My Hope


Fuuta, Yaezaki

Date: February 27, 2012


Fuuta's strange behavior is made clear to Yaezaki.

"My Hope"

Satetsu Apartments (Second Floor)

Yaezaki had waited one day and one day only before he had decided to check on Fuuta. Feeling guilty for waiting even that long before checking on his friend. But it had taken the boy that long to regain full control over his face and expressions. He was absolutely sure that the person or persona that had attacked him wasn't Fuuta but something else. What that something was…. he didn't have a clue but he had seen that tear as he was being choked, he'd seen the change in eye color. Fighting a shiver he came to the apartment door he knew Fuuta to have been staying in. His eyes show little more than lack of sleep and the little pinpricks of red from being choked. Around his neck he's wearing a scarf to hide his throat. A scarf he'd picked up from a local merchant so it's more attuned to the desert surroundings than the rest of him. Taking a slow careful breath he knocks on the door.

In the confines of his apartment Fuuta secluded himself. It was the only place people were safe from him. His outbursts of anger and rage have become more frequent although thankfully less powerful. His hands were blistered from the tightness of his fists. His eyes were blood shot from the lack of sleep and his form was paler than usual. If one would press their ears to the door they could hear soft mumbling. Had Fuuta lost his mind or was it something far less logical? His forearms are streaked crimson torn by the abrasion of his nails. Against the wall he sits curled up and wide awake waiting in fear.
He can feel it in the pit of his stomach. Teasing his nerves with its constant motion. Surfacing then diving and repeating the process over and over. It torments his soul to the point of no return. He'd rather kill himself than endure this hell a moment longer. He'd thought about it but every time he did his hand fell on the scar along his neck. A face, a familiar face appears in his head and then he becomes angry and then it gets dark and when the darkness is gone he's hurt someone. The cause for this was known however. Yes Fuuta knew what this was but in his arrogance he never believed it would happen to him. It was from his bloodline, something that plagued his clan. "Nogi blood" being a half breed he didn't expect it to be so strong and dominant. Suddenly there's a rapping at his door. Fuuta's eyes turn in horror to the door. It seemed close…too close. He could feel his hand itching for whoever was on the other side. To shred, to peel, to eviscerate, to massacre that's all it wanted. Fuuta slides away from the door and comes to a stand. "Who's there?" he calls out.

For a moment the thoughts returned that he was completely and utterly insane for doing this. Fuuta was not only an enemy ninja, but he'd tried to choke Yaezaki just the day before. Swallowing with a suddenly dry throat, Yaezaki hears the words and breathes a sigh of relief that Fuuta's here and not out wandering somewhere. He hitched the bag he was carrying over one shoulder and calls softly back. "It's me, Yaezaki. I brought you some stuff. Uh.. Can I come in?" His voice is sratchy and shows the damage that had been done the day before, but his tone doesn't seem to care about that or the pain of talking. He sounds concerned more than anything else. As he waits, he forces himself to keep his hands away from his weapons…. This was his friend damnit!

Never had terror taken the young man like it did now when Yaezaki uttered his name. -What's he doing here? I told him to stay away.- he thinks over in his head. The door seems to get closer to Fuuta now. -I should tell him to go away.- he thought again. It was the safest bet. But as soon as he thought such a thing, there was a voice to object it. A soothing yet sinister voice that whispered. A voice that chilled the young man down to his bone. A voice that set his insides ablaze. It was his voice. -Let him in. Go on. You won't hurt him. You're the GREAT Yoko Fuutama.- it patronized him. This angered Fuuta and as he became angry the voice grew louder. -What are you waiting for? Let him in. Don't keep him waiting. He's your friend. You'll lose him. You don't want to be….alone.- it spoke again.
Fuuta was standing right in front of the door hand hovering over the knob. He wasn't sure when he'd actually made any movement towards the door but there he was just about to open it. -Just do it. Turn it. Open it. Open it. Open it. OPEN THE DAMN DOOR! KILL HIM!- it rang with a pestering laughter that infected Fuuta with a brief moment of insanity. Madness. "Hehe…hehehe….haha….hahaha." he starts to laugh and grabs the knob. As he turns it slowly the voice grew soft again…anticipating a slaughter. "N-no." Fuuta snaps and turns slamming his back against the door keeping it shut. He'd almost given in. "G-go away Yaezaki." He says in a fleeting tone, he sounds out of breath. "You shouldn't be here."

Yaezaki hears the majority of the odd laughter through the door and it only serves to heighten his concern. So when Fuuta slams against the door and tells him to go away he finds his mind is made up for him….. "The hell I'm going away! I /SAID/ I brought you something now open the Sanddamned door Fuuta!" Yaezaki blinks at his own demanding voice, surprised by the voracity with which he's arguing. Fuuta was certainly a friend… He had helped Yaezaki… Now it was Yae's turn to help Fuuta. "Come one Fuuta…. Let me in. I brought some of these candies from the Land of Earth too, you should try some." He pauses a moment then. "I'm not angry…If that's why you're saying that… I'm not. I want to help." He lays a hand on the door sadly, wishing he could do the same on Fuuta's shoulder perhaps.

Fuuta blinks glancing back to the door as if he was looking into Yaezaki's eyes. "Hehe are you serious?" he laughs half maniacally Fuuta can only imagine how Yaezaki must feel but he didn't want to risk it. Letting the boy in could endanger him. Fuuta lowers his head figuring he wouldn't be able to get Yaezaki to leave. He sighs "J-ust…just…ok just wait a second." He leaves the door and moves to his bed. Fuuta sighs gathering a few things from his tool pouch. Yaezaki would hear a movement and grunts but when it was all said and done he'd hear Fuuta's voice. "Ok…you can come in."
When Yaezaki enters he'd find Fuuta secured to his bed by wire. His wrists, neck and legs were bound. He keeps his head down and looks away from Yaezaki. "Just leave it somewhere. I'll get to it when you're gone." He explains. He was sure Yaezaki would have a bit of a fit but it was the only thing he could think of.

Yaezaki raises an eyebrow at the sounds emanating from the small apartment wondering what the hell Fuuta was doing or thinking… Then he hears the permission to enter and he takes a breath. One last calming breath before he opens the door and steps inside. The sight that greets him puts him into so much shock that it's only by habit that he closes the door behind him. His mouth is just slack enough to constitute a small version of the jaw hitting the floor and his muscles tense in a sort of confused way. Of course Fuuta cannot see this if he's looking away…. Inclining his head, the iridescent bangs cover his eyes and he just stands there for several seconds, ignoring Fuuta's order to set the stuff down and leave.
Then a complete change comes over the boy. He sets the bag down beside the bed and walks to the kitchenette area. Fuuta can hear pans and bowls and water running then Yaezai heads over to the closet, tilting his head to one side as he surveys what Fuuta has for linens, only to go to the bag instead and pull out several white packets. All this is done in complete silence. Finally he kills the stove and pours the rather warm (but not hot) water into a bowl and brings it over to the bed along with his bag. Setting the water bowl on the bed stand, Yaezaki rips open one of the white packets, pulling out white gauze and dipping it into the water.
Only now, from this angle, can Fuuta see Yaezaki's eyes. Once they appeared as twin amethysts in the sunlight, glittering and bright. But now they're clouded and wet, focused but wavering. His face is a mask of concentration. Carefully, gently, he uses the warm, wet gauze to start washing away the blood on Fuuta's right arm, the one closest to him as he kneels beside the bed. He's very careful of the wire, allowing it to remain but not doing anything that could cause it to cut into Fuuta's flesh. As it was in the alley way, he shows a kind of knack for tending to the wounded (as long as it's not he himself that's wounded) and his soft touches cause little if any pain. First is cleaning. Then, once the true wound is exposed, the repair and bandaging could begin. Basic first aid. Even though he knows that and he knows he shouldn't be causing his friend any pain, he bites his lower lip hard and remains silent.

Fuuta takes Yaezaki's silence as a sign of compliance. Such a thought was almost too good to be true and it was. Hearing Yaezaki move Fuuta looks up wondering what the boy was up to. He inclines his head as much as he can "Uh….Yaezaki-kun? Leave the stuff here and go. It's not safe for you to…" he blinks as Yaezaki comes out with a pan. Fuuta's amber eyes reflect utter shock and confusion. Yaezaki's silence is a bit haunting now. The boy said he wasn't mad at him so the silent treatment had to be something else. Fuuta would keep quiet too though now. No sense in trying to reason with the boy.
Fuuta's current struggle at the moment is keeping his body at bay while Shigeru administers first aid. His restraints weren't made to last. They'd serve as hindrances so Yaezaki would have enough time to react before he'd be harmed. His wrist would start to bleed slight from the wire as his arms tugged against them. His hands are open as if trying to strangle Yaezaki once again. There is a bit of strain showing on Fuuta's face. His eyes are shut tightly trying to subdue this mindless rage.
Fuuta grunts slightly and opens his eyes looking to Yaezaki. "Stop. Please just go." He warns his friend. "I know you're trying to help but it's not something you can deal with." Fuuta starts to perspire a bit. His eyes flashing between lighter and darker hues. "Do you understand? I can't control my body any more. I can't distinguish between friend or foe….I will try and kill you."

Yaezaki continues his ministrations to the blood that’s visible and the pan of water starts to cloud with blood as he rinses the gauze out between passes. His brows furrow as he realizes the problem with the wire for restraint. He sees the blood at Fuuta's wrist and flinches, pressing his hand down against Fuuta's arm to keep him from doing damage to himself. "I can bind you better with ropes if you want but I'm not leaving." His tone is final and he stands up to go look for ropes in the apartment. Of course every shinobi would have rope in their mission packs and Yaezaki has some as well, but this way he doesn't have to cut either length at all. The method is simple. He runs the rope under and around each wrist and laces it through the frame of the bed. If this had been a traditional futon, there might have been some trouble but the western style of bed was far more conducive to bindings than the eastern beds.
Securing each wrist to the frame at waist level, he then moves on to the ankles, binding then individually to the two posts which leaves Fuuta with his legs spread and if the situation have been different.. Yaezaki shakes his head hard to destroy those thoughts. "There. Now I can remove these wires and help you even if you don't want my help." He seems to be colder than usual, set in his determination. There's a very matured sense of resolve in his aura and it clashes starkly with his typical smiling friendly nature.
Returning to his previous work he stars using the gauze again to clean the wounds on his arms. He'd left the right arm an dis focusing on the left arm now, waiting to see how badly the right arm bleeds while exposed to the air will help him determine what kind of bandages to use. He's no healer but he knows his way around first aid….

Fuuta sighs at Yaezaki's stubbornness. It angered him and causes him to growl in a feral tone at the young man. He was grateful that Yaezaki took the liberty to strengthen his restraints. He'd be unable to get out of these. He'd gotten to such a state that pain didn't register in his head. He seemed irate which wasn't out of the ordinary considering the situation but it did affect the nature in which he wished to speak with Yaezaki. Fuuta tests the restraints and tugs against them before glaring at Yaezaki. "Why won't you just leave? You're so stubborn." He comments. Fuuta groans as he tries to shift to a more comfortable position. He catches sight of the bloody water and grimaces at it. "You can stop already." He suggests. His eyes carry a mixture of a fleeting sullen appearance and a concern for his friend. "Why are you doing this?"

Yaezaki continues cleaning Fuuta's arms of blood then carefully applies a salve before he wraps each arm, left then right, in roll gauze which should protect him from furthering the injuries. Then he simply stands up, walks over to the pan of red water and carries it to the kitchenette again, pouring it down the drain and filling a smaller container by the sound of it with clean water. He doesn't move from his place at the sink for a few moments, silent and immobile. Finally he comes back and sets the container — a simple plastid glass — on the bed stand and kneels down beside him again as he did when he was cleaning his arms. "I want you to tell me what's going on, Fuuta. Why are you suddenly trying to kill me?" His voice has an odd timbre to it that's hard to place and his face offers no clues as to what he's thinking. The only real hint at understandable emotion is the tension in how he holds his shoulders.

Fuuta snarls at Yaezaki trying to bite back his bestial rage. "Does it matter why? You can't help!" he snaps. He didn't mean to be so blunt and blatant but he wasn't in much control. Yaezaki was the first friend Fuuta made. It was for this reason he didn't want the boy to get harmed by this…monstrosity. He sighs before groaning and pulling against his restraints again. "I'll humor you." He says with a smirk. Another groan and he settles a bit body glistened with perspiration. "The Yoko clan has two tribes. Nogi and Myo." He states. "The Nogi blood is wild and untamed. It's empowered by rage." Fuuta's eyes stare into Yaezaki wanting the boy to understand what he was dealing with. "When this happens it usually means one of two things: The Nogi tribesmen conquers and tames the rage or he's killed to protect the clan." Fuuta explains. "If you haven't noticed I'm losing."

Yaezaki simply stares at Fuuta as he snaps about not being able to help. It was clear he wasn't about to buy that line and the stoic expression softened only when Fuuta started explaining about his bloodline. He listens closely, keeping both interest and his stern expression unwaveringly until he hears Fuuta say he's losing. Then his amethyst eyes snap up and harden like the stones they resemble. His hand rises and comes down to slap Fuuta across the face. Hard. There's a hint of something darker in Yaezaki's eyes for just a split second then they seem to empty. Like a cup that pours out its contents, his eyes simply drain of all emotion. "That was for giving up."
He hadn't planned on this, in fact he'd planned to keep his throat hidden, but now he reaches up and pulls off the traveler’s scarf revealing marks ranging from dark purple to bright red as the bruises start to heal. Marks of course caused by Fuuta's own hand. A hand snakes out and grabs Fuuta's chin hard, turning his face towards Yaezaki. "Look what you did." His tone is calm but bears little accusation. "Now look at me." His grip turns softer but still firm and he tries to meet Fuuta's eyes. "I'm still alive. I saw it in your eyes yesterday, Fuuta. You didn't want to kill me and you don't have to." He releases Fuuta's jaw then and sighs softly. "You say you need to tame it, like it's separate from you… If it's separate then tame it like you would a child. Give it small doses of what it wants. You don't want to kill so give it something less. Taming an animal or a child is basically reaching an agreement with that thing. An understanding."

Being slapped by Yaezaki did wonders for the rage inside of Fuuta. He would growl and lash at Yaezaki. "What the hell was that for?" he questions. Yaezaki's answer shuts him up afterwards though. He watches the young man removes the scarf from his neck now. Fuuta didn't know what to think at first. Those bruises would haunt his mind long after they healed. He didn't want to look at them but Yaezaki was forcing him too. The anger rose steadily but the majority of Fuuta's mind felt guilt. It was for this very reason he wanted Yaezaki to keep his distance. He couldn't look at the boy anymore. He just shut his eyes and bit the corner of his lip. His lip bleed in the corner but he didn't stop biting down and his eyes never opened.
"You were lucky." He thinks to himself when Yaezaki speaks of still living. With his jaw released he turns his head to the side. His jaw relaxed and he pants slightly. He struggled once more against his restraints tormented by his own grief and the burning anger that twisted and churned in his stomach. When Yaezaki speaks of the rage being separate Fuuta snarls turning his head back to the boy his eyes searing with rage. "It's not that simple!" his scowl breaks and laughter takes the young man "A child? HA!" He pulls at his restraint. "I say tame because it's like a separate consciousness. But it's a part of me. My rage. My hate. My sorrow." His eyes narrow at Yaezaki "You can even begin to understand. That's why you're in danger." He lays back down seeming to have calmed down a great deal. His turn his head to the side again not really wanting to stare into the violet gems of Yaezaki. He could feel them on him though. He sighs "I never said I lost. I'm losing. I haven't given up yet." There is a long silence but it feels as if Fuuta wants to say something "But if I hurt you again…I'd lose hope. This thing wants to control me Yaezaki. That's all it wants."

Yaezaki mentally winces as he sees the anger in Fuuta's eyes but at least they're still that brilliant orange. He hadn't lost yet…. He could see the guilt in his eyes he could see the struggle. And it changed something within himself. This feeling went far beyond simply wanting to protect a friend. Such a thing he had even felt the day Fuuta had come to Sunagakure and choked on a mouthful of sand. Despite his laughter that day he'd wanted to help him. This was that and so much more. Yaezaki feels a rage of his own and his chest tightens painfully. The sensation is strong enough to make him put a hand to his shirt, clenching there and panting for a few seconds as he tries to figure out what just happened. And he knew then that he'd find a way to help his friend even if it meant his own demise.
Yaezaki had never felt such a feeling before. Sure, he'd been willing to offer himself as bait but those scenarios had offered honor and at worst case, honorable death. Here he feels he'd be satisfied without that honor. Even unto upseting or harming his family to aid Fuuta.
Several seconds pass and then Futa's talking again, explaining, telling him that it's not entirely separate. It wants to control him…. His eyes slip up to look over Fuuta's face and all that plays across those features. "You can't be losing, Fuuta. I won't let you lose. Hear me? You're not allowed to lose." Deep down Yaezaki understands how devastating it might be for one to lose hope but he's also not been exposed to such a thing before. His mind tells him if he is strong and if he believes in his friend's goodness, that Fuuta simply /can't/ lose.
Reaching over to gently brush away some hair from the closer side of Fuuta's face with his hand, Yaezaki takes a breath. "I believe in you, Fuuta. I trust you, Fuuta. Let me /be/ your hope." And then he reaches across to brush hair from the other side of his face, softly and carefully as a mother might comfort a sick child, his exposed wrist is by action extended over Fuuta's face.

Fuuta finds a smirk taking his face as Yaezaki tells him he's not allowed to lose. It was funny to Fuuta because he was speaking almost as if Fuuta was trying to lose. He wanted to win for his own reasons. He wouldn't let himself fall prey to this curse right here…not before he reunited his parents. Fuuta finds Yaezaki's hand gentle and the one soothing experience befalling him at the moment. Fuuta was dumbstruck when Yaezaki offered to be his hope. Fuuta was not thoroughly convinced there was something wrong with this young man. Why was he so persistent? Why was he so sacrificial? Why did leave himself so vulnerable? The last question alerts the violent rage inside Fuuta and his eyes locked on the Konoha shinobi's wrist. -Take him.-
Fuuta found Yaezaki's belief a bit misguided and didn't understand its foundation. Fuuta could see the image in his head now. As Yaezaki tried to comfort him with his petting he could lash out…just a bit and puncture the artery in the boy's wrist. He'd bleed out within seconds. Fuuta grins and subtly so subtly lifts his head. His lips part and his mouth open baring his teeth. They'd be sharp enough for this. -Take him.- the struggling and thrashing subsided as he was inches away from appeasing the rage and ending this torment. It was maddening. One couldn't be blamed for giving in….not under these circumstances. "Serves you right if you end up dead." He mutters only mere inches away from the kill shot. His head flies forward and his jaw locks as he makes contact with the young shinobi's flesh.
Upon Yaezaki's wrist were soft lips pressed gently. Fuuta's eyes closed and when they reopened the anger and malice was gone. His usual vibrant orange luster returned. He lowers his head back to the bed and sighs. The rage was quieted for now. Yaezaki's belief seemed to give Fuuta just enough to overcome the Nogi Blood. His body relaxes. "…I gotta piss. Untie me now." He demands. He starts to shiver "Hurry up damn it!" he yells at Yaezaki.

Yaezaki missed the danger to himself with such a simple action as brushing away the hair from Fuuta's face, exposing an artery to the beast's rage and placing it squarely within its range. Not until he notes the movement of Fuuta's lips as he bares his teeth. Time slows and he starts to pull his hand back only to feel the soft kiss placed over the vital point and the boy stills, purple eyes locked onto Fuuta's face with a tomato-deep blush. The tension in the room seemed to have quieted and Yaezaki's suddenly startled by Fuuta's demand to be set free and why. The young chuunin fumbles at first then just cuts the bonds with a kunai in a scramble to obey. Quite a switch from trying to give Fuuta orders not to give up to this. But the pressure in his chest is easing and he feels like perhaps there might have ben some small kind of victory here today… Thus he releases his possible attacker without hesitation…

Fuuta springs up as soon as he's free and runs for the bathroom. After a few minutes he emerges from the bathroom stretching, his silver tresses flowing about as he steps towards Yaezaki. His skin's hue has returned to normal and its more robust tan. He sighs and moves to get his clothes. "I've worked up an appetite." He secures his yukata and sits down on the bed. "You said you brought me something. Better be good brat." He remarks with a soft smile. Fuuta refreshed himself in the bathroom. He's not showing it now but he's growing increasingly happy with Yaezaki. He looks to his wrists and shakes his head. "That's gonna leave a mark." when he says mark his hand moves tentatively to his neck. There is a scowl on his face but once he looks back to Yaezaki it fades. "Well?"

Yaezaki blinks repeatedly then shrugs and digs around in his bag for a few items, pulling a box and two coupons from the bag. "I just have some candy right now so if you're hungry it won't help much… But that's why I have these." He holds up the coupons. "Two free dinners from that diner around the corner and they'll deliver too." He holds out the coupons, suddenly seeming nervous and off balanced. The experience with Fuuta's bloodline struggle had rattled him more than he'd thought and it was taking him some time to catch up to his own emotions. "So…So you can order whatever you want." The young Konoha chuunin is still on his knees on the floor by the bed as that's where he'd dropped his bag so he's effectively looking up at Fuuta where he sits.

Fuuta takes the candy and looks to the coupons as Yaezaki explains. He inclines his head "You're weird." he says opening the box. He was being honest and not trying to insult Yaezaki in anyway. "Who brings a crazed guy candy and coupons?" he asks now laughing a bit. Once the box is open he looks at the candy "From The Land of Earth you said right?" he inclines his head. Fuuta shrugs and begins popping some into his mouth. He glances down to Yaezaki but would look back once the boy noticed he was looking. His head turns away from Yaezaki "I'm gonna need you to stick around." he says softly. "I only pushed it back because you were here. I-I'll need you to stay around until I can control it…?" he looks back to Yaezaki now. Would the young man object? It wouldn't make sense seeing as how he'd been trying to help him with this thing despite nearly being choked to death. But he could understand Yaezaki's reasons if he refused. Fuuta just didn't want to be alone with this thing again. The young man put up a tough front with his arrogance but he was just as vulnerable as anyone else.

Yaezaki blushes as his offerings were made light of. He hadn't actually brought the things for Fuuta, the truth was he'd earned the dinners in a game and bought the candy for himself. But they had been a good way to get inside the apartment so he'd used them as such. He's seconds from apologizing when Fuuta takes the candy and tries one. The young Konoha chuunin had had the candies before and enjoyed them, so he hoped Fuuta would like them as well, but the thing that catches him completely off guard is what the other man says next.
The boy just sits there staring blankly as Fuuta asks him to stay, to help him. Moments pass slowly and though Yae doesn't realize it, he's been silent far too long. Suddenly he blushes deeper than ever and looks away. "Y..yea..s..sure… I.. I don't mind…."

Fuuta's eyes watch Yaezaki in anticipation. He demonstrated patience but he was also a bit afraid of the answer. He could hear his own heart beat racing inside his chest. It felt like it would stop beating completely if Yaezaki refused though. He stops eating the candy and just sets the box to the side. Suddenly he wasn't so hungry. Fuuta finally notices Yaezaki's stare and blinks. "You ok?" he asked a bit frightened by the young man's gaze. It must've been a lot for him to think over. Fuuta starts to withdraw his request until Yaezaki looks away finally breaking the stare and speaks. "The hell got into you?" he asks. Fuuta was happy with his friend's answer though and he'd hide that joy in his words. "You're not the one cursed." he smiles and moves to pet Yaezaki's head. "Whatever. I think I wanna sleep. My appetite is dead now." he hands Yaezaki the box and slides over on his bed. The sleep was much needed and so was Yaezaki at the moment.

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