now I'm getting side-tracked again. I hated when that crap happens! Just, ugh!
Anywayz, I don't get why I even bothered with this trek but I ain't giving up just yet. I can't afford to. Not anymore. Eremi, rather he knows it or not, is counting on me being able to keep it together before he ends up in an even worse place than I am. If nothing else I ain't gonna let that happen. That much I promise.
A Bit of History Goes A Long Way - Unknown
Eremi-kun showed me something today that I think I'll never forget. Ain't no way anybody could after seeing what he showed me, 'cept maybe the folk responsible for it in the first place; barring Eremi-kun. Granted, he weren't… I wish to say that he wasn't responsible for what happened too, but the truth is he was. Maybe not quite as much as those other scumbags who call themselves shinobi, but still, responsible nevertheless. I mean, you can't admit to taking even the smallest part of the massacre of a people and not think otherwise, right?
I can see now why he turned to drinking too. And why at night after I made certain that he doesn't slip a sip in before going to bed, I hear him nearby making a fuss over phantoms in his head. Nightmares that probably won't ever leave that good heart of his. At one point it got so bad I couldn't take it anymore. So I slipped in close to him, and hugged him while he slept until he settled down. Waking up the next morning was awkward as heck though, but I think I managed to sneak away without him noticing. After that though I stopped being so surly bout the booze, tho' I still made him work for his sip. Better that than to let him drink him straight into oblivion, and then down a gutter.
There's something strange bout it too. Well, not 'that' but something close to that. It feels weird but I wish there was more I could do for him. But I don't think I can. Not without crossing some lines that ya just don't cross for friends. And even then, I doubt it'd be enough to help. Tho' it gets harder and harder everyday that that I remain at his side.
Here's hoping we figure out a way to get the main bastard responsible for Eremi's dissertation before something… bad, happens.
Training Time! - Unknown
Eremi is a freaking pain in the butt! First he has me lug his heavy ass crap from practically one end of the Land of Fire to the other. Then he grills me about my chakra control. And THEN laugh at me because its a little explodey! Oh, and on top of all that nonsense, he decides to try and help me 'improve' that control of mines by walking on water. Ya know, so I'm not quite fry my brain when I try to open the first gate and what have ya. If it were trees everything would've been alright. But noooo, mister 'this is the best method blah blah blah' decided that I absolutely needed to learn that. Now I know I can't lie and say that being able to walk on water won't come in handy later. And sure, it'd just be pretty awesome showing that off to Kyn-kun later among a few of those other snubs back in Kumogakure. HOWEVER, my main issue is that he could've at least tried better to ease me into it. Not have me practice in a river — WHICH by the way was freezing, fudging cold!
Freaking — Just wanna strangle the guy sometimes, ya know? And here I thought…I don't know what I thought. I'm just… Frustrated, I guess. Tired too. And… maybe a little excited what tomorrow might bring. Even if it means I gotta deal with Buzzkill-san again.
Darkness - Unknown
Just what the heck am I doing anymore? I keep tell'n myself its to help out Eremi-kun and to get myself together so I can stop being so wishy washy around Kyn-kun, but now, I just don't know. All we've been doing is pretty much laying low for the past month or so. Not investigating and certainly not really training. Not to mention the missions here are kind on the lame side too.
So again, what the hell am I doing anymore?
I think — It's time I start finding out again. Starting with Akane.
Enter Cho - Unknown
Ya know, bout the only thing I ain't thrilled about is messing with my hair. While it ain't like the style it's in is gonna need a lot of maintance, the color just feels weird to me. It's kind of out there, ya see. Not waaaay out there, but out there enough that it's gonna turn a few heads. But, ya know, that ain't nothin compared to the rest of this get-up. And oh man! I can't way to surprise Eremi-kun and Kyn-kun with the new me. Maybe dig up a few things too.
Look out world for the Cho is here!
Strange Happenings - Unknown
Alright, so Sake to this whole Cho disguise might not have been such a good idea. Sure, I can't say that it probably didn't help things. Honestly tho', I can't say it helped much of anything really. Kind of… uh… lost my marbles appearantly. And called people names…. and was really touchy feely too.
I can live without that last bit sticking to my reputation. 'Cept with Kyn. O-o-o-or wait a minute! Not Kyn! Not anybody! In fact, I'm gonna finish this up here and burn this later just in case!
More Wierdness - Unknown
Explain to me again how I came up with this whole Cho thing again, cuz after what happened today I'm start'n to think it might just not be one of my ideas. I mean, shore I managed not to forget everything that went on while I was incognito n'all, but in a way, this time it was a little worser cuz of that!
Just ugh, I'm gett'n a little ahead of myself 'nd not explaining jack squat right. The thing is that I didn't really have a reason to be in 'Cho Mode' for the mission in the first place. Didn't have a reason to drink all that much (If anything, I should've been avoid'n the stuff after the incident with Eremi-kun last time), and yet before I knew it I'm saddle up on top of this tarp thingy, lazing it about on an escort mission in the Land of Grass. A pretty straight-forward one when I look back on it now, but again, that's beside the point.
I dunno. Maybe I really am starting to lose it a little.
I hope not.
Back Again & In-action - Unknown
So, I finally caved. It was nice being free to do what I want, sleep when I wanted, and eat when I wanted n'all, but I just couldn't stick around and twiddle my thumbs for any longer. Eremi's name needed to be cleared 'nd I just felt useless doing little more than making sure his ass didn't get stuck in jail or pulled out of some gutter cuz of some stupid drinking bet and what have you. So I left to do something that me and Kyn — to do something that if nothing else would get us some decent leads on the guy we're after. Ya know, the guy who is kinda like Eremi's predecessor, only without the kickass partner. Probably… aaannd technically not anymore. I'm sure he's gonna take it the wrong way even with the note I left his butt, but I just can't do it anymore.
I decided to rejoin Kumogakure, to rise up in the upper ranks if I have to and, very, very, VERY grudgingly, do what I have to make the kind of connections I'm gonna need for the long haul on this. I just -hope- that I haven't made the wrong choice. I got let go easy enough, but I don't think they'll take too kindly to me doing it again without a stronger reason at play.
Stupid past me for wasting a freebie.
Restraint - Unknown
What have I done?
Just what the hell was I thinking? Nothing!? Well of course not! All I freaking cared about was being Cho again, having a good time — a better time than I ever did as myself — and do so during something serious. End Result: One, very dead Jinchuuriki on Land of Lightning Territory.
One dead friend who would've survived if'n I just hadn't been there. If I had JUST been trying harder to reason with him or something ANYTHING except making a big joke out of it by doing all the things I did. If I'd of known that would've been the last time I got to hug him and —
Smothering Feelings - Unknown
I know I probably already said this before, but this time there won't be any more excuses. I'm gonna get more serious from now on. Not a whole lot since that kind of backfired in my faces when Hiei set me up as leader for taking care of one of the ox-man's men (Something I still can't shake he did the way he did so just to make a fool out of me), but more than before. I know I can't change everything about myself just overnight. I know there's gonna be some things I just can't shake even with Kyn-kun helping me along. But I don't — I'm not going to keep making those same mistakes again.
Even if I never find out those things I left Kumogakure for in the first place, I can't turn my back on it all again. I -won't- turn my back on Kyn-kun again. Not after all he's done for me, and… because I love him. A part of me still didn't want to admit it for so long. I even nearly tried to kill him to deny it too, which I know is totally freaking messed up. But I'm not gonna try to deny it anymore, or do anything to mess it up now if I can't help it. And there's only one thing I have left that would. Two counting that crap with Cho, but even so, I'm not gonna give up again or run.
I want this life.
Enter Misaki - Unknown
She's worse than me! Okay, not worse but I dunno. I can't really go around judging people, but I don't mean I have to like their methods with dealing with issues. And yeah, I do kind of feel sorry for her, but… I dunno. All I do know is that first thing tomorrow morning and every morning after that I'm gonna be checking in with big wigs to see about getting an arena set up for me and Misaki. She needs some place to mellow out, and I need something to work with if I'm gonna be able to be of any help with her.
Not that I'm obligated or anything, but ya know.
New Technique - Unknown
Bet you can't guess what I got brewing~ Why only the most awesome, fantastical, ridiculously cool, and ultimate technique! It is -so- great, I don't even have words to really describe it just yet, but trust me when I say that as soon as its complete, my enemies will quake in fear! 'less their like me. In which case, they'll probably stare in awe! :D Sad thing is, It won't be ready for another few months. Still trying to work out the landing without needing to spend a few weeks in the hospital afterwards.
Just fyi, Tenative Title of this technique: Springtime of Madness!
Same 'ol, Same 'ol - Unknown
So far I've managed to resist the urge, but its only a matter of time before I end up hurting one of them. They just don't quite get the fact that those months I was out of Kumo's hair I was doing anything but slack off. Sure there were a few dayz I took it easy here and there so my body could recover. But that's it!
So, you know what? I don't have to take this. It was never intention on putting on airs (or whatever that word is) for their sake or anyone elses for that matter. The higher ups know me well enough to know that no amount of time is gonna change who I really am. Knowing that, each and every one of those bullies who /still/ think its a good idea to mess with me are gonna be in for a rude awakening by the end of the week. This I freaking promise outright. Just gotta get me some stationary and convince the delivery nin to stick around for more than a second here. The guy's been so flighty ever since I returned that I'm starting to wonder if Ren's been making passes at him while I was away.
Dear Kami above, he better not have!
Progress Report 0 - Unknown
I've done all I can so far, but still haven't gotten the answers I wanted. I know it's only been 2 months, and I >know< I'm still on probation and all, but that don't change the fact that I'm starting to go stir crazy. Maybe I'm not as cut out for this type of work? It wouldn't exactly be a big suprise given the past, you know?
But whatever, I ain't giving up just yet. I can't nor will I go back without having something to show for all of this. He's counting on me…
Rumblings & Ramblings - Unknown
Ren-sama was right. I have been slacking off on training a little too much, even though it didn't feel like it for so long. I mean, I've always pushed myself pretty damn hard as is, but after allowing the Ox King and his crooney to overwhelm me, I know now it hasn't been enough. I made a promise to myself that's in the recent past has made it kind of difficult to balance one life for the other. The thing is… I can't just drop one or the other. I said it before, but just in case my dumbass future self decides to have an episode for whatever reason I'm gonna say it again.
"Do what you want, but remember to live."
I Don't Get It - Unknown
There's this Uzumaki that I've been bumping into a lot recently. She can pretty much be summed up as two things; weird and clumsy! At least, that's how I used to view her for awhile… and kind of still do now. Its just that, after what happened between us the last time we met I feel a little — Just a tiny bit — conflicted in regards to her. Look, I'm not going to get into it right now since even thinking about it a little is difficult for me right now. Long story short, we started off as friends but parted ways on a bad note, and now, I have no idea…
Binds of Leadership - Unknown
Guess what? I failed again. Even if the decision wasn't ultimately in my hands, it still doesn't change the fact that I could've still done something. Thing is, as it turns out it was a good thing I wasn't in Hiro-san shoes at the time, because if I had been, chances are I'd be lucky to be able to write this from a cell in the very same prison we intended to deliver our charge too. Assuming I would've survived the unnecessary fight against a group that was prepared from the get-go to make sure things went there way, one way or another.
As tough of a pill as it is, I learned a bit from Hiro-san that day. It tears me up inside something fiercely, but it was a good lesson nonetheless and something to apply in the future. The -near- future if the higher-ups can trust me and Amani to see about the 'Sea Hags' offer about joining the Coalition of Pirates. Even if they don't, well, I'll be pissed. There ain't no doubt about that to begin with. But, I'm gonna try and keep a little faith, ya know?
No promises! >:3
Can't Hold It In Any Longer - Unknown
First off, yeah I know that even with all the locks I put on ya that Otou-san will probably still figure out a way to read ya without my knowing it, but then again, it ain't like I'm gonna be able to keep this in or hide it for long anyhow, soooo… why bother? ( -.-)a
Anyhow! Well, how do I — Oh forget it! Me and Kynshin (yeah, yeah, you already probably know where this is gonna) finally did the you know what! And, oh, geeze, I don't even know where to begin with this! I mean, it wasn't like I was gonna go into that… okay, maybe I was at first. Kind of. Maybe. I mean, would that be weird? I know talking about your first time can be, but… what about writing about it? Or is it okay to do it about the second time? Third time? Maybe the fourth…?
Ugh! All this awkwardness aside, what I'll say now and leave at that I'm one less doubt down for good. I think….
Remodeling - Unknown
I think I'm almost ready to finally get in contact with A-kun again. It's been like what, 6 months now since I left that letter? I doubt he's gonna like what I got to say (and that's assuming he'll even accept anything I've written), but I gotta let him know that I ain't leaving him out in the lurch. That I'm not just playing around or forgot about my promise to him. Sure I fudged up by thinking things were gonna be just as lax in kumo as when I left. And sure, I didn't make things any better by using some now totally donkey excuses to put this off for so long. I…
Consequences be damned, I'm going through with this!
Creeping Shadows - Unknown
Whispers - Focus on the Seal in Relation to the Darkness
(OOC NOTE: The rest is blotted out completely by multiple, heavy handed pen strike through, though an unaltered chunk still remains at the bottom. It is, however, notably in the handwriting of another).
Pathetic Rise. Aren't you tired of feeling sorry for yourself? Tired of always taking a fist to thing you can't — DON'T want to try and understand? Sick of holding in the wrong words just out of fear of what people will think of you? Your better than that. I know you are. So stop acting like a whiny bitch already!
Loyalty & Authority - Unknown
But like, I digress. What I've been really trying to get to is two things really. The first being the fact that I wasn't as paranoid as I thought I was back then. I mean, sure there's more to it this time around than that, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm really not as cut out for being a shinobi for Kumogakure, or any nation for that matter. Honestly, what the hell was I thinking coming back to Kumogakure in the first place? 'specially knowing there was a new regime in place bound to crack down on even the small stuff. The yakuza and KRD incident didn't exactly help that much to boot.
Then there's Kyn-kun to think about to. Knowing him, he's bound to try and leave with me if I do decide to retire. But I can't have that. I… I can't leave him again as well. He means far too much to me, now more than ever. Nor could I ever ask him to abandon his friends and family for my own selfish reasons. But what else can I do? I can't go on pretending everything is alright forever.
Home Front Assault - Unknown
It came again. I felt it long before it even breeched the beaches. I think even if there were no traces on the surface left behind by its touch, I still would've felt it coming from a mile away. My body just can't forget the feel of its dark chakra, burning my scheme and digging into my mind.
Even after all the preparation the higher-ups have set into motion thanks to Hiei & Hiroyasu's help, EVEN with the Raikage himself, plus the combined forces of both Kumo and Konoha (as I would later find out), we could barely hold the beach before forcing it to retreat back to whence it came.
But you know what the most unsettling part of all about it? Even more than the fact that after all of that it STILL hasn't been weakened in the least? After entering the gate of limit, I lost a good few minutes of time before waking up on the beach with a fractured arm and the statues surrounding are Raikage in the ocean.
Old Paths & Gateways - Unknown
Anyways, Its sorta, kind of, rethinking this whole cleaner path to power. Don't get me wrong, its not as if this is just one of those impulse driven motives this time around, but something that I've been mulling over for these past couple of months. After the death of Kaito, I especially wanted nothing to do with anything even remotely similar to booze. I've even got into a bit of trouble when I ran into the more touchy-feely drunken off-duty chuunin, but THAT's besides the point. What I really trying to get as is what happened after I breeched the gate of limit. Ya know, the whole black out episode, followed by me drop kicking a 20' tall statue into its friends? Anywhosen, besides the severe muscle tearing that has winded me back in this hospital again, to have 'that' happen to me still even without having the pills in my system on top of being here again is, well, definitely not something I want to keep happening to me, or afford for that matter. Not if this whole all-consuming darkness, death worshiping shinobi invaders, and pirates made up of folk tired of all the bullshit on top of the bullshit are all only the prelude to something worse. I'd even go so far as to say I owe it to everyone who might actually be relying on me to be more than just prepared for the next problem, but also those that follow.
New Apprentice - Unknown
And to think, all this time I thought I was pretty wild, but Sakki-chan pretty much takes the cake. Not that it's a bad thing or anything. It's just, I dunno… sad? Weird even? A guess its a little of both of something I can't quite put my finger on at the moment. But like, yeah, not that I don't think she can take it or anything (cause obviously she has up to this point), I think I'm gonna do a little more than just teach Sakki-chan a bit than just techniques. I don't know >what< exactly. Just something more useful in a way. Like how to not do what I did growing up. In a way its probably too late, and I owe it to both Ren and her to do what I can.
And if all else fails, well, at least no one can bitch about it to me later. God I've gotten terrible.
Father's Warning - Unknown
I don't get! What the hell is his damn problem?! So what if I'm a little loud at night. He should just remember to put in his ear plugs like I do whenever he used to have company over. Not play the worried dad and try to practically break my arm twisting me to get therapy. He should know I don't like people poking around in my head!
But noooo~ It's either that or, well, he didn't say it out loud, but we both knew what he was thinking. I swear if he does manage to rope Kyn-kun into all this, then I really am going to wring that old man's neck! Honestly, the shit pisses me off to no end, and writing this shit out ain't helping right now, so I'm gonna end this here and go for a walk or something.
All I know is that >he< and whoever else feel like starting shit with me today better be prepared for an extended stay at the hospital if they try me.
Resurgence - Unknown
This really isn't going to get any better, because I've tried /everything/ from pills to just wearing myself out as much as possible before going to bed. Why can't it just leave me a lone. It ain't like /I'm/ the one that blew it up.
I just… wanna sleep without hearing that god awful whispering about 'the children'. I mean, am I really asking for too god damn much!?!
Evens & Getting Even - Unknown
Dear Diary(been a long time since I've done that),
As much as I dislike working with others and hate going to the hospital, beating up Hiei-kun was totally worth both. And it's not as if my partners were all that half bad either. With the exception of Sachiko-san (who I need to corner later), and not to say she didn't help at all mind you, but with the exception of her, me, Suzu-chan, and Michi-chan did a pretty bang up job together.
What really got me tho' was just how strong these kids today have gotten. Oh frack, Now I feel really old. Is that bad? Anyways, now that the adrenaline high isn't making me see red and all, I can appreciate just how much they've grown around Kumogakure. 'Specially that Sado kid. I ain't gonna like. He didn't seem like he'd be much of a challenge for me, let alone the other Kunoichi.
I was wrong. I can't still remember /all/ the details, but I remember enough about his entering a state I've only seen Hiei and a couple of older Yotsuki enter before. It's a little, kind of, maybe scary just to think about. It took me years to get where I am now, and yet these genin are barely out of the academy but ready to stand toe to toe with the likes of me.
As if I really needed a reminder of how much I've been apparently slacking off. In any case, long story short, we kicked ass, took names, and made damn well sure neither one of them will underestimate us.
Close Call- Unknown
Now, normally I don't mind attracting trouble. Even these days I don't. And did what happened make things interesting? Well, yeah. But all of that doesn't matter. Being blindsided by another one of 'those' is just…
What did she mean by 'I don't want to go back there?' Go back where? Home? Or like, did she mean back to wherever her mind was while the beast was rampaging?
Or maybe I'm just thinking about this way too heavily. Either way, the important thing is all is… good, I guess. For now. I shouldn't let myself get anymore involved in whatever is her issue than what I have. There's enough on my plate as is, and it ain't like I'm an expert on the subject just cuz of the exams from last time, and what happened with Kaito-san….
But knowing my dumbass, I'm not gonna be able to resist poking at the whole inner monster thing. Yay me~
Completion & Stepping Up- Unknown
I not only have a special room at the hospital, but my own jail cell as well~ I ain't joking. Even though my days of escaping boredom are long behind me, they don't trust me enough to, ya know, fix that. Not that I mind or can blame them for that matter.
Take the other day for example. Now, I ain't gonna lie here and say I didn't have any idea I'd finally get that 'technique' right that day. I /hoped/ I would. Just… not at the trianing center, and obviously not by accident. Who would of guess that taking off those weights would've done the trick? OR for that matter it is really possible to literally “kick-up” a tornado.
Does accomplishing that make me a taijutsu master though? Because if it does, then why do I still feel… unsatisfied? Uncertain? I can't accept having hit my limits already. I can't, and I won't.
Pieces of the Past Pt.1 - Unknown
I gotta be either the biggest idiot in the world for believing in tou-san again. I mean, fucking c'mon! He knew damn well what Natsuki did to me – to us, and he still had the nerve to personally request me for the mission. About the only thing that pisses me off more than that is the simple fact that I know part of the reason the higher-ups even fucking agreed was to get me out of the way for awhile. As if I have really anything to do with that whole 'Silence” group. I mean, come the fuck on?! But nope, always more B.S topping for my sundae.
I am grateful they at least put Michiko-chan as my partner. She doesn't get under my skin like most. In fact, and in a sort weird kind of way, I felt a little more at ease. Kind of.
But it wasn't completely enough to for me not to lose my cool a couple of times, or avoid nearly falling into a spike trap Natsuki set up. That fucking loon.. Not only did she have the nerve to have us dance across her field of land mines, but ALSO the audacity to turn a simple delivery mission into an escort one! And this is after blowing up her house without so much as an explination as to why?! I swear, if me and Michiko-san survive this impending shit storm, I'm gonna snap her neck myself.
Ghost Time - Unknown
My head still hurts just thinking about it. It was already bad enough waking up in the middle of nowhere to begin with, but oi, that's my life now. If I want out, all I gotta do is stop holding back on pissing off the higher ups, right? Well, either that or take the coward's way out. Wait, what the hell am I writing!? I've just barely gotten through with fighting these.. things, ghosts or whatever — things that tried to suck out my soul mind you (or at least, that's how it felt!), and after surviving something like that, I go thinking about dying myself?
Really. What the hell?!
Maybe, and I can't believe I'm even writing this (let alone think), but maybe its time that I finally ask for… help. If nothing else, it'd brighten up my day seeing Hiei-san or Hiro-kun reaction to it. But honestly speaking, this isn't something that can be taken lightly. I've already burnt plenty of bridges to know that a half-ass attempt at it won't get me far. But still, what if they find something wrong with me? I mean, really, really wrong? As much as I hate some of the jerks in the village, Kumogakure is still my home. But if I have to choose between being locked up in some loony bin or being taken off duty then… I don't know, which honestly scares me a little. I'm not used to being afraid like this, and I definitely don't like it. But what other choices do I have? Go hollow again, and don't come back from it?
Distortion - Unknown
I think – but don't take me fully at my word yet – but I think I've officially broken every mirror in this house. And believe me, there were a lot of them. Took me like what, a month to get through all of them. Probably would'a been through the entire bunch sooner if Otou-san wasn't so dead set on replacing them. He is such a Diva. Or wait, not Diva, but something else. Its on the tip of my tongue, but I can't quite put it to words.
Guess my thousand years of bad luck is starting sooner rather then later. Not that I really care at this point, or even believe in that shit. I just… It just pisses me off how seeing my face these days. I don't know why, and I kinda don't want to get too down far into that psycho crap right now. But that's kind of like the whole point of writing these journals, ain't it? To vent a little, think back, and ya know, all that other stuff that goes with it. Makes me almost wanna set this thing on fire. And why the hell did I start this thing anyways? It ain't like I got the time to read back those old entries anyways. Plus, this shit is always cramping up my hand too.
Then there's this… other thing too. I can't describe it. Not really. But its kind of like there's something off with this book too. Kinda like there's something I should know about it, but… I dunno, but its weird. Either way, I'm gonna call it a night today before I really do decide to burn this thing; thus, making sure that I wasted a shit ton of time for no reason.
Like Minds - Unknown
I met someone… interesting, today. Kind of an understatement, I guess, but it is what it is or whatever. Her name is Hangaku. Didn't catch her last name. She's… sort of how I pictured myself someday a long time ago. Taller, Don't-take-shit attitude, bustier… and anyways, a traveler that knows how to take care of herself. There's more to it too, but I don't wanna waste time getting into all of that right now. What's really important is the whole /why/ we met.
She wanted to know how to unlock the eight chakra gates from me. Well, technically anyone would do, but most fighters here belong to clan's with their own special thing going on. Like them Yotsuki and there lightning veil or cloak or whatever. And the Reizei and their “God Speed” (Or was it something else?). And as much as I hate to admit it, those things aren't anything that she be knocked. Hiei practically overwhelmed me once he went all lightning cloak on me. But I'm getting off track. I was… surprised. Not so much by who was asking… well ok, kind of the who, but mostly because of the fact it happened sort of out of the blue. Pretty much anyone who knows about the gate knows about the price you have to pay for that kind of power ain't no joke. I've damn near hospitalized myself several times after unlocking only a few of them myself. A lot of times, I've even succeeded. Course there is more to the gates than just that. The kind of commitment you need is…
Fact of the matter is this: I gave her a test; she passed. Her reasons aren't exactly pure, but they aren't that bad as well. I'm hoping (Hah) that by the time I done training her, I'll be able to, I dunno, instill a little bit more. Kind of like what Eremi-kun did for me, incidentally.
Point Taken - Unknown
I didn’t think I could feel any lower until Hiei decided to throw out that those last few words. “Despite what you think, I do respect you.” They still keep humming in my ears, twisting my guts, and haunt me no matter where I go or what I do. But the one thing they don’t do, the thing that I and probably everybody else that might’ve been around and knew me well enough expected to bring out of me is anger. Maybe even hatred for his thinking that he knew me well enough to think that I thought something else of him. If… that makes any sense at all.
All I know is that I want to hate him with every fiber of my being, but I can’t because of those stupid ass words keep getting to me. I can’t even be a little mad at him over everything else that came before, even though he /is/ off about my motivations. Not that he is at fault for that. I still haven’t figured out what happened those times when I blacked out, yet I’m pretty sure whatever did go down don’t exactly help my case. Add on my little “problem” with authority figures in the past, and you wind up with a pretty damn good recipe for a “Distrust Rise Soup”.
Guess I should be glad that Sachi-chan was on my side for what it’s worth, even though she doesn’t quite got the whole story down. I… should probably stay away from her though. Her and Shun that is. Just cus’ me and Hiei are at odds at the moment, doesn’t mean I /want/ or need the temptation to get back at him. And I’m not say’n I’d even go that far, but I just… I need to be left alone for a while.
Good Plan, Poor Execution - Unknown
So, like, remember when I said that I ‘probably’ should stay away from Sachiko because of ‘X’ reason? Well, I kind of succeeded… for about a week. She and Michiko caught me off guard at the beach. And while normally I wouldn’t mind breaking an off-hand promise, in hindsight, this one would’ve been better kept until I wasn’t so off my game still.
All in all, things could’ve gone a lot worser than they did. It doesn’t the fact that I left all rude like. Neither of them deserved that, least of all Michi-chan. It… I don’t need this kind of a headache. Writing all this out ain’t helping like it’s supposed to… like it /used/ to anymore…
Battle of the Silence - Unknown
He was there again, and even my best technique wasn't enough to stop him. But what really tics me off even more than that is the fact that thanks to some dumbass tornado (the one that /wasn't/ mine!), I wound up screwing up my landing and unconscious, waiting to either be scooped or die. It had to be one of those folk from Suna that Michiko told me about. A… Sasami? Sosoru? Whatever. Point is, if I ever find out exactly who it was that done it, me and that someone is gonna have a long talk about being more freaking mindful of their allies.
Memories - Unknown
Anyways, there's that one and… the one where I had some kind of knife in my hand. A really wicked looking thing. Even the reason why I did it feels all kinds of messed up between the two memories. I was trying to protect someone, not just my own life. And whereas I was grateful in the one, in the other, I just felt sick to my stomach, and sad all at once. There's this kind of saying that goes 'Don't ask what you don't want the answer to'. Well, guess what I'm gonna be doing pretty soon…
Worries - Unknown
I gotta stop being so quick to blame everyone else for my problems. It ain't right, and it sure as heck ain't me. I'm just so fucking pissed off with myself, that its hard not to want to. And, I'm tired of doing the whole "who-shaa" thing and counting backwards. If I don't wind up even more pissed off then earlier, I end up nearly passing out on the spot.
I'm tired of this ache in my chest most of all. That, and waking up everywhere else but in my bed most of the time. It'd be one thing if it was just me sleep walking, but the places I wind up — the smells — I can't help but worry even more about what would happen if one of these days I come to with him under me, and in me in a /not/ normal way. Or what if its Amani-chan.. Or Sachiko-san… Michiko-chan…
Inuzuka Surprise - Unknown
Something rather extraordinary happened the other day. I met this Inuzuka pair, Kaido-san and Bandit, on the beach. I can't say that we met under the best of circumstances (what with me having nearly killed Bandit trying to protect myself), but once things calm down a bit, they taught me three things. One of which I'm not gonna bother writing down before I figure out what its supposed to be, and why Kaido-san has this thing with wax (Weird, I know).
The Offer - Unknown
Even after meeting with Hiei-san (I guess its Raikage-sama now) earlier today, I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around this whole becoming a general thing. I mean, it'd be nice to have the slate kind of finally wiped clean n' all, but I doubt everyone else will just get on board. And yeah, that kind of goes with the territory, so what? Doesn't change the fact that there's got be way more qualified folks for the job then me. Even those jounin who keep half-assing shit are better choices then me for freaking sake!
Okay, maybe I shouldn't go that far. I just ain't a big fan of shortcuts like that. Its another one of those things that would just throw everything out of whack should I end up with the job. Then, there's the fact that whole last thing Hiei said about the job waiting for me. Don't get me wrong, its flattering, but he's taking a big risk not nominating someone else in my place, even if its only temporary. Or maybe he /does/ have someone lined up just for that? For Kumo's sake, I hope he's thought that far ahead.
Parting Gifts - Unknown
Tonight will be my last night in Kumogakure. You'd think I'd have spent all my time up to now getting all nostalgic over every think, or at least just finally spending time with Kynshin. Instead, I've been trapped in this room, thinking so much I actually got a nosebleed from overworking my brain. At least that's what I think is the cause, but if it turns out that this is just another one of those weird symptoms that I've lost my mind or the seal acting up then I'm running out of time. Just imagining what else can go wrong is making me stir crazy like no tomorrow. I wish I had the courage to see Kyn-kun before I go, but… I just can't.
When I know more for sure then I'll get in contact with him. Leaving him again might be the last straw though, so — If nothing else, he'll at least hear me out. Or that Inuzuka pair will make him. I can't believe I'm admiting this, but I pray it doesn't come to that. I know, I know, it all could've just been avoided if I'd of went "Damn the consequences" and accepted Hiei's offer. Or hell, just not said anything to Kaido and Bandit in the first place. Me and my big mouth. At least traveling alone for awhile should cure me of it, if nothing else. Now to get some shut eye. There's still a few things left that needs doing before I'm gone.
Preparation - Unknown
It took way longer than expected to get everything together; especially the presents. Rather or not, Ren-baka remembers to deliver them on time on the other hand might make it all kind of pointless. But he will, I'm sure of it. I guess what I'm not really sure on is rather or not Michiko-chan, Sachiko-san, Naruko-chan, Nariko-senpai, Bandit-san, Kaido-san, Kynshin-kun, & Ryouji-kun will like them. It feels strange worrying about them even a little bit. Like, with the exception of three of those folk, It hardly feels as if I'm close enough to them to be obligated or 'inspired' to give gifts. And yet, most of my savings were blown away getting their gifts.
On the Road Again - 12/03/11 A.F.
Well, its official. I'm lost. I don't know how the hell it happened, or even why the hell it did, but it did. Now I'm stuck in the middle of freaking nowhere hoping my supplies don't run out before I reach the nearest towns. Seriously, what the hell is up with all these freaking trees anyways!? They call this the land of fire, and yet all I see is fucking folliage!! Seriously!? Who was the genius who came up with the name? Was there some rogue ninja who liked to set shit on fire, only to grow the crap right back? Or maybe its supposed to be some sort of play on the whole the Land being one a lot of wars been raged on.
Severance - Unknown
Remember that whole having my arm ripped off thing? Well, turns out things could get worse. As in not being able to get it reattached kind of worse, what with my rough handling, and lack of "due" haste getting to a "proper" doctor in time. And I know frankly that I should be happy to even be alive (or lucky as one doc told me), but one of the tricks to staying alive is being optimistic about everything. Okay, mostly everything, though a bit of that simply being delusional goes a long way. I should know from experience… at least, the ones I remember clearly. The rest I don't even want to consider talking about in any kind of detail whatsoever.
Honestly, I'm just surprised the news didn't hit me as hard as I thought at first. Losing an arm is a big thing. It won't effect my goal in the long run by too much so long as I get used to it quickly enough, and — Oh who am I kidding? It sucks having to change so much of life just to keep going. I hate this being humble crap, and I hate having to ask for help so much even more. I mean, I still got one arm left! Shouldn't that be enough?! But noooo, of course it ain't. Sure, I get why. There's a lotta stuff just does normally that gets ignored after a while. I knew that much, but… crap, I'm just going around in circles at this point. I think I'll just lay down and try not think for a while. That usually fixes me right up (not really).
Worth - Unknown
It won't be long before I'm unconscious again, so this will have to be short. I've survived my encounter with Tsiro, though saying I did is kind of a joke really. I had bet my future for the respect of someone that hadn't even remembered who I was. Or at least… he pretended not to. Either way, it was stupid. It doesn't change the fact that if I had the chance to go back and change my decision, I still wouldn't do so. I needed the… experience. There is always gonna be someone out there stronger than you. That's just how fucked up, and at the same time, how nice being alive is. I knew that, but I need to reaffirm that belief, because… all my life I've strived to be strong enough to never have to worry about being helpless again. It's been the ONE consistent thing.
But if I was gonna be more honest, I'd say that's just a bunch of bull. That I'm really, really scared of not having my safety blanket to fall on when it comes to answering that big quest: What do you want out of life? I wasn't a complete idiot. I knew that I didn't really know how to answer that, but before I knew it, that one goal became everything to me. Anyways, long story short, I didn't come out of that scrap whole. My arm got ripped off, and I don't mean that as anything but exactly that. Still hurts like a bitch despite whatever drugs the doc gave me. Speaking of which, is that why I'm getting all sappy? Cus if so, I'm gonna lay my ass back down till this stuff runs its course. Not that I don't need the rest, what with the hike I got looking forward to starting tomorrow.
Silencing the Silence - 2/01/12 A.F.
I know I've said this at least a thousand times, but I'm /really/ getting sick of waking up and seeing a blank white ceiling above my head instead of, I dunno, the one of my OWN room. Though technically by now I should just call the one I woke up to that. Or at least, I'm pretty sure it is, cuz' you see, there's this one spot in it that I always liked trying to lodge stuff in whenever I got stir crazy. Which was like, every time, but I digress. From what has been told to me so far, I've been out for a couple of days at least, if not more. I never got a clear answer on that because of this teeny, tiny breakdown I had. One in which I supposedly put said teller through a wall or something. I doubt it because that definitely sounds like something I'd remember. I /did/ remember asking someone about what happened before going back to sleep, but beyond that? Nothing.
Oh wait! I remember now. The dude actually had the nerve to say that the Raikage carried me back to Kumogakure. As if that'll ever happen! I mean, sure he /seems/ to have gotten over some of his issues with me; but like, come on, that would be almost… sweet of him. I can't even imagine it, nor do I want to. It would however explain the black out though. That and the evil I've been getting whenever I'm walking around the hospital. Though, pretty much everyone who has worked in the hospital long enough know me about how I am when it comes to hospitals. About the only time I can remember ever not causing some type of trouble was whenever I a) unconscious, b) visiting, or c) very, very, VERY medicated. Sad, I know, but wouldn't you be pissed off about being practically locked up when your feeling fine?
Dear Kami, I'm freaking starting to ramble again. The main thing I was trying to get out this whole time was the fact that — while I could be wrong — the death of that fucking bastard Yuuma. Or at the very least, we've finally kicked his ass enough he won't be a bother to anyone anymore… I hope, at least. If he does come back, well, I still got one good arm to smack him around with! Which… also reminds me. Akane-chan was at his side again, working for him. She was trying to get his confidence, or so I remember her telling me before. But… I dunno what happened. I don't know if he did something to her, or if it was all I big lie. Whenever I try to think to hard on it my brain gets all fuzzy, and my mouth feels numb. I don't think I can that right now. Maybe later.
Moving On - 2/06/12 A.F.
Can boats go any slower than this freaking tub? Cus' if so, I guess I 'aughta count myself luck then. Then again, I can't really complain, seeing as how this is the only one willing to make a side-trip to the Land of Water, my… birthland. It feels kind of weird going back to that place a second time. At least I think it does, but maybe I'm just thinking too much on it? Doesn't matter. I'm still going there no matter how things 'feel', not that there was any danger of being swayed anyways. Even though there is a good chance of running into Tsiro-san again. In fact, I may even have to hunt him down. I wonder how he'll take my request though. It'd be worth it just to see the look on his face!
My time is almost up. Hell, my time has been up for awhile now, but seeing as how Hiei-sa — Raikage-sama allowed me to go, there still some left. I was tempted to go upside his head for allowing it, if only for Michiko's sake. He's putting a lot on her shoulders, and… I shouldn't be complaining. Only doing my best to hurry this trip along so I can get back and start doing my part. If I can make it back…
Peace & Pieces - Unknown
I have returned to the Land of Lightning, and soon it will be time for me to be officially reinstated. There remains much uncertainty as to whether or not if Hiei will stay true to his word, or allow me to properly rise up in the system. I believe this will be cleared soon. He is a competent leader, a powerful warrior, and more insightful than what some may give him credit for due to his bloodline. That is my thinking for the time being at least. If I am proven wrong, I will act accordingly at that time. Until then, Kumogakure has been and remains in good hands. The same cannot entirely be said regarding the rest however. It has been at least month since I've been gone, and Hiei was still new to his position before I left. So, I will need to reevaluate that much.
I regret to inform you diary… no, I regret to inform you Rise that you do not recall much of what happened during that month following your departure. There was another argument of some kind I believe regarding this body. Because I was the rightful owner, it was ultimately left to me. However, a peculiarity has been noted. My ability to express emotion and 'feel' seems to have been severely muted. This will not impede my ability to perform any future assignments as far as I am aware. In fact, it may benefit me — us — in the future, when/if such a time comes in which we require the acquisition of money. With this and the fact that I must focus on my duties in mind, I will leave the investigation into this matter for a much later date. Until then, I will remain somewhat 'unnerved' about this side-effect.
The Breakouts - Unknown
Once more, the Land of Lightning finds itself besieged by enemies from within. Though I suspect some may escape into other lands to avoid retribution, plenty will remain to settle old grudges or return to their former seats of power. By simply escaping in the first place, they render it pointless to retain the current system. I would propose the execution of any and all dangerous criminals in the future someday. However, I feel obligated not to do so for the sake of those that /chose/ to remain. Granted, they did so for purely selfish reasons instead of any obligation to the system itself, but the fact remains that this did occur.
Sweetness - Unknown
Since my return from the Kumogakure's top security prison (in name only, it seems), I've begun studies on a particularly troubling phrase I heard from one of the inmates, a former enemy of mines, or so he claimed. The fact that he lives is more of a surprise to me than anything else, but I must digress. The phrase in question is “Candy-assed Kunoichi”. Though he explained it to me as being something derogative, I pressed on with the investigation to confirm the truth of the matter nevertheless. And while it /is/ possible the phrase is meant to have double meanings, wait, no that cannot be the case this time. I must understand what that pirate captain meant in order to properly interact with him in the future. That is if I am to use it to my advantage.
Omission - Unknown
He found me. I do not know if it was simply happenstance or something intentional on his part yet, but Kynshin found me. It was inevitable, of course, seeing as how we have been living together for some time now. No, not me, but ‘her’. I – she – I do not fully understand what possessed me to go home with him given how things were. I could’ve gone back to live with Ren, or even found some other residence. The monks, perhaps, would not be so unkind as to turn me away for an evening or two, especially so long as I made up for my abrupt choice to take up lodgings with them. Presumably, it is because we both fell for him. But logically, I cannot give him what he needs anymore. My heart is like a block of ice, or so another has said to me. While I am certain that this is not physically the case, the difference in other ways is more than clear enough to me.
Nevertheless, we returned home and discussed the situation. For a second time, I was presented with the option of coming clean completely. To tell the truth about what happened to ‘her’. I am not absolutely certain myself, but the does not excuse me for not complying fully. It is an oddity in itself, because there was no reason for me not to… except one. It happened at least twice while in his presence, because of something he did, but I cannot be certain yet. Feelings are complicated by nature, and humans are exceptionally flawed. Thus, anything that I mistook could just as easily have been a mistake on my part. But still, when he said that he cared for me deeply, and.. whenever our lips met, my heart beat faster, and… then I reverted back to this state. This is all very confusing. It is unfortunate that the prison break happened so soon, for I may have requested a day off.
Nerves - Unknown
It would seem that I erred on several occasions in regards to the individual known as Yori. Not only did I mistook his initial refusal to rest when it seemed obvious to me that he was ill, but also failed to recognize his potential as a negotiator, or tactical officer. There is a more exact word for what I meant by the latter. Unfortunately, at this moment it escapes me, so I digress. These failings are strangely more disturbing than what they logical should be. I find myself growing more convinced that I am not ready for the Raikage's offer to promote me to general despite knowing that I am human, and mistakes are bound to be made. In some small part, this too may be another remnant of what I once was or what I lack now having surfaced. If so, this is even more disturbing.
Stirring Moments - Unknown
As mentioned in previous entries, there have been moments in which I experienced something "more". No, that is not the correct wording, but that is beside the point. The true point is that these events seem to coincide with moments in which 'she' would've felt something intensely. To a degree, I remain conflicted. Continuing down my current course — one in which I remain ignorant of the triggers — may lead to her revival. I will not stand for it. There is no reason why I should have to forsake my own body for the sake of some amalgamation of what was once my sister.
Familiar Feeling - Unknown
It has been approximately three days since my last mission. My recovery time would have been lengthier, but against what may have perhaps been my own worse judgment, I managed to convince the hospital staff to allow for my early release. It wasn't as if they were not aware of my tendency to recover quickly. Even so, my true reasoning had nothing to do with it. I was feeling 'antsy'. I can explain the feeling no better. No matter how much I tried to remain still, I yearned to improve my capabilities more.
And the reason is so very simple. Though I managed to get away and complete my mission, the close encounter with the Rogue(presumed, at least) Uchiha left me with this yearning for greater strength, a greater versatility. For the first time in a long while, I experienced "fear", and a strange sense of deja vu. Not at the same time, but nevertheless, for these two feelings to be provoked from a single individual — I am getting off topic. While I remain curious as to how the Sharingan has made it possible to summon giant constructs of chakra, I will instead devote my energies towards improving myself, so that one day I may be more prepared to handle such surprises.
Showing What is Known - Unknown
I may have consciously forgotten my past, but the same cannot be said of my body. What I experienced during my assessment test by Michiko-sama is proof of this. "Never underestimate your opponent." There is no tone or gender to the voice, so I cannot say for certain where it came from. All I know is that the phrase popped strongly in mind after taking a rather severe hit from Michiko-sama metal clone. Altering my approach accordingly may have yielded better results, but I do not believe that Michiko-sama was particularly happy about the change. On a personal level, that is. On some level I find myself agreeing with the sentiment. "She" greatly disliked genjutsu, almost to the point of "flipping out" whenever it was utilized. And yet, over time she learned to use it herself; sparingly, but nevertheless, she used it. I still cannot access the memory related to this change, but I can only assume that at some point "she" began to realize the limitations of taijutsu, and wanted to do more. It is a miracle she managed as well as she did. Then again, her determination to unlock the eight chakra gates may have had something to do with it.
The Gamble - Unknown
It has become clear to me that my existence is somewhat unwanted by my former caretaker, Ren. While this was not stated in so many words, when inquired into, his demeanor changed from what I am aware of as the norm for him. This change was rather unpleasant. In an effort to remedied the situation, I have agreed to participate in the upcoming Steel Soul Tournament, effectively suspending my duties to Kumogakure, as well as risk furthur damaging one of the villages assets.
Do not be mistaken. I do not place my value so high as to believe that a replacement will not be found. It would, however, be wasteful. But for the sake of ensuring that that at least this connection is not strained, I have agreed to his term, questionable though they may be. If the tournament proves not enough, I will then consider taking this matter up with another. Perhaps, someone with greater authority than I.
Shattered Once More - Unknown
Consciousness comes and goes in the blink of an eye, and so does focus. We — I do not understand the point. She — We — it is very difficult. Some purpose for this entry regarding us. This state. It is unmanageable. We — I have been rebuilt. Deeper. So very deep they went. Her rage cannot be continained. I do not understand. We are of more used to Kumogakure whole than incomplete. Promotion to Anbu more fleasiable now. We talk — /I/ talk, but she does not listen. So much fury.
There was a point. Something. A memory? Can't —
Uneasy Acceptance - Unknown
The proof of my efforts — my existence is gone now, replaced by this shining new coat that wasn't asked for. Still, can't deny how much stronger I feel. Lighter. Its kind of gonna take awhile to get used ot it all; especially this arm. Now, I know its real 'nd all, but it doesn't exactly feel it, which rules out something like crazy lizard drug.
I'm not gonna be able to forgive Ren for this. Not ever. I don't /care/ what he was trying to do. Coming back to this is an even bigger nightmare than going back. Not that I belong anywhere to begin with…
Time's Almost Up - Unknown
So, just found out she lost to Tsiro, not that that's all that big of surprise. If I'd been there, things would'a been different. Probably. Anyways, turns out, it looks like I might get that shot according to the latest posting, assuming I can stay angry long enough. Yeah, funny, right? Too bad I'm not joking. Every time I relax or stay idle for too long, the numbness starts to spread again. Which is fine and all. Its not as if I expected this to last long, and… I'm not really sure I want it to.
I don't belong. But perhaps after this tournament… after I face him one more time, I can go on a good note. Maybe…
Whereas her exact origins remain unknown, it was discovered early on by her guardian, Ren no Tsuki, that her training in combat started early on with a primary focus towards taijutsu based on how quickly she picked up and even adapted the many stances and forms to suit her needs. Rise also innately possessed a nigh endless pool of energy to draw upon. Together, Ren and Rise took advantage of it to solidify a foundation in the martial arts. She joined Kumogakure's academy by the age of 9, having already mastered a number of techniques under the Konoha Strong Fist Style; such as Leaf Gale and Leaf Whirlwind. She is, however, a berserker at heart. One that for a time supplemented her lack of physical strength with pills, overwhelming speed, and innate battle instincts.
As the years went by, that same tenacity would later help Rise endure the rigors of the World Ninja Competition, and even survive the conflict with being of living darkness that desired — and may have succeeded — in overwhelming the world. It is however her relationship with Naru, a somewhat short-lived rivalry, Tsiro, and Eremi that pushed her to exceed her previous. Two of the most prudent of which being her disdain for genjutsu, and reliance of pills to keep up with those stronger than herself, often at the risk of losing herself to berserker tendencies that much more easily. Satonezu Eremi, a nuke-nin at the time of their meeting, went a step further by starting her on the path to unlocking the eight chakra gates; the power to surpass even a Kage by removing the limits of the body. Alone, she studied means to both manipulate and resist genjutsu, but only time will tell if she throws off lingering resentment towards the less physical art and eventually advances beyond just necessity. The fact that she has gone a step further in learning to scroll storing techniques hints at as much being a possibility.
|Rapid Movement Mode||1.0||3.0||2.5||3.0||3.0||4.0||3.0||1.0||20.5|
|Prototype Soldier Pill||1.0||3.0||2.5||3.0||3.5||3.5||4.0||1.0||21.5|
|Titan Pill I||1.0||5.0||2.5||3.5||5.0||4.0||4.0||1.5||25.5|
|Titan Pill II||1.0||5.0||2.5||3.5||5.0||5.0||3.0||1.5||27.5|
|Gate of Opening||1.0||6.0||5.0||5.0||5.0||6.0||5.0||4.0||37.0|
|Gate of Healing||1.0||6.5||5.0||5.0||5.0||6.0||5.0||4.0||37.5|
|Gate of Life||1.0||6.5||5.0||5.0||5.0||6.0||5.5||4.0||38.0|
|Gate of Pain||1.0||6.5||5.0||5.0||5.5||6.5||5.5||4.0||39.0|
|Gate of Limit||1.0||7.0||5.0||5.0||5.5||7.0||5.5||4.0||40.0|
|Gate of View||1.0||7.0||5.0||5.0||6.0||7.0||6.0||4.0||41.0|
|Gate of Wonder||1.0||7.5||5.0||6.0||7.5||7.5||7.5||4.0||43.0|
|Gate of Death||2.0||8.5||6.0||6.0||8.5||8.5||8.5||4.0||51.5|
From early on, Rise's Taijutsu abilities exceeded all others in relation to combat. She possesses an innate knack for picking up the many forms related to martial arts, a hardy body despite her outward appearance, and the drive to master combat art that placed her well above others in the area over the years. Her single-minded focus left much to be desired when it came to genjutsu and ninjutsu. While her companions and enemies alike cast bolts from afar or disturbed the mind, all Rise possessed was her fist and determination to fight on regardless of personal injuries. This weakness on more than one occasion left the girl wanton, as was evident against her long time rival, Sekisetsu of Kirigakure. In time she garnered the agility to even the playing field, but it is only her studies under the missing-nin Eremi and the subsequent unlocking of the eight chakra gates that truly pushed her beyond just that. It is with the assistance of Amani Yamayuki that Rise has branched out from her past further by entering the field of medicine, though she remains only capable of treating basic injuries of date.
Rise reached a point in her career of being considered a taijutsu mastered, pushing past what most would think impossible by re-awakening the Leaf Dragon God Technique; a forbidden S-rank Taijutsu, and one of the few accessible without the need of any other medium.
- E-rank Offenses
- E-rank Defenses
- D-rank Offenses
- D-rank Defenses
- C-rank Offenses
- C-rank Defenses
- B-rank Offenses
- B-rank Defenses
- A-rank Offenses
- A-rank Defenses
- S-Rank Offense
- S-Rank Defense
When it comes to Genjutsu Rise has always been found wanton. While in time she divined the means to resist the effects at the cost of blood, pain, and at times, sanity, it is ultimately her erratic chakra control that has kept her from even considering the notion of picking up the art. Control was subsequently found as she sought to unlock the chakra gates, though it would not be for another year before Rise sought to study the art.
What started off as only of unexpected revenge on an old tormentor placed Rise on the path of becoming an adept genjutsu user. She still continues to abhor the art to a degree, so has only ever used it either in desperation or petty revenge.
Under the guide of Yamayuki Amani, Rise has begun branching out into the medical field. However, her knowledge and abilities are limited to only the knowledge of how to treat basic injuries without the use of chakra; such as bandages, salves, pills, and etc.. Aside from this, through the use of the eight chakra gates, Rise possess limited regenerative abilities as well.
Rise initially relied on various versions of the soldier pill in order to enhance her physicality. However, her unique physical make-up often resulted in entering a more feral state, her fighting style altering accordingly to reflect the state. In extreme cases or given the potency of the pill, Rise would even go complete berserk, removing her ability to determine friend or foe until either exhausted or too injured to go on. Although her body eventually adapted to the pills to the point that such states happened less regardless of the situation, the threat of losing control pushed her to search for other means of empowerment.
Under the guidance of a rogue shinobi, Satonezu Eremi, Rise discovered the means to reach new heights in terms of power, though at the risk of endangering her body in the process. She learned to access the first three chakra gates with Eremi's assistance at the age of 15, and would later go on to unlock the an additional three by the age of 18 with the aid of her foster father, Ren no Tsuki. Rise has learned through trial by fire a number of techniques to take advantage of the extreme enhancement to her physicality. Although focus is retained in this state, the painful cost of invoking this state often leaves it as a last resort by Rise's personal standards.
**The old and new beliefs held by Rise at heart brought together. **
"I can understand them, but that doesn't me I'm gonna accept it all unthinkingly. That hasn't nor will it ever change."
"Give up? You really don't know me all that well do ya?"
"Sometimes I wish I never come out of the blood lust. Reality is just too dang depressing these days."
"When it starts, you better not scream, 'cuz it ain't gonna do ya any good."
**"No one can see this side of me. Not now, not ever. I… I just can't…" **
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