What If? Stars of Spooky - The Crowbird



Date: November 1, 2013


This fowl quoths a lot more than just "nevermore". :P

"What If? Stars of Spooky - The Crowbird"

Land of Lightning

(Thanks to Eremi for the suggestion.)

Once upon a grey day raining,
While I was a sleuth in training,
Reading manuscripts explaining
Nuggets of detective lore,
Suddenly there came a pecking,
As of someone's sharp beak trekking,
O'er my temple, jaw, and necking,
Bugging me with pokes galore.
('Tis that blasted crowbird,) thought I,
(Bugging me with pokes galore,
Only this, and nothing more.)

"Y'know, Jonny-boy, I'm thinkin',
While you're starin' at that inkin',
Your shot at a gal is shrinkin',"
Quoth the crowbird, clearly bored.
"You should be out there a-courtin',
Take a pretty lass cavortin',
Show her all th'charm you're sportin'
Out there on th'dancin' floor!"
He'd been squawking on about this
Since he'd nested on my floor,
Things like this, and little more.

"If you were at all attentive,
You'd note weather unrelentive
Acting as a bit preventive,"
I said, noting the downpour.
"Why, that makes it perfect timin'!
All th'bugs come out of hidin',
So you've lots of choice fer dinin'!"
Crowbird said, thinking he'd scored. ^.^
Of the quirks of human palate,
Like how creepy-crawlies scored,
He would have to learn much more. e.e

"That ain't all wot makes it ideal!"
Squawked the crowbird, growing in zeal,
"There's romanticizin' appeal
In a rain scene! Gals adore
The idea of courtly fellas
Sharin' wi' them their umbrellas,
It's in all the love novellas!
Let's go find a brolly store!" :D
How this bit of romance cliche
Wound up in his knowledge store
Baffles me forevermore. c.ca

"Bettah yet, a scene o' dangah!
Nothin' beats a handsome strangah
Dashin' in like a lone rangah
Givin' threats to gals wot-for!
Only tricky part is there'll
Need to be a source o' peril,
Somethin' vicious, somethin' feral,
How's about a wild boar?" 8D
Clearly when his line of thinking
Went to loosing wild boar,
I could tolerate no more.

"Cease with all your brainless prattle!
You would have me stampede cattle
Through the town, just to do battle
And impress girls? I'd abhor
To find favor with young ladies
By duplicity so shady!"
Though I knew he wished to aid, he
Gravely thin my patience wore. >.<
"And besides, the girls in this town
Are themselves adept in war;
Why would they need rescue more?" :P

"That's a point," the crowbird ceded,
Though my anger he'd not heeded,
"Somethin' biggah would be needed,
They'd find hairy pigs a snore.
Oh, but ain't a practice patrol
Part o' this week's cop trainin' goals?
You could meet gals out on a stroll
While you're gettin' in that chore." ;)
True, and it occurred to me if
It was sunny for that chore,
We'd run into girls much more. e.e

"Fine, we'll go out on patrol beat
Up and down the length of Main Street,
Any girls we see, I'll go greet,
Just to please this fix of yours.
In return, please do not muddy
Up my focus when I study." :P
"Deal!" squawked crowbird, "Now Jon-buddy,
Don't forget y'pinky-swore!" :D
(Meeting on that day the lady
To whom all my love I swore
Was sheer chance…or was it more?)

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