Ninja Commercial 13

Intro

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Narrator: Next time on Naruto Shippuden…
Sakura: *Sitting in a chair in front of a pile of letters* Why do we keep getting all these letters complaining about how "emo" the series has become?
Naruto: *Lying face down on a couch* Meh.
Sakura: …Look, I get that you miss Sasuke. So do I! But you could try >smiling< every now and then!
Naruto: *Lifts his head and looks at Sakura*
Sakura: What? …Don't you look at me like that!
Naruto: *Gets up* You're right, Sakura! I can't just lie around forever!
Sakura: That's the spirit!
Naruto: *Starts singing* I am really special cuz there's only one of me!
Sakura: *Smiling* Wait, what?
Naruto: Look at my smile, I'm so damn happy, the people are jealous of me!
Sakura: —Uhh
Naruto: when I'm sad and lonely, I like to sing this song… *Looking at the Team 7 photograph*
Sakura: Naruto…
Naruto: *Turns around, hands on hips* It cheers me up and shows me that I won't be sad for long!
Naruto: *Kicks open the door of his apartment and dances his way out*
Sakura: Wh-Where are you going!?

Naruto: *Leaps down the stairs* Oh, oh, oh!
Naruto: *Marching down the street* I'm so happy, I can barely breathe!
Kiba: *Stares*
Akamaru: *Barks at Naruto*
Naruto: Puppy dogs, and sugar frogs—
Gamatatsu: *Looks up*
Naruto: —and kittens, baby teeth!
Naruto: *Stands in front of Konohamaru and his friends, flexing* watch out all you mothers, I'm happy as hardcore!
Konohamaru: Yeah!
Naruto: Happy as a coupon for a $20 whore!
Moegi: *Gasps* HEY!

Naruto: I'm really happy, I'm sugar coated me!
Naruto: *Holds up a picture with Naruto in First Tail form* Happy, good, anger, bad, that's my philosophy! *Crosses out the transformed version of himself*

Naruto: …I can't do this, man. I'm not happy.

Naruto: *Singing again* I am really special, cuz there's only one of me! Look at my smile, I'm so damn happy, the people are jealous of me!
Naruto: *Sexy no Jutsu* These are my lovehandles, and this is my spout!
Naruto: *Changes back* But if you tip me over, than mama said knock you out!

Naruto: *Becoming less enthusiastic* I am special, I am happy, I am gonna heave.
Naruto: Welcome to my happy world, now get your shit and leave!
Naruto: *Drooping* I am happy, I am good, I am…

Naruto: I'm outta' here! *Starts running out the Village's front gates*
Naruto: *Stops to turn around and point back at the staring Sakura* Screw you!
Naruto: *Resumes running*

Closing Comments

There is a reason emo sells better.

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