Sagely Advice


Goh, Ei

Date: July 3, 2012


Goh gives sagely wisdom to Ei.

"Sagely Advice"


It's been a long and winding trip for the Wanderer known as Goh. Venturing from Kirigakure, the blonde had travelled around the borders of the Land of Fire and into the Country proper. Through the days and weeks he made his way across the forests and pathways, before eventually finding his way back to the entrance of Konoha. So with the sun shining down through a cloudless sky, the pickler comes into view very slowly, singing a lowly song. He sort of… mosies along, his right side going up, followed by his left. And if you look beneath him, you'll find out why. He's riding Wanpo! The small, six-foot long, three-foot high salamander is carrying him. Goh sits on it cross legged, backpack strapped on. In Wanpo's mouth is what appears to be a very large… man. Bound and unconscious, covered in saliva, the man is gripped at the torso, his feet and head poking out the sides and drooping a little downward. Not so much that they drag along the ground, but just above.
"Nearly there, champ." Goh replies, seeing the gates of Konoha in the distance. "Then we can have a nice rest."

Lounging lazily up in a tree, Ei was really all but vanished into the trunk after particular effort in situating her robe over herself. However, she quickly ignores that effort when confronted with the sight of a rather large salamander wandering down the road. Sitting up, she blinks and tilts her head at Wanpo, then the man in his mouth, before her eyes focus on the rider and she slowly raises an eyebrow.
"Adding kidnapping to your repertoire?" She's quite obviously just picking on him, not actually asking, as she shifts to hop to the ground. Landing with her legs bent, she straightens up and peers at the salamander, clearly a little… uncertain how wary she should be, exactly.

"Hmm?" Goh's eyes look up, squinting to notice Ei. "Ho. Well, if it isn't the pretty young lass who I told to be fiery and punch peoples face in. Ei, wasn't it? Good to see ya again. Didn't expect to find you out here for some reason." He shakes his head at the question. "Na, kidnapping ain't my thing at all. This is actually a criminal. Well, the leader of a gang. Came across him in my travels and opted to cash him in at Konoha. Get some coin for my purse. It's looking a little light on." He clears his throat.
"This is Wanpo. No need to be afraid of him. He's a nice guy, really. One of the Salamanders that I have a contract with." Hopping off Wanpo, Goh moves to grasp the bound captive and sling him over his own shoulder. Giving Wanpo a break, as it were. Wanpo, without missing nary a beat and now having his mouth free, opens his mouth to speak. "Pleasure, girl. I've gotta say — you're smokin'. Best looking human I've seen in years." Goh rolls his eyes a little, beckoning Wanpo to follow. Ei too, if she wants.
"Ignore him. He's becoming a bit of a horn dog. So what's up? Give me the run down of everything happening in Konoha."

"That would be my name, yes," she agrees with him with a small smirk. Gazing again at the man in Wanpo's mouth, Ei nods her head a bit. "Ah, well, that is certainly understandable, then." However, when introduced, she appears to react similarly to how one would react to being introduced to a dog: about to pet Wanpo with a small smile.
That quickly changes when he speaks, though, causing the girl to jump a bit in surprise. "Oh! Oh… wow. Um… forgive me. I've never actually heard an animal speak." That simple fact allows her to react far more than she normally might to such words; her cheeks darken and she gulps lightly. "Uh… well, I'm afraid I can't really help you much in that regard. I've been staying more in Kadomai than in Konohagakure. As a result… if anything important has happened, I've missed out, really. Sorry to fail you."

"Yeah, you failed pretty hard." Goh replies in a sarcastic manner. "Seriously, don't worry about it. Really? Never heard an animal speak? The Inuzuka have their dogs learn to speak. But animals that you get with the summoning contract are incredibly intelligent." He shifts around to give her a look, as if confused. Before then he turns back around to face the Gates, continually walking. "It's surprising how many ninja don't know about the summoning technique. I guess it's sort of a rare thing, but… eh. Still pretty handy to know about."
"Anyway, yeah, all of the Sala's can speak. And they come in all different shapes and sizes. Wanpo is still young and growing, hence the horn dog-ness. You should see Wanryo. He's probably fifty feet high. But I don't bring him out very much. Riding around on him isn't… yknow, as subtle as riding around on Wanpo here. Then I have Reiko too, who I use for infiltration. She's tiny, only about a two inches long. And then, the big daddy, the boss of all the Salamanders; Igneel. Well, I guess it's good to say that it's probably not a bad thing that I can't bust him out yet. He'd probably set the world on fire."
"Ahem. Anyway! How did everything pan out with your boy troubles, or whatever they were? Get them all cleared out?"

"I guess I just don't know a lot of Inuzuka. Only one I've really talked to is Atsuro-sa — " Pausing, Ei furrows her brows. "Why is this still difficult for me?" she mumbles, shaking her head at herself. "Atsuro… Sorry. He doesn't like honorifics so I try to avoid it and if I start using it now I think I might slip when I see him next. To the point, though: I don't know of any other Inuzuka first-hand and I've never really… — I mean I did read about summoning contracts. Quite in short, though… I'm not a shinobi, though, so that probably has a large part to do with it."
With the explanation of the other salamanders he can summon, she looks quite impressed. "Well… keep at it. I'm sure you'll get the hang of it some day. Reiko-chan sounds adorable, though," she comments with a faint giggle. It quickly dissipates at the questioning and she looks a bit surprised. "Ah… Well you've missed quite a bit in that regard… Are you sure you want to hear about all that…?" Reaching up to rub the back of her neck, she seems to just think it'll be boring more than actually being uncomfortable with the subject matter.

"Not really." Goh replies, sounding not particulary interested as he walks just into the Gates proper. "I mean, well…" He frowns a little, perhaps not seeing what he wants around. His head does swivel around, as if curiously looking for something. He adjusts the man on his shoulder with a gentle heave.
"Only if you want to tell me. There's no pressure. And really, you don't have to say anything else. By the sounds of it, sounds like stuff hasn't gone as smoothly as everyone would have liked. Probably didn't take the punch to the face too well." Perhaps that was bad advice? "And yeah! That's right, I forgot you weren't a ninja. Sorry then, my mistake." He turns about a little, facing her a bit more directly.
"Shinobi, if they're chosen by the particular creature, can sign away on a summoning contract. There are lots of different animals you can find if you can find their scroll. Dogs, snakes, toads, salamanders. But they might not accept you. You have to fit the species, have the right personality. Know what I'm saying?" Wanpo clicks his toungue a little, just standing there and looking around.
"You usually have to give up your own chakra in order to summon them though. And some blood. Like a sacrifice sort of thing. Some of the summons though, like the snakes, demand something a little bit extra. Other than your own blood."
"…now where is that—oh, there he is. Wanpo, prep the gang members. Ei, you can help me out here if you want." And just like that, he beckons the Gate guard over. Who begins to mosey on over to the small group.

ww"Luckily, I didn't literally punch him. Instead, I tried to talk to my parents like he wanted. He ended up leaving me. Moral of the story… is I'll listen to you next time." Ei takes a deep breath and shakes her head. "I did take your advice later, though, and took a stand against him… and won him back. Funny how that works."
Quietly raising an eyebrow at him, she looks thoughtful. "Blood, huh…? I'll probably steer clear of summoning contracts, then… I'm glad you told me about it, though. Um… help you how, exactly?" Even as she asks, she raises her hands to put them to quick use when it's explained how she's to help him out.

"So you're still with him? Nice one. Heh, that is a little funny how that worked out." He smirks, before beginning some hurried discussions with the Gate Guard. After a moment, he drops the bound man in the little check-in station. Before walking over, he begins talking to the Guard again. "Ei, all I need you to do is count the bodies. Ideally, any weapons and such they have on them too." What bodies did Goh mean?
Stomping his foot on the ground, Goh then twists his heel in the dirt. There's a small rumble as the ground quakes, before out from the very ground pops dozens of small lizards! Tiny Salamanders, only an inch long. But that's not even the weird thing.
Each one opens its mouth VERY wide, and proceeds to spit up a full bodied human! Each of them are bound, uncionscious, and very slimey. There are dozens of them. Fifty-six all up. As each little Salamander spits up the prisoner, it burrows back into the ground, dissapearing from view.
It's the entire gang that Goh came across, it seems. Not just the leader.

"Technically 'back with' is more appropriate," she murmurs quickly before quietting down as the leader is passed on. Ei is quickly taken off-guard once again by a ton of little amphibians popping out of the ground, but she quickly enough recovers and starts to count when need be. She even wanders over each of them, trying to avoid stepping in any slime but seemingly mostly unbothered by any that sticks to her sandals, and simultaneously takes note of weapons and the like that is notable.
Once finished with that, she reports her findings back to Goh and the gate guard. Then she raises an eyebrow at the blond before removing the mask from her face so as not to seem strange to the guard. It would seem she'd almost forgotten about it. "I must say… that I'm quite impressed. Did you manage this all by yourself, with help from Wanpo, or did you have more help than that?"

"Hmm. I guess so." Goh replies to the 'back with' comment. "Thanks." He comments to Ei, relaying that information to the Guard. Who, after having a quick glance at the scene, hands the blonde some coin in a pouch. Which Goh obviously takes, a happy look on his face. "Help from Wanpo? You must be kidding." Wanpo, still hanging around, clears his throat as if embarrassed.
"Perhaps I should clear this up with you, lass. I'm not a huge fighter. Goh uses me more as a… companion. My level of attacks would test a new Genin, but not much else." Goh laughs, giving the Sala a pet on the head. "He's not the toughest guy, but he's a character. Keeps me company on my long walks across the world, too."
Regarding being impressed, he shrugs. "I guess I just got lucky with a few of my hits." Obviously downplaying some things there. "What you should REALLY be impressed with is my fab skills with the vegies I pickle. For real, I'm coming up with something so huge… it's going to shake the whole pickling world. Right to the core." He nods in satisfaction, before beginning to walk into the Village proper. Wanpo trails behind.
"So you say you're not a ninja? What is it you do again?"

Ei turns her attention toward the large creature when he speaks and raises an eyebrow a bit. "I see… I suppose that makes sense." Scratching her cheek, she hums thoughtfully as she follows after Goh. "Pickles, is it? So you're a bounty hunter and a pickled vegetable salesman… as well as a advisor for young ladies. Not to mention traveller. Is there anything you /don't/ do?"
At his question, she looks a little taken aback. "I… don't, really, do anything. I don't have any experience with anything worthwhile. My parents essentially raised me to be married. I'm lucky I avoided such a fate as arranged marriage… Mostly thanks to my mother, to be honest. While she wants me to be taken care of, she also wants me to be happy… My parents take care of me still. They took me back in when my boyfriend left me behind and I have yet to inform them of our reunion. I was not staying at home anyway… I was intending to travel on my own. I was looking for someone, but I couldn't find him. Probably best this way, regardless."
Rather suddenly, from outside the village, flits a bird which lands quite readily on Ei's head and begins to cheep at both Wanpo and Goh. The hummingbird is puffed up somewhat but is hardly threatening despite its clear attempts to be such. "… Sorry. I also happened to find a different companion and he is… I guess possessive is the most appropriate word." The bird stays where it is, feathers puffed out defensively still.

"Eh, I'm not really a Bounty Hunter. This idiots just tried to mug me. And I offer advice to everyone! You would be surprised as to how much the 'punch him or her in the face' advice works. In a whole bunch of different situations. But to answer your question, not really. I try and do everything, I guess. At least once." Stepping about, he squints as he looks around. As if in the Village for the first time.
"This place always smells different." Hearing what Ei has to say, he nods. As if it's all coming back to him. "Riiiight. That's right, yeah. I remember now. Arranged marriage and evil stuff going on in your setup. Travel on your own?" His eyebrows raise a little in surprise. "So long as you take a big-ass sword, I guess you should be right. Who were you looking for? I may have seen him in my travels on the path."
When the bird arrives, Goh grins and faces the creature. "Heh. It's a bit of a boss, huh?" Goh leans forward, as if to study the flying creature carefully. Certainly looked tough! "Good to have someone you can count on, always being by your side. Even if it is a bird."

"Ah, I see," Ei responds to the explanation of the gang's misadventures with the wanderer. Then she giggles shortly at his comments regarding his advice. Soon after, she raises an eyebrow again, however. "Smells different…?" She sounds somewhere between confused and shocked before she laughs and shakes her head. "Me with a sword? I'd more likely take my own foot off than successfully protect myself with such a thing. Um… Kyoumen Satsukiyami… He'd offered to teach me at one point but I refused him because I had a sensei already. So… I thought I may be able to gain his forgiveness and ask him to teach me. Being back with my boyfriend, however… keeps me away from him, really. Kyoumen-sama took his arm off before," she explains in short.
When Goh leans in, however, the bird is quick to peck at him. "Hey!" She emits something of a growl and reaches up to grab at the bird, but only gets air as it flutters off her head. "It is good to have him with me… Almost wish he could talk sometimes… I'm actually a bit afraid what he'd say, though. Wish he at least had a name. I haven't given him one because I figured he wouldn't answer to it anyway…"

"Ye-ow!" Goh reels back as he is pecked, watching as the bird retreats back into the sky. "Satsuki? You mean the guy that nearly killed the kid?" Perhaps he's confused? He continues to rub at his forehead, maybe confused about the situation.
"So let me see if I have this straight." He begins, trying to clear his head. "You're trying to learn some basic defence skills or something? From someone else completely? And this Satsuki guy tried to help you too?" Seems he was only getting bits of the story.
"Getting really heavy for me, but I would suggest maybe not getting taught by the guy that put Ataru on the brink of death. May not go down well. Especially since I've seen ANBU hunting for him all over the Country."
He twists his neck a little. "Up to hit the marketplace? We can set up my stall to sell my stuff."

Ei doesn't actually appear surprised to hear of Satsukiyami's less-than-heroic exploits, even in such small details. She simply squints a bit curiously as she listens to the blonde. "… My boyfriend, Ryoji, was originally my teacher… He was teaching me survival, though, not techniques or defense or anything like that. I decided I wanted him to teach me more… interesting things, to put it eloquently. Kyoumen-sama asked if I wished for him to teach me and I told him no… Evidently he gets jealous and he took Ryoji's arm. When Ryoji left me behind, I thought it would be best to find a real teacher and Kyoumen-sama was the first one to come to mind. It is… unfortunate to hear of him being hunted if that is the case… Ataru, you say? Hmm… He probably said something stupid to deserve it," she murmurs in thought before blinking at the offer. Looking thoughtful for a moment, she opens her mouth a few times in thought before shrugging. "I suppose I can keep you company."

Goh stops a little bit, turning around to look at the girl carefully. Considering her words, he seems to ponder them, as if to disagree. But he shrugs, pivoting on his foot to head for the marketplace. "That's interesting." He comments idly. "That you defend this guy even though you know of his violent past. Mm." He doesn't really say more than that.
"Well, that's all out of my plate I guess. C'mon. I'll show you some of my super secret stuff." And with this, he increases his walking pace, seemingly in a hurry to get there.

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