Starring:
Date: February 14, 2012
Summary:
A three exhibition match is conducted between men of the west, north, and east with the prize being none other than…!?!
"First Promotion Exams - Kampai! Ryoji vs. Kira vs. Takeshi"
Sunadome Arena - Fighting Ring [Sunagakure]
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From the ground floor of the arena, one can truly get a sense of the sheer size and spectacle of the place. At its widest point, the colosseum is nearly a mile in circumference, and the domed ceiling is roughly fifty stories overhead. Needless to say, trying to take it all in can be dizzying. The floor of the arena is made up of a number of massive rolling sand dunes, about a hundred fifty feet tall at their tallest point. In the very center of the arena, a simple, well manicured lawn of green, rather like an oasis, marks the primary battle spot. The lawn is a little larger than a standard boxing arena, and is even equipped with a small pond, no more than five feet across.
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Ryoji must've been half-way out of his mind to actually think it'd be a good idea to set up an exhibition three match. But then again, the Iga never really was the type to stay within the realm of the sane whenever an all to interesting idea popped into his head. Thus barely a hour past noon everything was to begin. The barrier neatly in place, a table with three chairs set dead center of the arena, and some random no name proctor/medic guy at the edge of the field just standing around impatiently to get things over with. Ryoji on the otherhand had was sitting at one of the tables with a half empty bottle of warm sake in one hand and a whimsical mask in place. As soon as the others arrived and would /hopefully/ take a seat (or just stand nearby stubbornly) the Iga would casually brush back his hair with his free hand before coughing into the same hand. "Gentlemeeeen~ I haz a propozition for ya both! Eto." He paused to eye them look them both over. "A bit of a combination of things if you will that I'm sure that'd slack your thirst while your here in Suna… What say you?! Eto"
<
Yotsuki Kira is neither famous nor rich! So turn away ladies, nothing to see here.
With that out of the way, he was sitting at one of the tables, idly, looking at the other two and well, holding a also half empty bottle of sake.
"I have no idea what he said. But can I beat him up now, or are you going to make me wait longer?" He asked no one in particular.
Takeshi was also sitting at the table, but he had already downed three bottles of sake, surpassing the iga and the kira. Now, the elder was working on his fourth bottle and it was halfway done, except that the man shows no sign of being drunk, what-so-ever. There's a yawn, the elder staring back at Kira and blinking, "Huh? Oh, that was the second part?"
"Nonononononononononononooooo~ Eto." Ryoji exclaimed, waving his hands in front of frantically yet somehow leisurely in front of him before slaming both hands down against the table; cracking the bottle in the process. "Lis.. Listen first, neh? I wantz to make a bet with you twoz… Ya know, a wager~ Neh!? Eto." He asked grining from ear to ear before realizing he repeated himself.
"Ahz, but I said that already… Hmm.. Right! Ya see that bottle waaaay over there in that smexy lady's hand? That right there took me forever to get and is second only to the very, very, veerrry best brew in the world.. But it'd be borin just to perserve, sell it, or drink it alone.. so I was thinking. We each take these bo… What the!? Where's the frick — Oi! Ichi, Ni, Sango! Get ya butts over here with the brews!", Ryoji cried out at one of the entrance. Almost an instant later three woman from each of the men's (and sorta man?) respective country poof'd into existence bearing closed bottles.
"Ah hah! Knew ya girls were here somewhere. Alright, just to make this little fight interesting.. Those bottles that these fine ladies are holding are each the strongest stuff each one of our homes have to offer.. What we gonna do with them though is this. Each time one of us take a hit, we got at least take a sip of that before we can keep goin. And don't worry bout break'nem or pouring them out. Those been specialized sealed to protect them from that type of stuff… So, what'cha think on that?! Eto"
Kira looks at Takeshi first, and then at Ryoji, holding the half empty bottle. "What!? What kind of preposterous…" Gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, "Aaa… presopostopous wager is that?!" A pause… "Fine. I accept."
He slams a fist into the table himself now, cracking the table, and not the bottle.
"CAN I PUNCH YOU NOW?"
Takeshi nods, "I see. I agree to this bet then."
The elder reaches up to take his bottle from the woman, likely someone he knows from Kirigakure, and nods, drowning the rest of his fourth bottle of sake. "Fine then, let's get this game on." The elder leans back in his seat, the bottle in hand, waiting for one of the other two to make the first move.
Ryoji clapped his hands together and cried out excellent before kicking the table up as he flipped back to take his own bottle in passing. The moment each of them had their bottles in hand, the first seal keeping the top close burns away. "Right gentlemen! Though this be a fight between men, semi-man, and beasts, let us all go at this freely yes!? Eto." He yelled before his hair ripped itself free from their binds and started to attack both chuunin head on. Hit or miss, their retreat during the hair spears retreat Ryoji starts to charge at Kira first to try and get him with a flying kick to the head while tossing back at the last moment a sharp rock at Takeshi's eyes!
Kira is pretty much all nonsense and things until he notices Ryoji's… uh.. hair… — Kira looks at his bottle as if questioning the reality of what he just saw. "Are you oka… OH!" He suddenly exclaims as he notices the hair trying to spear him, ducking under it and then to the side of the kick.
"There I was, worried that I may have accidentally shocked you or something before the time came." He said with a sigh before rushing towards Ryoji, to repair the favor in kind. With a neat punch to the face- cause that's how real ninja do it.
He'd turn around quickly then, and throw a kunai at Takeshi — followed by another ordinary looking, but very much not ordinary, and in fact lightning charged kunai.
Takeshi doesn't move from his seat, the bottle held in his hand as the attacks come at him. All of the pass over his body with no effect, the last one managing to hit and hurt, the lightning arcing from it and indicating that he had been hit. "Well, sucks to be me."
The elder reaches for a cup and pours a shot, taking one from the bottle of Kirigakure stout, the bottle going back to the hostess as he stands, scratching his head, "Alright, I guess I should get serious."
The elder breathes in, a long moment and then breathes out, a burst of fire covering the table and kunai appearing from it, streaming towards his enemies. As the fire ends, he stares at each in turn, his eyes seeing to go in and out of focus.
With his chuck norris level strength, Kira punches straight through the hastily piled up barrier of hair Ryoji created to block it and sent him flying… with a bit of aid from his own legs pushing off from the ground. Mid-flight Ryoji is casually takes a sip of his bottle while curling a arm behind his head as if to rest. "Hnn… Ei-hime's not gonna like that if it bruises." Ryoji muttereted thoughtfully. He gasped sharply in pain from the buring kunai digging straight into his arm!
"… Hnn… Man, that looks daaaaan-ger-rouz~" Ryoji drawled before trying to clup Takeshi over the head with his bottle! Hit or miss, or better yet, hit and do nothing more than midly annoy the chuunin, Ryoji would try again! And almost again, but decide after the second strike to stagger away from Takeshi. "..Ba.. Ba… Bakamono! Baka baka bakaaaa~ Hehehe-whooo-weeee~ Kira-chan! I darez you to catch this!" From out of his sleeves a make shift spear is produced. "With ya teeth!" And he chucks it, falling over in the process.
With his chuck norris level strength, Kira punches straight through the hastily piled up barrier of hair Ryoji created to block it and sent him flying… with a bit of aid from his own legs pushing off from the ground. Mid-flight Ryoji is casually takes a sip of his bottle while curling a arm behind his head as if to rest. "Hnn… Ei-hime's not gonna like that if it bruises." Ryoji muttereted thoughtfully. He gasped sharply in pain from the buring kunai digging straight into his arm!
"… Hnn… Man, that looks daaaaan-ger-rouz~" Ryoji drawled lazily, then frowned sharply and started brushing away something around his head. "What the he…! You!" Thoughtless Ryoji tried Takeshi over the head with his bottle! Hit or miss, or better yet, hit and do nothing more than midly annoy the chuunin, Ryoji would try again! And almost again, but decide after the second strike to stagger away from Takeshi. "..Ba.. Ba… Bakamono! Baka baka bakaaaa~ Hehehe-whooo-weeee~ Kira-chan! I darez you to catch this!" From out of his sleeves a make shift spear is produced. "With ya teeth!" And he chucks it, falling over in the process.
Kicking away the table, Kira turns in one smooth move grabbing the edge of his cloak and pulling it in front of him to meet the flaming kunai- a spark leads to a explosion of flames that washes over Kira, who remains unharmed — as does his cloak. Ryoji's shout only draws Kira's intention, who does catch the spear, with his cloak, which almost sounds as if the spear hit metal- and as the spear flies up into the air, Kira kicks it straight on, sending it back at Ryoji, before turning his attention to Takeshi- at whom he….
At whom he…
Crap, just throws kunai again.
Kira is busy drinking whether he was hit or not.
"This stuff ish gooooood."
Takeshi watches Ryoji with mild interest as he rushes in, the bottle banging against the elder, cracking but causing no damage, then a second bottle comes in and the elder raises a fist, smashing through the bottle and slaming against Ryoji's head. The kunai serve as little more than a mild annoyance, the elder quickly moving one foot back, his body turning with it, the kunai streaming past harmlessly. "haha, good."
He looks over at Kira and mutters something, his eyes growing large and then, he shuffles around to try and slam two palms into Ryoji's side before simply disappearing.
Ryoji going missing wasn't exactly… surprising, but Ei had taken the time to find him. Enough time for him to cause some trouble, it seemed. She had peered in through one of the entrances for some time before gliding over to the Sunagakure woman and politely requesting to take the bottle from her. At first, the girl didn't want to outwardly explain why, but when the woman initially refused, Ei had simply frowned and told the woman calmly but venomously that if she didn't get the hell away from her boyfriend, there would be another fight after the boys were done. That made the nameless woman sneer and thrust the bottle at her before turning to walk away.
The girl simply gave a polite smile and thanked her before refocusing on what was happening. She held the neck of the bottle, keeping it held out slightly in front of her as she waited…
Despite being a little dazed as he was from taking a bottle to the skull while having his own broken, Ryoji still had enough sense to drop the rest of the bottles and start flashing through a few handsigns as his own kunai started flying back to him. "Wait… was it ram then squirrel? Or squirrel then monke — " His words are cut off, courtesy of a not so friendly kunai lodged into his skull. "…Neh, Takeshi-san. Didn't that looked like it hurtz?", Ryoji asked with a beamed at Takeshi — for about five seconds before the Kaguya decided to slam his palms ALSO inconviently (thanks to Ryoji thinking it'd be a good idea to stay crouching as well) in the face and send him flying away again. "…. Hnn… I'm start'n to think this was a vewy bad ideaz now… WOMAHZ! BRINGZ — " He hits the ground rolling a few meters before springing off and trying to hit KIRA'S face with an explosive chakra strike — TO THE FACE! "MOREZ WINZ DANG IT!!" He calls out the last bit mid-strike and either regardless of how Kira decides to defend himself! Unless it involved counter punching ryoji in the mouth hard enough to cave it in before it bounced cartoonishly back.
From there, Ryoji retreated would try to retreat while blindly groping behind him for his new bottle.
Ever seen Godzilla? Well, nevermind.
MOVING ON.
Kira hears sounds. Well, that's vague. Only Kira hears sounds. So what the hell does he do? He makes a shounen leap of faith. Yep, there he is, leaping into the air and doing a impossibly long summersaulting leap, and falling also impossibly long.
And once he lands, he headbutts Ryoji's fist. YES. HE HEADBUTTS THE FIST. But apparently that only makes him dizzy.
And worry not. Even as he is about to punt Ryoji with a kick, he is already chugging from the bottle that he picked up from the girl somewhere on the way.
Oh, and did I mention how he tries to punt Ryoji? Yep. Like a real ninja.
By the way, where did Takeshi go? Damn quitter. Little does Kira know, that Takeshi is right there, Kira's just not paying attention to him.
Oh, and did I mention Kira tries to kick Ryoji? Well, he tries to do it /AGAIN/.
Takeshi was there, just outside of Kira's perception, but Ryoji knew. Still, Ryoji has his own problems and once the two of them separate to contemplate their next moves, that was when the elder made a move. Suddenly interjecting himself behind Kira, his fist already raising from its place and attempting to bear down upon Kira's shoulder and then punch through. The dreaded snap strike. It was time to give Ryoji a break and make Kira feel something.
Ei considered how to react for a moment before holding the bottle out into the Iga's hand. "Here you are, Ryoji-dono~" she offered cheerfully. That caused her to get strange looks from both of the other women who were holding out their respective bottles. As if ignoring this, she glanced between them and promptly asked, "So… where are you ladies keeping the other bottles?" Thankfully, the Kumo-native was kind enough to point to the case. Giving a thankful bow, the girl shifted to retrieve another, only to turn and sigh at the proceedings.
NEW CHALLENGER!?!
That is pretty much exactly right because mere moments before the punch-er-kick would've kicked planted itself firmly in Ryoji's face, Shun appears out of nowhere. Unlike her master however she doesn't go flying goofily just for giggles. She -did- at least leer balefully at Kira and would've stuck around to try and counter the Yotsuki's second kick with a knee to the chin if not for Ryoji yanking her out of the way as while getting /himself/ clear as well.
Idly without even glancing back at Ei ryoji grunts a thank you and took a swig of the new bottle before forcing down some of its contents down Shun's throat. "Chugga Chug Shun-kohai~ You getta hit, you take a swig~ Swing and miss." He cackled maniacly even as Shun pushed him away and glared firmly at the 'older' Iga. "… What?"
"…."
"Yes I know this is a bad idea."
"…."
"And yes, I /do/ remember we nearly /did/ get ourselves killed twenty times trying to get the bottle in the first place."
"…."
"…. Wait, was that Ei-him just now?" Ryoji turned to look back — "FOR KAMI'S SAKE FOCUS RYOJI-DONO!"
"Right-o, focusing nowie~" And thus, that is exactly what he did to his chakra after a quick ram sign.
"…. I hate you… so much right now…"
Kira stands stoically still.
Takeshi does something to his back.
Kira stands stoically still.
…
Profit?
"OH CRAP! THAT FRAKKING HURT!" Kira suddenly shouts out as he falls to the ground, and rolls around, conveniently crawling over towards the Kumo girl, and being handed the bottle, he hugs it, intermittently chugging down some of it's contents.
"SO FREAKIN' MUCH! IT HURT! Did ya shee what he did to me? He freakin' touched me! He's older than me! Think I should call Social Services? Or the Police?!" The Kumo girl looks mortefied.
Kira stands up, and runs towards Takeshi.
"APOCALYPSE STYLE: HOLOCAUST KICK!" Kira yells out, some bogus jutsu name, and then tries to kick Takeshi with enough force to send him flying real far.
"Ha, always wanted to yell that."
Takeshi nods at Kira, the fist having sunk into the other shinobi and sent him flying. The elder makes a motion, the kiri girl bringing him his bottle, the sip is taken and then there's a nod at Kira as he comes in with his apocalypse kick, which strikes the elder, pushing against the old man, pushing, pushing and then a pec flexes, sending kira backwards. A single pectoral. The elder brushes off that pectoral and looks around him, then back at the kiri girl, "I think I just felt a fly. Did you see a fly?"
Watching Shun, then Kira, the girl wondered inwardly why she was here. She was starting to feel as though she needed a drink of her own… Ei took a deep breath and refocused on the fight. Seeing Shun was not comforting, contrary to what one may imagine after the androgynous Iga had just saved Ryoji. After watching Takeshi, however, she immediately just accepted the inevitable. After all, it was not as though /she/ could help him so someone being able to was acceptable. Looking down at the new bottle in her hand, she shook her head, wondering what had prompted this fight.
"…… So, how long are we just gonna stare at them…" Shun asked dryly.
"Dunno… long as it takes for them to get too drunk to fight me…" Ryoji replied stoically.
"….. Wait, why are /you/ suddenly talking straight and not fumbling around?"
"Dunno… the miracle of superior body system compared to most fleshies?"
"…. I stand corrected."
"HUZ-QAH! Timez to get in on all this yeah!?!" Shun merely sweatdropped as Ryoji started flashing through handsigns like a maniac. "You know.. that's kinda unnecessary to do if your gonna—" "SSSHHH! I'm not losing my booze to these fooz!!" Just like a wildfire Ryoji's hair started to grow to unimaginable lengths, transformed into hands, THEN tried to pin down both Takeshi /and/ Kira. Hit or miss, some of the tendrils splinter off to try and stab both of them in the back.
Kira bounced off of Takeshi much like… failing to do a good comparison in the face of devastation. It does not make sense. Don't blame the narrator.
Standing stoically still once again with a expression that could sell as top seller cover page model work, Kira weathers the blows from Ryoji, mostly even failing to notice them as the slam into his apparently pretty awesome cloak. What is he, the Wizard of Oz?
"Let's try this then." Kira says as he retrieves a jar of some kind of sand. "I like red paint." He says as he breaks the jar across the floor, spilling some kind of red sand. "It's made of iron, y'know."
Kira then crouches down and places his hand against the red grain, and suddenly, there's a whip of electricity, and several nearby bolts and other metal objects get ripped or pulled from their previous position- flying towards Kira's hand— it happens nearly instantly, but from nothing, Kira was holding what appeared to be a whip, oddly sounding almost like a crackling chainsaw.
He looked towards Takeshi, and then snapped the whip back, cracking it, and followed by a blast of heat, the whip crashed down hard towards Takeshi with blinding speed.
Oh, and when Kira snapped the whip back? He accidentally may have caught Ryoji in it too.
Sorry, Ryoji.
Takeshi doesn't even move, not even so much as a blink, the hair smashing against his body with little to show for it, pulling back and then being yanked by the elder, thrown off to the side, idly curiosity apparenty on his face. This was going on way too long, he may be hard core, but he's still fifty damn it, and fifty year olds don't run around all day with the youngsters - at least, not most of them. It was time to end this bet. Ryoji was losing on his own, Kira more interested in him than the elder, so all that left was Kira, the single target.
Then there's a grin, a blood curdling grin, "I think it's time to show Sunagakure what it means to be kaguya." As Kira brings his whip around it slices through Takeshi, except that it only hits air, the after image left behind fading away with the sudden force. That was all it took, that one second and then the old man was behind Kira again, "THE LIL MAN AIN'T A PUSH OVER!"
And then he's gone again, this time in front of Kira and reaching forward with a palm. That was it, the elder's legendary hyuuga copy cat move, Rei, the eight trigrams, sixty four palms wanna-be - all to piss off the hyuuga, the kaguya's long lasting enemy.
*Chainsaw Noises*
"Shun… I've decided I do not like the sound of that." *Chainsaw Noises get closer* "…."
"… Shun-kohai?", Ryoji emitted and started to grope the empty space next to him. "… This… is gonna sting." A chakra barrier? Burned straight through! A barrier of hair with the strength of steel? Laughable. Flesh and bone? Not even worth mentioning beyond being seared just as easily as everything else he put in the way of the whip before being shocked half to death as well as launched away by he force of it all. Thankfully Shun at /least/ deemed that moment a good one to catch the poor smoking boy before dragging him the rest of the way past Ei, deeply annoye's not.. mine.."ed and muttering, "Glad..
He's not.. mine… now…"
Kira does not even, in fact, register that his whip may have done a number on poor Ryoji either as he turns around immediately to face Takeshi, already in a mid yell!
"IS YOUR CHEAP CARBON COPY NO JUTSU MORE POWERFUL THAN MY HEADBUTT, KAAAAAGUUUUUUYAA!?" It is such a melodramati scene as Kira slams his face straight into a barrage of fists and is sent flyiiiing across the room, still holding his bottle.
He chugs from it, as agreed, even though apparently a bit battered. "I wonder if I should stand up. That booze must be really good for me to be acting like an idiot."
Kira idly looks at his opponent, as if considering if it was worth it and then he just laughs out loud, putting a hand across his face.
"Aahaha, alright, I give up. That was fun, but I think I may have to look for a hot medic girl despite all the barriers. I am keeping the booze we were drinking so far." He says, and finally heads towards the exit waving a hand, especially to the crowd- and blows kisses at a few of the female attenders.
Yotsuki Kira, neither rich nor famous.
Takeshi just nods and takes the prize booze, the booze he was drinking and then grabs the kirigakure female, before he stalks off back to his hotel room.
In case it wasn't clear enough, Takeshi - Old School Gangsta
Ei was not annoyed, but was worried. She simply didn't know if she could step in without endangering herself in the process. Of course, her worries of that were quickly assuaged by the others leaving even as Shun dragged the other Iga to safety. At her words, the girl just watched before turning to follow after, still with the extra bottle of sake in her hand. "Of course you are," she murmured in response. She didn't mind taking care of him… but having a warning of having to do so would've been nice. "Where have you been, anyway, Shun-san?" Shifting to stash the bottle in her kimono, she would move attempt to help her carry Ryoji in any way possible… carrying his feet or something.
