Date: May 16, 2014
A routine transport mission is interrupted by none other than the Eco-Terroists Flexy Lex and Mariko.
Poster's note: foul language filtered in obvious places.
"Return of the Eco-Terrorists"
Mountain Path outside Kumogakure - Land of Lightning
The day is overcast and autumn is upon the village of Kumogakure. Hawk messengers have gone out and the message asks for the recipients to meet at the front gates of the village. It's mid-morning and when they arrive, Hiei is standing there next to a cart that is loaded down with lumber and other supplies. The cart is attached to a large brown horse. Hiei is dressed casually in a pair of white pants and a long sleeved black t-shirt with the emblem of the Yotsuki clan on the back. The newly minted Yotsuki clan head has an easy smile on his face and his hands shoved casually into his pockets. Whatever is going on..he doesn't seem to be a part of it. He's not even wearing any weapons. "Ohayo guys. This cart of supplies needs to be taken down into the lowlands to the Lightning Docks. Apparently there was a lot of damage done down there recently because of some pirate guy. I entrust this mission to you, but I've asked Hiroyasu to accompany you because I'm still on medical leave per the Raikage's orders." He's been kicking his feet up at home, but no reason they need to know that. For all they know, he's still hurt, even though he's not wearing any bandages. "Hiroyasu will be evaluating you during this, so be sure that you do your best. Any questions or comments before you leave?"
Michiko was reading when she got the messenger hawk's message. She has all of her stuff with her already, so it's just a matter of storing her book in her house before she dashes off to meet at the main re. "Ohayou, Hiei-san," she greets, giving a small bow to the Yotsuki. "The mission sounds simple enough, at least. I don't have any questions." She doesn't really know if Hiei's been injured or not since she hasn't seen him that much recently. She'll just take his word that it's alright for now.
Sado was just happy to go on his first official mission under Hiei's guidance, even if he wasn't actually going with them. The 8 year old Genin looks a bit crestfallen as his sensei mentions that he won't be coming along, but he was able to look on the bright side, which was helping his clan and Kumogakure out with a mission that may make paying next month's rent a little easier on his dad. When asked if he had any questions, the boy shakes his head quickly, not being able to think of any. The job seemed simple enough ,escort the supplies down and help out at the Docks. What could go wrong? Sado gives a look over towards his partner before smiling and saying, "Nice to meet you." in a proper manner.
- Up the way some, comes the Cloak draped Katayama looking rather sour. "You take a vacation, and I get your all your chores.." he huffs at the Yotsuki halfway raising a hand to hit him in the back of the head before stopping and deciding not. "Aren't you supposed to be laying in bed; not stealing my joy of briefings" Hiroyasu rubs the back of his head "You know I hate carts on these narrow trails.." he mutters before giving a proper bow to Michiko and Sado. "Its a delivery, and like all deliveries it's important cause someone needs it.. Bandits have been around, Pirates too.. everyone looking for quick pick to fame and fortune.." he says moving to sit in the drivers seat and looking back "Get in, or don't the choice is yours.." he says waiting a moment before sending the horse into motion down the narrow trails and turns. -
Hiei offers Hiroyasu a sheepish look. "I'm supposed to be in bed, it's true. But I wanted to wish my student well on his first official mission." He didn't flinch when Hiro was going to hit him. He fully intended to take the hit, too. He felt bad that Hiro had been regulated to taking over his duties, even if it's only temporary. "I'll get out of the way so you guys can leave." He flashes a smile. "Good luck out there." And then he walks back inside of the gate and heads back towards the Yotsuki village…after stopping for a kebab or two at the stand.
Michiko glances over to Sado when he arrives, giving him a bow in greeting. "Ah, hello there. It's a pleasure to meet you as well. I'm Iwata Michiko," she tells him. When Hiro arrives and gets in the cart, she hops in after him. Cart is a bit easier (and less exhausting) to travel by. "Have a good day, Hiei-san!" she calls out when he leaves.
Sado smiles as Michiko introduces herself, responding in kind. "Yotsuki Sado, just Sado is fine." Once Hiroyasu shows up to give a brief expectation of potential danger, Sado is nodding his head after accepting the fact that they might be attacked along the way. What would a seemingly D rank mission be without surprises, after all? "I will help make sure that it gets there!" he proclaims as he waves to his poor injured sensei and starts to walk beside the cart, always the workhorse, helping navigate the narrow turns along the way, hopping on back only when the cart was on straightaways and going at a good pace.
- Hiroyasu nods and waves "Yeah yeah such a good sensei.." he says as the cart heads out of view of the village gates. "Iwata-san is Nariko's Pupil so be nice to her.. or else we all pay" he says keeping a his gaze forward on the horse and the path. "This are pretty routine, its not the glamorous part of the Shinobi. At least we don't regulate menial labor to our Genin.. so your first mission wasn't chimney sweeping or trash removal expert. Take some solace in that at least.." before taking the cart around afew tight turns and sighing loudly. "I don't mind riding a horse, but carts urk me.." he says aloud to himself. -
The trip down to the Lightning Docks isn't a long one usually, but navigating with a cart on those narrow mountain paths slows the group down considerably. On a narrow pass near the Amagumo bridge a kunai with a paper tag is thrown under the cart. There is an explosion that throws everyone clear, but the cart itself falls over the side of the small cliff onto an outcropping several meters below. The face of the rock wall on the way down doesn't have any hand or footholds. It'd take someone with treewalking just to get down there to retrieve the supplies. The horse is lying on it's side, whinnying softly. It seems to be fine, but with the cart on it, it's not going anywhere anytime soon. As the Kumo nin regain their senses, they hear a voice speak:
Prepare for Calamity!
Make It a double whammy!
To cover the planet in vegetation
To unite all trees in forrestation
To denounce the evils of dirt and mud
To raise our leaves to the sky's above
There is a loud thud as a large man lands in the center of the path. He is heavily muscled and has dark skin. A wooden mask is worn over his face and while he does wear black leather pants, his torso is bare. He wears thick leather gloves on his hands. Flexy Lex poses in his usual manner as he bellows. "I have returned! The Captain of Perfection! The Master of Disaster!" He continues posing while flexing his muscles. He turns his back to the group, flexing his biceps like a body builder. "The Eco-Bandit Flexy Lex!" He winks and goes into another pose before kissing his own bicep. "Oooh Yeeah! I'm soooo pretty!"
Along the way as the kunai with the paper tag is tossed under the cart, Sado is able to see it whiz by from his spot beside the cart and is able to get off a "Paper bomb!" before he would be diving for cover, getting tossed into the nearby rockface on the other side of where the cart was. "Ugh." he says as he shakes the birds flying around his head away. After coming to his senses, Sado gets up and notices the man flexing in front of him, having missed the entrance. "Who are you?" he asks, deflating the grand entrance of the man with a confused stare.
- Hiroyasu is flung from the cart and almost over the edge, "urgh.. what was that?!" he groans trying to pull himself up from the ledge using his arms but that is too hard so he using treewalking to leap up over the ledge.. pulling out his Kunai he looks to the side "Where is Michiko?!" he says looking around.. "Sado are you alright?" he asks before sighing when he can hear the chant.. "This guy.. I thought he retired or died.. Sado don't let them get to the cart!" he says. -
Jumping right behind the infamous Flexy Lexy putting a boot on, trying to not tumble as she did so, was a young girl dressed in a glittery pink outfit with a matching pink eye mask. She whined as Lexy came out. "Lexy…I thought we were doing this tomorrow! I'm not ready and stuff." She brushes herself off and looks more cleaned up. She runs over to the unconscious Michiko, picking her up and absconds away with her. "Now even I, the mischievous Mariko, have come to..uhh…what were we doing again?" he softly whispers to Lexy.
Lex looks at Sado and almost sadfaces when the young man asks who he is. Was he not listening? "I'm Flexy Lex, fool!" He then blinks when Mariko shows up. He actually looks a little nervous. "B-B-Boss! I…I..told you we were robbing anyone that came on this path today right? I've already stopped their cart. I just gotta deal with this little brat and then we can take the spoils. They cut down trees, Boss. Trees! They're just gutting the forest and it's not fair!" He even stamps his foot and pouts. Then he pauses. "Boss? Whatcha gonna do with the little girl that keeps burning me with fire?"
Sado looks up at the muscular man, "That is quite an odd name, isn't it?" he asks him, looking over his muscles and thinking to himself. "What kind of ab routine do you do and how often? I've been trying to get mine to start showing more, but my sensei has been telling me I need to do a bit more growing." he asks the man curiously.
To Mariko he points. "You are the one who writes the trashy reports about Kumo ninja. My dad likes your report a lot. Could you perhaps give me an autograph?" he asks her, keeping the two busy for whatever Hiro has to do to save the cart, down on an outcropping that Sado wouldn't be able to get to, and Michiko in the clutches of the gossip columnist.
- Is surprised by the clever-retort that the Yotsuki had come up to distract them.. Hiroyasu inconspicuously lurks over the ledge and walks down the rockface heading down to the cart precariously perched on the ledge. How could he get it back to the road without it tumbling to its doom.. He can hear what it happening and from here could act if need be.. but for the moment he tries to make sure the horse is not injured badly, and that the cart is serviceable. -
Mariko looks to Lexy and nods. "Right, Right. Sorry. Days all mixed up and what not." She waves a hand in the air dismissively. "You guys shall pay for the destruction of the trees!" She points a finger accusingly, lowering her voice to try to sound more intimidating. She looks to Lexy. "Is that better?" She whispers to him before looking back to two, her hands on her hips. She had set Michiko down in a comfortable spot by a rock for the moment. THen Sado complements her and says he want her autograph. She gets giddy for a moment, jumping up and clapping her hands together. "A fan?! Of course you can. That is a silly question." She scoffs.
Despite their being a small explosion the horse seems to be fine and the cart is servicable. It just now has a black scorch mark on the underside of it. Luckily the supplies were strapped down tightly, and they're all still there. Meanwhile Lex blinks and seems almost giddy. "Yes! My abs are awesome aren't they!?" He holds up a finger. "What I do is, when I get up in the morning, I hang myself upside down and I do inverted situps. It's very…waaaaaiiiit a minute!" He leans forwards slightly and eyes Sado from behind the mask. "You're stalling us aren't you?" He looks at Mariko. "Oh yeah, much more menacing, Boss. That scared me too." He offers the girl a thumbs up, before he blinks. "Sprinkles! The boy is stalling us, Boss. We gotta get rid of him now!" He begins to swing his right arm in a circle, as if winding up for a haymaker punch. Then suddenly he strikes out with his left fist, attempting to confuse the young Yotsuki. "You can't stop the Thunderbolt!" Lexy cries out.
Sado smiles, his face brightening up. Truthfully his dad does love the column and wanted to meet Mariko, so even if this experience isn't the most ideal, it sounds like he is getting an autograph and helping Hiro at the same time, it was win-win! "My dad will be so thrilled, we don't have much at home, so your report is pretty much the highlight of his morning read. I was thinking I had a good story for you as well. See, my sensei Hiei is on medical leave but today he had no sign of injury or medical bandaging, isn't that odd? I think it's worth investigating. Maybe he got a new girlfriend or something even more scandalous is going on." he says to Mariko, his voice lowering as if he were sharing something juicy.
To Lex the 8 year old is almost taking notes, moving his abs, poking them, trying to picture inverted situps. "Yeah, that's good, I will try that." he says, again in a win-win situation. But then Lex gets this crazy idea that he is stalling them. "Stalling you? That is ridiculous. I just met a celebrity and someone who's abs I aspire to obtain similar ones to in the future." he points out, stepping back out of the man's reach, "Woah, what was that for? Do you usually go around hitting 8 year olds idolizing your workout routine?" he says with a frown. He looks over to Mariko for support in this.
- Hiroyasu wonders if he could use stone columns as a lift before calming the horse and checking on the goods which seemed to be well strapped in it. He can easily hear what is going on up above and isn't sure if he should give the kid a medal or tattle on him for trying to get his sensei in the Mariko Musings Column again.. he shakes his head and lashes things solid before weaving the seals needed to raise the stones which can hopefully lift the cart back to the road. -
Mariko looks at Sado and blinks. "Are you really wanting my autograph? I don't believe you." She sizes him up a moment, looking at him suspiciously. "Pffft, he's old news. I need more salacious news!" She looked to Lexy and nodded. "Onward! We must take care of the forest meddlers!" She points a finger in the air. She then puts her other hand up before bending over and starting a cartwheel towards Sado to hick him.
Hiro's stone columns form underneath the cart and lift it back up to the side of the path. Once getting back up there, all he'd have to do is pull it off and he'd be good. The horse might take a little more coaxing on Hiro's part to get him back up where he needs to be at. In the meantime, Flexy Lex watches the boss kick at Sado. He hmms softly. "Hey Boss? What if the kid is telling the truth. Maybe he does idolize us? I mean the Reizei kid with the sword always cuts me, and the little girl always burns me, but this kid hasn't done anything. Maybe he doesn't want to work for the Kumo nin no more. I mean, he likes my abs, Boss! That's got to count for something, right!?"
"I really do." Sado stresses, maybe he's not getting that autograph after all. His dad will be very disappointed if he doesn't. He takes the opportunity to look back over towards Hiro's progress, spotting the cart making it's way back up. Because of this brief check, Mariko's cartwheel forces him to put a little chakra into his legs to avoid. "Is it that hard to believe someone wants your autograph, Miss Mariko? You write for the Kourier, you have all kinds of different types of readers. My dad is one of the ones that really like your column, and would prefer to meet you in person, but an autograph is all I would ask of you, unless you are somehow looking for a good, strong husband. Surely you have many suitors already, though." he says, laying it on a little thick in a gamble to buy Hiro just enough time he needs to secure Michiko as well.
To Lex he nods, "One day when I get stronger you and I will have to Flex-off and see who's training regime is better." he says to Lex, pointing at him with a grin. "Give me a few years to catch up."
- Hiroyasu has one part of the hard part done, he pulls on the cart trying to pull it back on the trail.. he tugs at it, he jerks on the lines and yet it doesn't move.. he sighs.. and checks to see if the brakes was enabled.. not that it should matter.. turning them off he finds it actually rolls a little which makes it easier to pull it over on the trail. He slams the brake back on so it doesn't charge down the trail, and leaps back over the ledge to deal with the second part which may prove harder.. the horse.. "Come on, it'll be easy.. you just stand right there, and blooorup you right up to the trail.." he tugs on the reins but it proves to be stubborn having just tumbled.. "Come on! Come On!" he implores tugging on the reins. -
Mariko looks at Lexy and shakes her head. "Stop looking in the mirror and get your act together! No one likes your abs, they're ugly." She sighs and slaps Lexy over the head. "Pay attention!" She wags a finger at Sado. "I'll only give you an autograph if you survive." She taunts him a moment and raises on her left foot, into a pirouette, kicking out a leg towards Sado as she spins.
Hiroyasu's problem is two fold. The horse is a little scared, considering that it just fell and it whinnys defiantly even though Hiroyasu's soothing and begging gets it to move a few feet towards him. It's progress at least. Meanwhile, Michiko is still unconcious, sitting next to the rock that Mariko placed her by and Lex looks genuinely hurt at the harsh words from his boss. He bows repeatedly. "Yes, Boss. Of course, Boss. Sorry, Boss." Each time he bows he takes a step back. When she starts to tell him how ugly his abs are, he sticks his fingers into his ears. "Lalalalala. I'm not listening to such blasphemy!" While the Boss goes after Sado some more, Lex gets an idea on how to make his abs prettier. He takes out some oil and rubs it on his abs. "Are they pretty now, Boss?" He asks tenatively.
"That isn't a very nice thing to say about something that he had to work hard to achieve." Sado says to Mariko with a frown. "You know it takes years of hard work to get them to show like that? It's pure commitment to your body and health showing." he points out as he moves away from her kick again. "I'm sort of at a crossroads here, I've never fought someone who is a bit of a celebrity. If you really want me to show what I can do, I'm ok with that, but just know I'm here for the autograph, ok? Technically I survived that hit just now, so I'm not even sure if I won the autograph or not." he says as he moves into a better position and a ready stance, still not ready to throw down to break his act just yet as Hiro struggles with the horse down below.
Sado points to Lex as he applies the oil. "That… looks great. What kind of oil did you just use?" he says, keeping a wary eye on Mariko while weaving his way onto Lex's side now.
- Hiroyasu roots around in his cloak for something tasty a horse might find enticing.. "Nariko eating all my snacks up.." he says finding his usual snack pouch filled with instead pebbles.. "She needs to stop replacing my things with ROCKS!!" he shouts throwing the pebbles down.. then moving to cover his mouth and cursing into it.. "Done with this.." he decides to slap the horse in a capture seal barrier, and then elevates the horse that way.. safe in a bubble and not prone to tumbling.. -
Mariko looks to Lexy and shakes her head. "They'll never be pretty." She looks to Sado and shakes her head. "NO, it doesn't work like that. You have to survive the whole thing. Survive one hit? Thats pure luck." She sighs and looks to Lexy. "Get your act in gear!" She sighs and starts to pirouette once more, this time, instead of kicking, her arms extend outward to punch him as she spins.
With the horse now in a capture barrier, Hiroyasu has no problems elevating him right on up to the edge of the path and moving him over to join the cart. The hard part done, something still needs to be done about Michiko, though. In the meantime, Mariko's words devastate her employee. Lex slowly sinks to his knees and then sits on the ground. He holds his legs close to each other and the lays over in the fetal position. He begins rocking back and forth while murmuring. "My abs are ugly. My abs are ugly. I don't even want to live anymore. My life is over. I'll never find a girlfriend now.."
Sado moves back again away from Mariko's punch. "So what is the whole thing then? You should lay out the rules of a game before you start, you know. Was that it? Is there more?" he asks Mariko, grills her even, for the rules of her little game. With each dodge Sado had moved a few paces back away from Michiko and where the cart went over, dragging the two down the path a few paces as they engage. He was now rather close to the edge of the corner turn and running out of room.
As Lex goes down and stops his movement, Sado points at him. "A man with muscles like that should be standing proud and tall, Flexy Lex. I'm only 8 and I have learned that women love a man with good muscles." he says in a type of motivational speech, once given to him as advice by his father, though he was still too early for that nonsense. "What happened to the guy that was so proudly showing his biceps off?"
- Hiroyasu pushes the horse back to the cart and straps it up to the cart… glaring back at the horse who is glaring at him.. "You made me do it.. I don't want hear it" he says hitching it back up despite its protesting. "You should be glue.. now stay!" he growls pointing at the horse.. while he leans over to check the brake on the cart only for the horse to nip on the cloak.. he is pulled backwards and raises a fist.. "If you were a yotsuki, I'd clock you one" he says shaking his fist at it.. before looking up and seeing the battle has progressed quite far.. His body flickers for a moment before he becomes a mere outline and then the outline blending into the natural shapes of the rocks on the trail as he lurks up slowly to retrieve the felled Michiko.. he looks around and wraps his cloak around her and she disappears with him as he lurks back down the trail to the cart on the trail below.. Stealthyasu.. -
Mariko looks down to Lexy as he goes fetal on her. "Goodness, what kind of man are you? You're a wuss! Why did I even recruit you?" She looks to Sado. "Look what you did. This is all your fault." She looks back to Lexy and moves to kick him in the lower back. "Stop being a wuss and get your butt back up and fight! We are defending the forest! You're useless!" She huffs and turns towards Sado. "This is all your fault!" She starts spinning on her foot again, once she picks up momentum, she extends her leg to kick, then jump in the air to kick him and then lands, spinning till, with another kick to him.
While the two are engaged with Sado, Hiroyasu has a clear shot at rescuing Michiko. After cloaking himself he manages to get to the genin spitfire with no issues. When Mariko yells at Lexy, he crawls back up to his feet. And then he lowers his head. "Yes, Boss. I know, Boss." He then strikes a fighting pose to wait for an opening after Mariko attacks. "Maybe if I fight hard, Boss will think my abs are pretty again!"
Sado had run out of room, but just then Michiko disappears from sight. He blinks once, twice, not quite understanding what happened, but knowing the two in front of him don't have a clue. "Woah, hey, watch out, it is dangerous." he says as he sees Mariko coming for him, the faint hint of crackling lightning the only indication that Sado was performing a high-speed maneuver to appear behind her and try a push off the cliff he just had his back to moments ago.
- On the trail below with Michiko in tow, Hiroyasu lurks carefully as the genin is loaded into the back of the cart. "I hope she doesn't have a concussion" he muses before moving back to battle his great enemy.. the miserly horse.. "Look here, I don't like you, you don't like me.. but lets just get down to the beach and we can settle it like men.." the horse stares at him and clicks a hoof against the ground "Quit giving me backsass! You ought to be nicer.. maybe the other horses wouldn't whinny behind your back.." maybe Michiko isn't the one who might have a concussion. -
Mariko was still spinning as Sado tried to knock her. Unfortunately for her, it caught her off balance just a smidge and she went tumbling off the cliff. "Aieeee!" Was heard followed by a "I'm gonna kill you Lexy!" As she falls, her legs and arms flail in the air.
Lexy's eyes widen slightly when he sees Mariko go off the side of the cliff. "Oh no, Boss!" He runs and then dives over the cliff after her. The Kumo nin would hear as he falls. "SHE MEANT TO DO THAT!" And then. "Gonna get you next time, Kumo nin!" And then a lot of screaming before the voices can't be heard anymore. Looks like another shipment is safe from Team Eco-Terrorist.
Sado was ready for Lex like any sane person would be, after pushing his boss off the cliff. But he is kind of just left staring with his mouth open a bit as Lex goes careening off the cliff after here. "I guess that is that?" he says in a confused tone, scratching his head as he watches them fall. "I guess I won't be getting that autograph." he says with a sigh. A scary thing, childhood innocent curiosity. Who will ever know if he had planned it all or was really after an autograph. Turning around as if suddenly remembering, he moves back to where Michiko disappeared, checking on the cart below and making sure everyone was accounted for. "Hiro-san? Did you get everyone?" he calls down.
- Hiroyasu moves up into the drivers seat, "Yes I got Michiko down here.." about then a small little square of paper falls into his lap with '~Straight from the Bushes~ <3 Mariko' and a lipstick outline.. "I think I got something of yours down here.." he says holding out the square for the Genin to have. "Lets get going, we are running late." he says waiting for the genin to take his place before unleashing the brake and letting the horse carry the cart to its destination. -