Date: October 31, 2012
And you thought Navi was a pest…
"What If? Get in the Game - A Boy and His Fairy"
"OI!!! WAKE UP LAD!!!"
Jon jerks awake and rolls off his bed with a thud. x.x He rubs his head through his conical green cap. It's bad enough having nightmares about monsters and a dark man and a sword and some glowing golden triangle thing without having somebody wake you up with a shout in your ear. >.<; Speaking of, who on earth was that, there's nobody here now — suddenly a glowing grey orb with wings zips in front of Jon's face. o.o; "You're th'lad wi'out a fairy, right? Well it's your lucky day, from now on y'got me! Scruvi's th'name, just follow my lead an' I'll make sure everythin' goes spiffin' for ya. Come on, th'Great Deku Tree wants to talk t'ya, somethin' about a great evil an' a prophecy an' savin' th'world."
"Oh, you're leaving…"
Jon halts suddenly and looks over his shoulder. How could he have not seen Saria standing there on the bridge? c.c "I always knew you'd be leaving the forest someday…it's because you're not like the other children. But that's okay, we'll still be friends forever, won't we?" Saria smiles wanly and holds out her hands. "Here Jon, I want you to have this ocarina. Think of me when you play it, okay?"
Jon slowly reaches out and accepts the clay instrument. He knows Saria has more than one of these things, but still, it's a precious gift, and he has to tell her how much he apprec —
"O' course we'll think about ya! 'Ow could we forget such a cute face, eh? Don't you worry none, lass, Jonny-boy'll be back before ya know it, wi' tales o' darin'-do inspiahed by th'thought of comin' 'ome to ya!" ;)
Jon blinks up at the fairy, then sighs and heads out on his journey. -.-
Jon didn't mean to surprise her, but he'd been treading softly for so long to evade the guards getting in here. She turns from the window with a fearful glance over her shoulder, then her eyes widen even more in a different sort of expression. "Oh my! Is that…a fairy? Are you the one from the forest, with the Spiritual Stone?!"
Jon digs the Kokiri Emerald from his pocket and holds it forth to ask if this is what she mea —
"Bingo! Jonny-boy an' Scruvi, adventurahs extraordinaire, at yer 'umble sahvice, yer 'ighness. Just point us at th'problem an' we'll give it th'blinkin' billy-oh!"
Zelda clasps her hands together. "That's wonderful! I knew my dream meant something important!" Zelda fills them in on her prophetic vision, the desert king Ganondorf who was worming his way into Hyrule's confidence in order to find the sacred Triforce, and her own plan to get to it first. "So, can I depend on you to gather the other Spiritual Stones and get the Triforce?"
"We're on th'job, yer royalness! By th'way, this gig does involve th'Standard Hero Reward fer Jonny-boy, right? 'Aven't 'eard of it? Ask yer dad sometime, he'll explain." ;)
"Fairy boy! It is you, isn't it? It's been years!"
It certainly has for Malon, though Jon wound up sleeping through most of it, sealed away in the Temple of Time after Ganondorf outmaneuvered Zelda's plan and seized the Triforce of Power. Every time Jon thinks he's starting to get used to the transition, he runs across something which throws him off-balance again. This meeting is certainly no exception, suddenly seeing Malon all grown up and —
"Absence makes th'heart grow fondah, they say! Jonny-boy's been awful busy savin' th'world an' such, but 'e was beggin' so much to come an' see you, I finally 'ad t'squeeze it into 'is schedule." n.n
Jon is about to protest Scruvi's account of what brought them here, but he's interrupted by a horse's nose nuzzling against him. "Looks like Epona remembers you too," Malon giggles. Then a look of inspiration and desperate hope fills her face. "Fairy boy, can I ask you for a really big favor? I want you to get Epona out of here. Mr. Ingo's been treating her awful, trying to break her so she'll be submissive when he gives her to that terrible King Ganondorf. It'd take half the rupees in Hyrule to convince Mr. Ingo to give her up, but maybe you could think of another way — ?"
Jon strokes Epona's neck thoughtfully. He'd certainly like to help Malon out, but he can't very well outright steal Epona, and he doesn't want to make a promise he can't —
"Leave it to Jonny-boy! He'll find a way t'snatch your beloved bronco right out from undah Mr. Grumpy's mustache. An' someday he'll be back t'whisk you away too." ;)
Jon groans inwardly, then checks his wallet. Maybe if Ingo's a gambling man…
"You're a terrible man for keeping me waiting for so long, you know that?" ;3
Oh, deku nuts. C.C; Jon hadn't grasped what Ruto meant by 'engagement ring' when she gave him the Zora's Sapphire seven years ago, or why it made Scruvi so gleeful, but now he's starting to grasp what a huge problem he has to deal with. Now he has to explain to the pretentious fish princess how he really doesn't want to marry —
"Oh, we couldn't risk th'scandal for a lady o' your royal responsibilities, even though Jonny-boy was longin' t'be wi' ya every day." ;) Jon's gotten used to Scruvi painting things in his own outlandish light, although it occurs to him now to wonder how he can talk here UNDERWATER without a Zora tunic. Do fairies not need to breathe air? That'd explain how Scruvi can keep up such a steady stream of jabber. e.e
"Oh, my responsibilities! That's right, this isn't the time to talk about love!" Ruto points at Jon imperiously. "Jon, the monster in the center of the Water Temple is what's keeping Zora's Domain locked in ice! I need you to go destroy it! This is a request from your future wife, so you have to do it!"
Jon was going to do that anyway, but — "O' course! Can't 'ave a royal wedding wi' all yer subjects frozen stiff, can we? Jonny-boy'll chop that crittah into crabmeat, then we can get started on th'festivities!"
Ruto clasps her hands tightly and beams at Scruvi. "Yes! We'll have the entire Domain come to witness our vows!" 8D
"Wi' a huge feast an' dozens o' bards t'play love songs!"
"Yes, and the fanciest decorations and a giant cake and — hey, where'd Jon go?" c.c
"Oh, er, must've gone on ahead 'cos he's so eagah t'get th'job done and claim 'is reward. Oi, Jonny-boy, wait up!"
Good grief, that was a nightmare. -.- An entire fortress full of female thieves trying to catch Jon and carve him to ribbons, and all the while Scruvi was flirting with them on his behalf. But now he's out in a ruined temple in the middle of the desert, back in his childhood to boot, so at least he should only have to worry about monsters and traps for a little whi —
"Oi, look ovah theah! G'day miss, you look like a lass wot needs some gentlemanly 'elp." :)
Jon forgot, Scruvi doesn't seem able to comprehend differences in age. -.-; That must be that second-in-command the Gerudo mentioned, Nabooru. She stands and turns suspiciously as Jon walks up. "What's a kid doing all the way out here? Did Ganondorf send you with orders for me or something?"
"Oh, er, aye, he says he wants you to train Jonny-boy 'ere in charmin' th'fillies."
Nabooru snerks. "Okay, no way a spy of Ganondorf would come up with such a ridiculous cover story. Look, I actually hate that jerk, and I'm working on stealing a treasure from this temple that could help me put a big dent in his plans. I got a problem, though, I was planning to get in using this hole in the wall, but it's smaller than I thought. I can't fit through, but maybe you can. You go in there and get the silver gauntlets for me, and…" Nabooru ponders for a moment, then shrugs and winks at Jon. "…I'll do something great for you!"
Jon stiffens into a poker face, unsure whether she just gave up on thinking of a specific favor, or was hinting at something dirty. ._. Scruvi, of course, takes a liberal interpretation, if still a bit naive. "One pair o' silvah gauntlets fer a date, y'got y'self a deal! Y'won't regret it neithah, Jonny-boy's worth it even without th'gauntlets, though he's always 'appy t'do a favor fer a lovely lady." ;) Jon just crawls into the hole to get away from it all. *.*
It's finally done. Ganon and his human vessel have been defeated and sealed within the Sacred Realm. Now Jon stands, somehow, in a limitless sky between worlds, alone with Princess Zelda.
"Crikey! That'll be one for th'scrapbook an' no mistake. Lessee, 'Second Date Adventure', aye, that's a good'un. Say, is it th'second date y'supposed to 'ave y'first kiss on?"
Okay, not quite alone. e.e Zelda smiles in faint amusement at Scruvi's antics, then focuses on Jon. "Thank you, Jon. Because of you, all of Hyrule is saved." Zelda's expression turns sorrowful. "I'm sorry I dragged you into all this…if only I'd known better than to try and control the Triforce. But I can fix everything now. I'll send you back to your childhood, for good this time. Go now, regain your lost time!"
Zelda puts the Ocarina of Time to her lips and begins to play. A glowing cylinder of light envelops Jon and Scruvi, and begins to lift them away. "Wait, 'ang on a tick! If we go back, that means y'won't remembah th'second date! Ain't theah a bettah waaaaaay?!"
Jon feels his feet touch stone in the Temple of Time. The Master Sword is ensconced firmly in its pedestal, the gateway to the Sacred Realm is closed, and all is quiet. Scruvi looks around. "Huh. Guess that's that. Well, we saved th'world, just like the ol' tree wanted…an' it turns out you're not really a Kokiri, so y'don't need a guardian fairy…so I guess this is it. So long, Jonny-boy, try'n remembah all th'lines I taught ya." The little grey orb floats off toward the window and is lost in the bright sunlight.
Jon heads outside, walking slowly. His world has gone from the little village of the Kokiri to such a big, wild place, and now he's adrift in it, for once not being told by some higher power what he needs to do. But then, maybe that means he can do anything now. Well, for right now, he'll be content with breathing deep of the fresh air and —
*WHAP!* A familiar weight smacks into the back on Jon's head. "S'prise! I got t'thinkin', Jonny-boy, I ain't got nothin' bettah t'do, so let's 'ang out a while longah! I mean y'still ain't settled down wi' a good lass yet, 'ow can I leave ya 'angin' in this state? Th'good news is, we got an idea wot works an' wot doesn't wi' a lot o' th'fillies around 'eah, an' we can start ALL OVAH on impressin' 'em! I think we should start wi' that blue lass, you almost 'ad 'er before she turned into a Sage, although we need anothah excuse t'get 'er magic rock thingummy, woddoya think about gettin' a big pack o' wolfos an'…"