Monkey Business


Atsuro, Ryuunosuke

Date: August 25, 2012


A lecherous monkey is making it difficult for women to enjoy the hotsprings. Ryuunosuke is tasked with apprehending the beast. He gets some much needed help along the way. But at the end he has doubts.

Poster's note: Profanity filtered in obvious places.

"Monkey Business"

Training Field then the Hot Springs (Female section)

Spring in Konoha a rather lovely time where the village flourishes with nature's beauty. Flowers bloom, trees liven and regain their vivaciousness and Ryuunosuke chases a beast throughout the village. Shifting the attention to the young genin and an elusive creature, villagers can see them shifting from rooftop to rooftop in a cat-and-mouse fashion. A few times they become grounded and run amuck through the streets. Vendors and what not might even find their merchandise littering the streets after Ryuu and his target come through. Ryuu would often offer a statement like "SosorrycleanituplaterIpromisegottagobye!" The chase ensued until Ryuu finally cornered the beast in the training grounds.
A rather large monkey, about Ryuu's height, dances with a wide goofy grin on its face as if this all had been a game. Ryuu grumbles "Damn ape." he cracks his knuckles. At the sound of the pop the monkey's expression becomes less playful and more mocking. It goads Ryuu with crude gestures and cackles. Ryuu's fingers twitch and he had to stop himself from shifting to making a handsign for a rather destructive jutsu. "Can't hurt the monkey….." Ryuu reminds himself. But he wonders how he's going to catch it. In his thought the monkey hurls something at him. Ryuu ducks narrowly avoiding what looks to be a kunai. Ryuu blinks in shock. The monkey had picked some up that were just lying around the training grounds. Ryuu eyes the monkey in a 'don't you dare' kind of way. Of course the monkey sneers and prepares to hurl another at Ryuu.

Don't worry, Ryuu, your savior is on his way!
From out of the nearby trees leaps Atsuro, followed shortly by Taizen. Landing in a slight crouch, Atsuro looks over to the ape. "Oh," he says, sharing a glance with Taizen, "Thought I smelled something weird." He sniffs again, then looks over to Ryuunosuke. "An alternative explanation?" he suggests. "So, you been practicing your clone technique or what, kid?" he asks through a smirk, then turns serious. "So, where did this guy come from? Need some help? I'm guessing he shouldn't have any weapons." Figuring that kunai might get thrown soon, he quickly takes a sword from Taizen, just in case he needs to do any blocking.
And of course, it does. Atsuro, all splendid and heroic, dashes over to Ryuu in an attempt to knock the kunai away with his sword.

Ryuu sweatdrops at another foreboding feeling that begins to accumulate in his stomach. 'I feel a disturbance in the force.' would've been the ideal line here. Atsuro's arrival confirmed this feeling and Ryuu would curse his luck. Atsuro's taunting and teasing were no better than that of the monkey's. In fact the monkey appeared to laugh a little at Atsuro's remark. Ryuu glares at the monkey then Atsuro. "As if one wasn't enough….." Atsuro's deflection of the kunai entertained and delighted the monkey. It found this to be a game. "Noooo I had everything under control-" ~whiz~ a shuriken flies by Ryuu's head now. The monkey had gotten its hands on more shinobi tools. And like a child with a new toy it couldn't wait to play with them. Atsuro and Ryuu would find themselves under a barrage shuriken and kunai.
"Just like you had that sliver under control, huh?" Well, there was a brief break, but Atsuro's smirk is already back. "C'mon, you've got a master swordsman and a master dog at your disposal — eh, your /control/ — now." He steps forward, swinging and twisting the sword all about to try and block the monkey's attacks. "Be a leader!" he says 'inspiringly,' "Observe, orient, decide, act. First you gotta stop the monkey from throwing berries at you. Then you gotta capture it. Or give it the banana, or whatever it is you're here to do. See, I'm taking orders, because I don't know what the situation is, aside from the obvious."

Ryuu blinks at Atsuro who is being rather helpful, in his own weird little way. "Ok fine." Ryuu says as Atsuro spins and deflects the swords. He looks to Taizen then to Atsuro "We can't really hurt it. Or it's prefered that we don't. This guy has been causing trouble and the women's section of the Hot Springs." Ryuu explains. Ryuu shakes his head "Anyway we gotta capture it then we're told what to do with it next after some kind of expert shows up." Ryuu adds. He rubs his head. The monkey had run out of peanuts to throw that is lethal anyway, and claps apparently applauding Atsuro's sword expertise. Ryuu "Ok let's surround him before he tries to escape." Ryuu suggests before breaking off, in formation with Atsuro and Taizen, to surround the monkey. Once done the monkey would just sit there and shift sight between the trio.

"The hot springs?" Atsuro repeats. He gives the monkey a slow nod of acknowledgement, "Perhaps you are more man than you seem after all." He glances over to Ryuu. "How strong do you think he is?" he asks, "I know, I know. I'm as strong as I am handsome. But I hear monkeys are strong too. What if our friend here is as strong as he is smelly? Even the three of us won't be able to hold on to him." Regardless, Ryuu's plan seems like a pretty good one, so he and Taizen spread out to surround the monkey along with Ryuu. Both look over to Ryuu, waiting to see if he'll give some kind of signal.

"He's more of a quick one than strong one it seems. But he's still a monkey, they're naturally stronger than most humans." Ryuu adds. "Still if we can pin him down I should be able to tie him up." Atsuro's nod of acknowledgement gets a roll of the eyes form Ryuu. "Perverts…." Ryuu looks between the monkey and Atsuro. He sighs and inches closer to the monkey. The monkey seems proud of the fact. It blushes and snickers. Ryuu holds up three fingers and as they inch closer to the monkey he'd count down. At one they'd spring for the beast with the intention to overwhelm it. Of course when they do so the monkey would pull a bit of a shocking technique. When they grab hold of it the monkey would poof into a cloud of smoke and a log would be left in its place. "Was that the….replacement technique?" The monkey would then be seen scampering off back into the village.

Atsuro nods. "That's what I was thinking. But between the three of us, we should probably be able to subdue him. Ninja!" He gives Ryuunosuke a grin. "Hey, I've always been the model hotsprings-goer. It's just that the poor guy is cursed to love human women and never have it requited. I'm sure you know exactly what that's like. Don't worry, I'll give you some tips when you're older."
Once Ryuu gives the signal, he and Taizen charge forth and grab the monkey, Atsuro attempts a half-nelson, while Taizen attempts to grab with his teeth. Atsuro finds himself hugging a log, and Taizen finds himself biting it. "Dammit," says Atsuro, "Must be a nin-monkey. C'mon, Taizen and I have still got the scent. And if we can catch up with him, Taizen will… uh, ensure that we never lose it." He waves Ryuu and Taizen onward after the monkey, giving chase himself too.

Ryuunosuke massages his temples in response to aggravation and thought. "I'm only 12. I've got more important things to worry about than women." He states. His eyes shut tightly. "Right Taizen has it's scent we can..WAIT!" Atsuro's blabbering before gave Ryuunosuke an idea. He waves to Atsuro "Heeeeey! I got an idea." Ryuu grins and walks over to Atsuro. He waves Atsuro down and looks to Taizen "Remember how you said he's cursed to never have his love requited?" Ryuu looks back to Atsuro. He then proceeds to give Atsuro the plan which, depending on Atsuro would lead them after the monkey or too the hot springs. After proposing the idea to Atsuro Ryuu looks on to the chuunin. "Well how's that sound?"

Ryuu whispers, "Well the guy obviously has it out for women so I was thinking we could use that. How about you henge into an attractive female and lure the monkey in at the hot springs. When his guard is down Taizen and I can swipe him." to Atsuro.

"Huh," says Atsuro, "Wish my students were more like you." Tempted as he is to chase after the monkey, he isn't averse to having an actual plan here either. He listens to Ryuu and nods. "Fair enough," he says, "I can't help but wonder if you just want me to crossdress for some reason, but I'm secure enough in my masculinity and all. And it's probably easier to ambush him than chase him through the village." He sighs and shakes his head. "Only for you, Ryuunosuke," he says, making a seal. There's a pop and a puff of smoke, then Atsuro's gone, replaced by a lovely female ninja with flowing black hair. "You guys go ahead to the hotsprings, and I'll get him to come to you." With that he's off to seduce the monkey, leaping into the trees and following the scent.

Ryuu chuckles at Atsuro and gives him a thumbs up "Thanks. I owe yah." With that Ryuu and Taizen head off into the hot springs. Of course they'd have to find a way to sneak into woman's section. Luckily the springs weren't too busy this time of day. Not to mention the disturbance the monkey has been causing has deterred the usual goers. Ryuu has a net rather sturdy and quite efficient for catching wildlife. He and Taizen await Atsuro patiently. Ryuu, to pass the time, chats with Taizen even though he knows he can't understand Taizen. "I didn't think he'd go for it. Either he actually likes me or you've got one strange partner Taizen-kun." Ryuu says chuckling softly.
Taizen barks a little in response to Ryuunosuke, though of course, he can't be understood. He doesn't mind the company, regardless of any communication problems they might have with each other.
After a little bit of tracking, Atsuro has found the monkey again. "Boy!" he says loudly in his best woman voice, "I sure am sweaty from training all day in the hot sun." He makes a show of wiping sweat from his forehead. "I think I'll go to the hotsprings for a nice, relaxing dip. I'll finally get to try out my new swimsuit." Once he's sure he's gotten the monkey's attention, he starts leading him through the village to the hotsprings.
Once he's arrived, he heads through the change rooms, politely averting his eyes from any women who might be there, and walks into the springs. Spotting Ryuu and Taizen, he gestures for them to get in position, then moves a ways out from the door where he'll hopefully be seen by the monkey as he exits the changerooms.

Ryuu nods to Taizen, pretending to understand. "Yeah he isn't such a bad guy. I should cut him some slack." Ryuu sighs "As far as smartasses go…." The monkey fell for Atsuro's gag. It was working perfectly so far. The monkey followed the henged Atsuro right into the springs. Of course when Atsuro entered the monkey took its usual path to get the perfect peeping spot. But Ryuu spotted Atsuro and nods. He and Taizen get into position and get ready to spring. Meanwhile the monkey spots Atsuro exiting the changeroom. It crouches perched on a rock in the springs. The monkey 'hides' behind the rock waiting and watching. It's not too far away from Atsuro, in fact he would not only be able to see the monkey but if he wanted to he could approach it.

Seeing Ryuu and Taizen get into position, Atsuro forms a plan to keep the monkey distracted, while also getting close by as well, just in case the others can't handle things themselves. Moving into position is easy enough, if he's subtle about it. Keeping the monkey distracted… well, that's another, slightly more perverse issue. Doing his best to keep the monkey's attention without debasing himself too much, he calls out, "Hm! Which part of the hotsprings looks best? I'll have to find somewhere before I change into my bathing suit." He walks over to the water, bends down, and looks in. "Hmm!" he says, then moves along the water's edge to another spot, where he does the same thing, making his way closer and closer to the monkey.

Ryuu deadpans at Atsuro and shudders. "Even though I know it's him this is kinda weird…" Ryuu sighs. The monkey meanwhile can't help but become even more interested with Atsuro's little performance. It leaves the rocks and approaches Atsuro slowly from the side. The monkey seems to be eyeing something. Its hands extend outward as if it was squeezing something. Ryuu gets ready to go when he sees the monkey approach Atsuro. "That's a weird gesture. What is it doing? Bah never mind. Get ready Taizen." he says. Ryuu grips the net tight and waits a bit longer until the monkey is almost upon Atsuro. He'd wait for Atsuro to pull one more stunt to clench the poor monkey. The Monkey was pretty affixed on Atsuro. It's cheeks are red and it ogles Atsuro intensely. A sweat drop goes down the side of Ryuunosuke's head. He was hoping this worked.

No kidding. Atsuro would have some rather choice words for Ryuu if he weren't in the midst of a ruse. He's kneeling by the water again as the monkey starts coming for him. Suppressing a shudder at the squeezing motions, he gets to his feet and faces the monkey. Just a little bit longer…
"Oh my!" he says, "What a fine-looking monkey. How I'd love to feed him bananas and stroke his fur." He puts a finger to his chin, as if suddenly having an idea. "Wait," he says, "I think I saw a banana in the change room. You stay right there, monkey, and I'll get it for you." He begins to walk off, checking over his shoulder to be sure the monkey isn't following him."

The monkey figured he was busted when Atsuro turned and confronted him. It blinks a few times then blows steam from its nostrils. Atsuro had done it now. As he walked away the monkey followed or was about to until Ryuu and Taizen spring on it now feeling the time was right. It wasn't pretty with the monkey squirming and flailing. Ryuu got hit in the head a few times but the monkey couldn't break free of the net. It had been captured finally. It sits with a defeated look in its face in the net. Ryuu chuckles "How do ya like that!?" he teased the monkey. He folds his arms and looks to Taizen before beaming. Then came Atsuro. "Nice job. You're quite the charmer." Ryuu fights a snicker or two. "Let's get him to the Hokage's look out. The specialist should be there waiting for me."

Finally glad to be finished with this, Atsuro makes a seal, and returns to man-Atsuro once more. "Thank god," he says. He looks down at the monkey. "I actually feel a little sorry for him. Don't worry, monkey, I'm sure wherever they're taking you will have plenty of food and beautiful monkey ladies. If not, I'll send you some magazines." He gives Ryuunosuke a grin. "Hey, nobody can resist me. I just never realized it was a cross-species thing until now. Anyway, I think you owe me lunch. I have to drink beer and pig out now to restore my manliness." He goes over to the netted monkey and he and Taizen will help Ryuunosuke move him wherever he needs to be moved."

"Magazines? What kind- never mind I don't want to know." Ryuu states waving a hand at Atsuro. Ryuu nods to Atsuro's suggestion. "Deal. I'll treat ya right after we drop him off." With that said he and Atsuro would move the monkey over to the Hokage's lookout. There was a carriage with a cage on the back out in front of it and a rather portly man standing in front of it. As Ryuu and Atsuro show up the man jeers. "Oh there he is. Ohohoho Django good to see you again." the Portly man rushes up to Ryuu and Atsuro (as fast as a portly guy can at least) and shakes their hands. "When I heard a lecherous monkey was causing problems in Konoha I knew it had to be him." the man smiles and looks at the monkey who doesn't seem too happy to see him. "I am Ganjo and I am grateful to the both of you. Django here is part of my little group." He laughs. Ryuu shrugs "Well no need to thank us. He was hard to catch but it's what we do." he glances to Atsuro. "Yes yes he's a slippery one. Managed to escape me a week ago. But no time to waste. We've got to get the show on the road." Ganjo heads over to the carriage and opens the cage. Ryuu and Atsuro would help load Django. Once there Ganjo would lock the cage. "Again I am very grateful to you both. I wish you well hehe." he bids them both farewells as he snaps the reigns. Ryuu nods and waves off. His eyes fall on Django who looks back to Ryuu and Atsuro. The monkey smiles then sighs "It was fun while it lasted." it spoke. The monkey spoke. Ryuu thought he was losing it and looked to Atsuro. The carriage would be a ways away now but Ryuu couldn't stop thinking about it. "A talking nin-monkey… was too weird." he shrugs and turns to Atsuro "Ok let's get your manliness back." he smiles.

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